My favorite reason to mock him was because when his first movie came out he made all these hints to various interviewers about how he did secret work for the CIA.
What a poser.
If by “mixed up” you mean “crying like a little girl when threatened” then, yes.
My general feeling on him?
I keep waiting for him to pop up on one of the following:
The Surreal Life
Dancing with the Stars
Skating with the Stars
Cooking with the Stars
Celebrity Fit Club
Is Stevie rated better or worse than Van Damme? Speakman?
I’m convinced that Will Sasso’s hilarious portrayals of him on MadTV contributed to the downfall of his career.
And he runs like a girl.
I believe Saturday Night Live’s talent once said he was their Worst. Host. Ever.
When my husband and I were getting together, the dojo came together in someone’s living room to watch one of the early Seagal movies with Kelly Le Brock. I only remember the parody titles (Hard To Stomach) so I can’t tell you which one. But I will tell you, he’s doing some sort of moxibustion on the tatami when Kelly oozes into the room wearing (and they’re staying at her male Chinese friend’s house, so where did she come up with this) some sort of little black number with crisscross lacing over the cleavage and stiletto high heels. As she undulates toward him onto the tatami a single cry went up from all the aikidoka assembled there.
“NO SHOES on the MAT!!!”
I recall something about my husband-to-be and popcorn spilled down a certain location rather than the rest of the film.
Oddly enough, I’ve been listening to his new album on my iPod today. Steve Seagall and Thunderbox’s “Mojo Priest”. I got a copy from a friend in Germany. It’s…not bad. Honestly. The studio (I’m assuming) musicians are quite excellent. The lyrics and songs are straight up blues with the predictable lyrics expected. The vocals are all within a 6 note range. I played some of it for a co-worker and he liked it. He then asked who it was and made a grimace when I told him. So if anything, it’s good for shock value.
I just caught Into the Sun on TV and it wasn’t half bad (despite the presence of Steven Seagal). A good portion of the lines are in Japanese, it was shot in Japan and uses a lot of Japanese actors. I could see it being pretty popular there.
Hells yes. For quite some time I think that Sasso’s Seagal and Kenny Rogers made that show…
‘I’ve improved on widescreen with my new supermegamax wide screen.’
-Joe
I’ll admit, all I’ve heard of the album was a short clip that David Letterman played. It sounded about par for the course in the realm of vanity music projects.
A friend of a friend interviewed to be his personal assistant. The interview consisted of him being picked up by limo at a preplanned location and then driven around Hollywood for thirty minutes while Seagall sat disinterested and Seagal’s manager asked questions. Seagall’s bodyguard had his jacket open the whole time displaying a hand gun.
But…but why would Steven Seagal need a bodyguard?!? You lie! Stop lying, you lying liar!!
While we are on the subject of washed up action stars, what in the hell happened to Jean Clause Van Damme?
He was my favorite for a long time and then poofhe disappeared.
I saw one of his movies, possibly a straight to video, I don’t know. It was on cable one night and he didn’t say a word through at least 2/3rd of it. He looked, ummmm, stoned or something. He was wearing a french foriegn legion hat if that helps.
Bleurg! I think I’ll pass on this.
Van Damme was later revealed to have major cocaine problems, and I recall some news stories that he knocked a wife or girlfriend around. His career seems to have taken a major dive in the late '90s, which he never recovered from. Since he was never the best actor anyway, almost everything he does now is direct-to-video.
I know he made more than one movie set in the French Foreign Legion, but I think the one you would have seen is Legionnaire, a later, direct-to-video release with a PG-13 rating (as opposed to his earlier films, which usually contained more blood, boobs, and naked Van Damme ass shots and earned their R ratings). Here’s his IMDB listing, in case it helps: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/
To be fair, I think two Van Damme movies are actually very good as far as action movies go:
Bloodsport (1988) - great use of different fighting styles in the tournament, a supporting cast featuring a 50-year-old Bolo Yeung (with the biggest pecs ever), a young Forest Whitaker, and Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds, and a soundtrack of overwrought '80s montage/“get psyched” music and power ballads by Stan Bush (of Transformers: The Movie fame).
Hard Target (1993) - John Woo’s first, and arguably truest-to-form American film, set in the dark streets of New Orleans and the foreboding bayous of Louisiana. Lots of John Woo touches here, including slow-motion Mexican standoffs, double-fisting gunfights, and white doves flying – again in slo-mo. You’ve got a plot reminiscent of the classic short story “The Most Dangerous Game,” pre-Witchblade, pre-alcoholic Yancy Butler as the love interest, two excellent and capable villains played by Lance Hendricksen and Arnold (Imhotep/Habib Marwan) Vosloo, Wilford Brimley as Van Damme’s flaming arrow-shootin’ Cajun uncle, and Van Damme himself playing a character named “Chance Boudreaux” in a Gambit-style overcoat, sportin’ a mean mullet.
My feelings on Steven Seagal are that his lifelong dream of becoming the celebrity decoy for Jim Belushi is coming closer to fruition every year…
You, sir, are my new hero.
I’m afraid to read this thread, I might find that someone finds him viable as a human. As an actor he is stiff, pretentious, smarmy, annoying and smug. I really can’t stand to watch any movie he is in.
Please tell me I’m not alone.
Bad Guy Flunky: Here’s the file sir!
Head Bad Guy: Hmmm… “Navy Seal” that’s pretty hard core and Wow!.. A top ranked Ballroom Dancer, and he won the blue ribbon in the 4-H “Biggest Watermelon” contest. Imagine that! First Prize!
Flunky looking over Boss’s shoulder - And look! It’s says he’s well hung too!
I like to point and laugh at him. I also like to tease my sweet pea’s mom, because she used to have the biggest crush on him. “Mmmm, now that’s what I call a real man.” Ewwww! She, of course, denies this now.
SpikeTV seems to be into him in a big way. Hey! I just watch it for my Trek fix. I refuse to give Majel Roddenberry my money.