Definitely a big, hairy, gay guy to me.
There’s a huge bear event out in Guerneville every year. Lazy Bear Weekend (Totally SFW.)
We’ve been camping in Guerneville once while it was going on, and looking at the dates this year, just realized my husband and I and his kids will be camping out there this year during it.
I learn a lot on this board. Even though some board members with bear names had spoken frankly about their gayness, I never until this thread knew that bear meant gay, along with the big, hairy, barrel-chestedness. I believe it is a somewhat recent development. I suppose it’s useful information. I intend to ask around to find out if I’m the only guy who didn’t know that bear=gay.
I was born in 1949, you see. When we watched television, Sugar Bear sold us Sugar Crisp cereal, with a faux Bing Crosby voice. Later, Yogi Bear dashed around Jellystone park. He was silly, but not gay. When I was in high school, the guys who got called Bear (and sometimes Sugar Bear) were stocky and hairy.
Later, I knew some of those guys’ wives and kids. I worked daily with one of the wives during their divorce. He had been fooling around. Yes, with another woman.
I’ve never heard or seen any of the men I know (either personally or who I know of, through various message boards or sites) who call themselves “bears” who were not gay. All bears are gay, as far as my experience goes. Had no idea that a straight man would ever call himself by that term. Not around here they don’t.
As far as the mug, well, I don’t want to hear about anyone’s sex life at work. I know they have sex. (Most likely.) I don’t want to hear that they are bears, or into S&M, or like to pee on each other, or who wears the pants in their relationship (whether they’re straight or gay). TMI for me.
Edit: I know it’s said about straight or unknown men, “Oh he’s a bear of a man, isn’t he?” or something like that. That’s not the same as being “a bear.”
Right, which is not something I want to know anything about at work. A presumably straight woman down the hall has a card with a scantily-clad guy on the front, clearly a joke from her department, and I still don’t like it. Basically, call me the touchstone for whether something can possibly be construed as sexual and inappropriate. As I said, I’m lucky in that it rarely comes to that; people are generally very careful/discreet.
I am friendly enough to jokingly say “TMI” but unfortunately this guy has decided to be my unofficial “little brother” and you know how they like to repeat things they know bother you? But if it came down to that I could seriously talk about it.
I dunno… He only ever hung out with Boo Boo. 
It sounds to me like he was pulling your leg. Not that all the other stuff necessarily isn’t true, but I’m willing to bet the main reason he has a bear mug is somewhat coincidental.
This guy is planning to get the bear paw print with claws as a tattoo. If you’ve been to thecompletebear . com, it’s the pic they use on the free magnet.
If all he did is mention that he is gay, then what’s the deal? He’s not telling you any more then the guy who mentions his girlfriend or the woman who mentions her kids. The first is probably straight, the second has probably had sex.
I think any big husky hairy guy could be called a bear, but if the guy self-identifies with a “bear culture” he’s most likely gay. I’m not aware of any groups of big hairy straight guys who like to hang out with each other and celebrate their big hairiness. Although straight biker bars would be pretty close.
Bears in the gay community I think just felt marginalized and ignored by the more popular stereotypical lean, smooth, well coifed gay man. “Hello, we’re not all perfect. Some of us like to drink beer, eat pizza and chop firewood at our cabins.” Or at least, look like they do. They didn’t feel that gay pride adequately encompassed them, so the started bear pride.
If you ever find yourself in San Francisco and you’re feeling adventurous, you definitely have to drop by the Lonestar. It’s a bear bar and you’ll never meet so many huge, friendly, hairy accepting people anywhere else. Believe it or not, they don’t bite, and you can feed them.
I agree that this is a somewhat recent development in common usage (note that the word as defined in the link does NOT necessarily indicate that the bear is, himself, gay, but rather that the word is a “term used by gay men.”), but I think term has been around much longer.
Part of the current vogue of the word is the trend in the gay community for non-twinkish gay men to be comfortable with their physical appearance as well as their sexuality.
emphasis mine
I interpret that to mean that bear = a hairy, loose, queer.
I’m a little confused as to what has the OP upset, as well. All his mug says is that he’s gay, which is workplace appropriate information, and that he’s a large, hairy guy, which should be obvious just by looking at him. It doesn’t refer to any particular sexual act, or anything, just a very general descriptor of his orientation and appearance. There’s nothing more offensive about it than a woman having a coffee mug that says “Blondes have more fun.”
That’s true, but he did have a girlfriend in an episode or two. Like most Hanna-Barbera projects, Yogi Bear was pretty much asexual.
Well, that’s why I started the thread. To me it says, “I like to be on top of a less-beary guy”. That’s the level of detail I don’t need to think about. Like if the married lady in the next office has a mug with a swallow on it, meaning…she swallows.
To me, someone being gay or straight would only be mentioned through implication by way of mentioning significant others. For example, I don’t have an SO and I don’t believe my sexual orientation has ever come up, nor should it. I knew he was divorced from a woman but didn’t know he was gay until he mentioned it, and frankly it didn’t need to be mentioned.
But yes, that’s innocuous information. He’s not particularly large and his hairyness is probably better left to the imagination as well. :smack:
I’ve certainly never gotten this kind of connotation from the word ‘bear’, and no one here seems to have either. It’s a straightforward description of orientation (in the abstract) and physical appearance.
Just in case anyone comes to work with a mug with a cute picture of an otter on it, “otter” is a skinny bear, in the vernacular.
Heavens!
What if it’s a moose?
I’m just asking, cause that guy over in HR is looking mighty suspicious!
Well, rest assured it doesn’t mean that. It’s more like, “big is beautiful.”
And then there are “bear cubs” or just “cubs.”
I just had to come back to this one - how do you mean you “reflect” on it? I don’t mean to be combative, but something about this statement doesn’t sit well with me.
I have never heard “bear” used in reference to gay men. I always associated the word with TV characters such as Lou Grant or Stan Wojciehowicz. Big, hairy (well not on top, in the case of Lou Grant ) and thickly built, with a sort of irascible temper.