In a genetics class I took once, we had to do reports using Powerpoint. One girl did her’s on cloning. She stated that one of cloning’s uses would be to clone murder victims so they could tell who killed them.
This was just the other day, a female newscaster doing voice over on live coverage of the train accident in Southern California: “Oooh, look at that guy, he’s got blood all over him. That’s gotta hurt like the dickens.” [sub](Do they really pay those people?)[/sub]
That may not be as stupid as you think. There are a number of “fancy” catfish that are common aquarium fish.
I guess maybe it’s wrong to post two most stupid things but I just thought of another one. When I went to get new glasses once the saleslady was explaining the concept of these “featherweight” lenses to me and how regular lenses for my perscription would get very thick at the edges. To make her point, she had hoped to say that they got “exponentially” thicker or that they got “incrementally” thicker…
In the end she got a little muddled and said that the lenses would get “excrementally” thicker towards the edges. I was a nice guy and let it slide. (But I was cackling on the inside…)
This was from when I was twelve years old, and was hanging out at my friend’s house. The NHL playoffs were on TV, and his dad was watching them.
Me: What period is it?
Him: Overtime.
Me: Who’s winning?
And from another occasion, I was trying to convince my friend to overcome her shyness and talk to this guy with whom she’d had a number of classes. They’d seen each other at parties, and had mutual friends, but had never really talked to each other.
Me: He probably wants to meet you too. Maybe you could get a friend to introduce you.
Friend: Meet me? Why would he want to meet me? He doesn’t even know me!
Me: Maybe that’s why.
The Pictionary posts remind me of a time we were playing Celebrity Taboo. The celebrity was John someone (I don’t remember the last name, doesn’t really matter).
Hint#1 for first name: Another name for toilet.
Somehow my mother (who was the guesser) couldn’t come up with “John”.
Hint#2 for first name: “blank” Wayne.
My mother: Bruce?
We still occasionally refer to toilets as “Bruces”.
Blond cow-orker discussing illegal immigrants: I don’t even understand why they’d want to come here.
Me (trying to put the answer into small words so as not to confuse her): Well, they don’t they don’t have houses and they don’t make a lot of money where they come from.
Her: Well, if they don’t have houses, then they don’t need to make a lot of money!
Then there was the time that I made a comment that another cow-orker’s family tree included sheep. His response: Well, sheep are useful. :eek:
When out with my mum we realised that we needed milk at home, and so we were checking to see if we had enough money:
Mum: Do you have any money?
Me: I have a dollar coin.
Mum: How much is that worth?
Me: … about a dollar.
My father’s girlfriend is an imbeciles. Two of my favorite stories:
“I don’t know why everyone thinks that Einstein is so smart. All he did was that one thing.”
Another time, she met my then-girlfriend Bess at the farmer’s market.
IG: I have the hardest time shopping. I can never decide what to get.
Bess: Hmm.
IG: Sometimes, what I do is, I look in other people’s carts to see what they got.
Bess: Hmm.
IG: But then I don’t get it…
Bess: [desperately extricates herself from the conversation before she starts shaking the IG]
Daniel
I remember going to a grocery store to buy some hot dogs. I found several brands, and being a comparison shopper, I wanted to know the prices. One had no price at all–not on the shelf, nor on the package. Sooooo…I take the package to someone who works in that department and ask how much the hot dogs are. I swear this idiot takes the package, inspects it and replies, “I don’t know–it doesn’t say.” I refrained politely from responding, “No SHIT, Sherlock!”
Oh and I didn’t buy any hot dogs, either.
Err, my father’s girlfriend is just one imbecile, not multiple imbeciles (although she’s got enough stupid to feed an army). IG, of course,=Imbecile Girlfriend.
When I was in eighth grade, one girl in my science class was well-known for her “interesting” questions. The only one I can remember (which isn’t that stupid compared to the other posts in this thread) was when she asked in the middle of our unit on the solar system, “Why don’t the people at the South Pole fall off [the Earth]?”
Nobody, not even the teacher, was able to explain to her that “down” is a relative term for gravity.
In my high school physics class, we were asked to open our textbooks to a certain page. A young lady (who really shouldn’t have been in there) asked the teacher “So, what page is 234 on?”
This reminds me of the time a blind friend of mine had convinced this extremely gullible young lady friend of ours that he could drive by sticking his hand out of the door and running it along the yellow line as he drove along. She bought it completely.
I have a good friend who has convinced another one of my friends that she had no belly button because she was adopted.
Here’s one on me…when my husband and I were dating, he took me home to meet his parents, who are big Ohio State Buckeye fans. Dad’s going on and on about what a wonderful team they are, and pert little me asks, “Oh, yeah? If they’re so great how come they’ve never won the SuperBowl?”
Been married 13 years…still haven’t lived it down.
Guy looking at a map, immediately in front of Beaudry metro, which has a huge rainbow flag on it. Like, he’s one meter away from it.
Me: “Puis-je vous aider, can I help you?”
Him: “Yea, I’m looking for the metro station with the big rainbow flag on it.”
Me: silently turns and points to the building immediately behind us
To his credit, he did laugh at having missed it, and I’ve made a few such errors in my time (although I don’t think I’ve ever misplaced anything that large).
In my 7th grade science class, we had to do energy-related projects. One kid invented a solar-powered flashlight.
A few weeks ago, walking along the Manhattan Beach pier, some kid pointed at the daytime moon and said, “Look, Mom! Another sun!” He was about 10 years old, which in my estimation is too young to say such a thing ironically, so I think he really thought it was another sun.
Dumbest question ever: “Is that you?”
My sister in law was helping me trim the ivy on my BRICK house down to an even horizontal level when she mentioned she “wished there was a line or something” she could follow.
That was like a five minute Open sesame for my mouth.