It’s the truth and I’ve been thinking about it for an hour now.
Bob knows something his ex doesn’t understand: It’s disrespectful to suck anyone’s cock in your friend’s establishment. Full stop.
Next time I see Bob, I will show him this thread. If I know him correctly – and I think I do – he will log on and answer your questions.
candide, I don’t know you at all but based on this thread there’s something slightly ‘off’ about how you present yourself and this story.
You ask people’s opinions, get pissed off with some of those opinions, withhold pertinent information about the circumstance for no apparent reason, control the circumstances in which you inform your friend, eke out the information about how you told him, then put something about showing him the thread that adds a layer of challenge/moral blackmail to him to participate.
It’s all a bit weird, and you strike me perhaps as a real control freak.
I hope he will feel good about ending his marriage in this situation and I hope he is doing okay.
Seems like the separate went separate ways and the kids don’t mind from what you said, so I hope the break is as clean as it can be. And I agree with others-- tell her (Janice?) she can’t come back to your establishment.
Well, that doesn’t make much sense, either. Who tells their dad about their mother, “We always hated her”? That’s weird.
I agree with this. This story is all over the place and is not currently passing my sniff test.
Agreed.
So in your eyes, each person in this story equally shares the same degree of “awfulness”?
If all of this took place at a different venue, like a park instead of the bar, would you also conclude that the park is awful?
Does **Candide ** also own the park in your analogy?
I honestly have no idea what you’re on about. If you are implying I have a problem with bars, let me assure you: I don’t. Nor do I have a problem with parks. I do, however, have a problem with pretty much every character in this story, as it’s been recounted to us, excepting the children. I’m not interested in trying to figure out the “degrees” of awfulness; every time the OP comes back, the story changes, and at this point I’m not sure I believe any of it.
Summing up: this is a messed up story in which every character acts poorly.
Either way…ownership to me…it’s immaterial. The trees and grass are the same, the play equipment and restrooms are the same whether Candide owns it or not. It’s about the people, not the venue…remember, this was my response to the original claim:
[QUOTE=miss elizabeth]
This is just disgusting. You run an awful bar full of awful people. Everyone deserves everything they get.
The End
[/QUOTE]
and the recent follow up:
Ok…I take it then the bar itself wasn’t really as awful in your second post. It just happened to be a place where the awful crap happened.
But, the initial actions of 2 people spurred on the reactions of (to the best of my count) 5 other people. The response of the other 5 in no way match in severity to the actions of the initial 2 people. I do care about the degrees of awfulness, and how one’s action creates reactions in others…that’s human nature. Damning the whole lot is just not thinking this through…the ex-wife and the boyfriend at the time were the obvious issue that affected 5 other people directly with their bathroom antics. I don’t think those five did anything comparable in awfulness to those two…and we know worse things could have happened but didn’t…such as injuries or death.
Makes me think of the McDonald’s where the 2 drunk women assaulted the cashier who grabbed a metal bar and beat one of them pretty badly.
As for the unfolding of the story…does seem a little awkward to me also…but I think he/she left out some important parts in the OP that we asked for later, but I’ve seen this in many other threads where we asked the OP to fill us in on missing details. It does become a pain in the ass to follow and comment on…and that’s why I think a lot of posters here gave up and condemned everyone in the story. Infidelity and betrayal tend to bring out the worst in a lot of people.
Also my reaction at the last update.
All bars aren’t awful, but this particular bar seems to be filled with awful people. Everyone who comes through there that I’ve heard of seems awful. Therefore- awful bar.
You want degrees of awful? I think the ex husband is piece of shit who trash talks his children’s mother and does his best to turn their kids against her. I think the ex wife tramps around too much. I think the boyfriends should take their sexual adventures home. And I think the bartender and his little buddy should mind their own damn business and quit spreading gossip around.
Mostly I don’t care, because, as I said, it sounds like a lot of people getting their just desserts. But it bothers me to know this dad is taking his anger on his wife out through his kids. There’s no excuse for that.
I dunno. The story as it stands isn’t terribly interesting as far as interesting stories go, and it kinda paints the teller in a bad light. So I’m not sure what the heck the point was, assuming it to be made up.f
Well, they probably aren’t his kids anyway…
I’m sure that will be the next update…
I’m surprised no one mentioned this. Apparently, it’s all his wife’s fault – he doesn’t even hold it against a friend if the guy gets it on with her. WTF?
Here’s an update:
The day before Halloween, Bob, me, my buddy Mike and Bob’s son met up at Bob’s favorite Thai noodle joint near Bobs’s house. I love Thai noodles. We had a great time.
Today, Bob stopped by the bar. I was online on the Straight Dope, but I didn’t show Bob this thread. We’re still friends and I think we’ll be friends for a long time. I didn’t have the nerve to show him what I’d asked, though.
Here’s the upshot. I haven’t started a thread here in years, 4 or 5 or so. When I started this I expected criticism: I wanted feedback. I didn’t listen to it, though, and in the end, I went on my own, so to speak. Now I’m a liar, a scumbag, you don’t believe what I’m telling you…
I can accept that. What I can’t accept is that you blame my bar and those who come in. Don’t do that.
In this sad story there is one person without blame and that is Bob. He was true to his wife, he was true to his children, he has remained a friend to me regardless of the truth I told him. He has done nothing wrong except be angry. He has a right to be angry.
Miss Elisabeth your words, in particular, have been strong and powerful and pertinent. I have taken notice of them. I think a lot of it carried wisdom. Except for Bob’s real name, though, I have been entirely honest. Your words have hurt and I don’t think I deserve all the bile you’ve offered me.
Starting this thread has been enlightening. I appreciate everyone who has offered an opinion. Unless I hear from Bob, after this, I will no longer be participating. Fuck Y’all.
(its a joke)
It’s not surprisingly not funny at all.
What an odd series of events. I still don’t get the kids sending the “hated her” birthday cards. Kids might be unhappy that parents are splitting but they usually don’t go the announcement cards route.
It’s a joke, astro. I guess candide was trolling us. Ha. Ha.
Hoe can an ex cheat?