What is the most awkward situation you have seen?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I am enjoying What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen a stranger do?, and thought I would inquire: What is the most awkward situation you have seen or experienced?

I will start with two.

First is a militant-feminism-poisoned young lady of maybe 19 years, spouting off about how evil men are, while some guy who probably considered himself her boyfriend is standing by looking increasingly awkward.

Second is a bit more complex. The scene: an outdoor Cajun music festival in a small town in Louisiana. My SO and I arrived early and spread a blanket. Next to us sat a married couple who had driven their RV down from Indiana for the fest. Two ladies-of-a-certain-age came in and set their folding chairs in front of the Indiana couple, completely blocking their view of the stage. After a bit, Indiana Husband gets up and stands in front of the Ladies, blocking their view. Eventually, the local constabulary strikes up a conversation with Indiana Husband. Meanwhile, my SO is having a strained conversation with Indiana Wife, who, no doubt, was feeling awkward.

So, what is your observed or experienced Awkward Situation?

2

At work one day, it was a rather quiet afternoon and a young Asian couple came in and were looking around, quietly talking to themselves. Nothing out of the ordinary. All of a sudden out of nowhere, the guy starts pulling the girl’s hair. She started screaming in Mandarin and crying, and the guy just quietly and quickly walked out of the store without a word. The girl stood there for a moment and then left out another exit.

My co-worker and I just looked at each other in shock. A little later I saw her on a bench outside having a tearful cellphone conversation. I haven’t seen her since, but I hope she’s ok.

3

At a former place of employment, I was in the washroom doing my business at a urinal when the CEO walked in. He was a large man – in fact, rotund would probably be a better description, with a big rock-hard gut, as though he’d swallowed a huge medicine ball. He did that thing the really stout guys do, where they have to stand well away from the porcelain because of their size and then bend backwards so that the equipment gets close enough to the urinal to ensure some sort of accuracy. (Why don’t the cheeses have their own biffy? Cripes!) Anyway, we’re pissing away when his cell phone goes off. He groans and then glances over at me. Jokingly, he says, “you know, that might be for you.” Without even thinking, I replied, “Well, want me to reach into your pocket to find out?” We were both stunned. I’d essentially just cruised the CEO of the company. I turned beet red. He finally laughed and said maybe he’d just let the voice mail do its thing. A very awkward moment, and my only interaction ever with the CEO.

We lost that CEO a few months later during a particularly brutal corporate tug of war. It was really something. At lunch some days, the cheeses would go up to the roof of our building and actually play tug of war. Some of us would go up to cheer them on. One day, the other side let go abruptly and the CEO, two VPs and the CFO went staggering away backward over the edge to their death. We were astonished, to say the least. Apparently, the CEO’s cell phone went off on the way down and, trooper that he was, he actually tried to answer it!

4

Actually, a rather squirmy situation happened in my living room yesterday. Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it, but alright, you asked!

A woman that I know through a mutual friend dropped by to give me a baby present. My mom was over at the time. My mom knew the woman vaguely through things I had said…but unfortunately she wasn’t completely up to date. First my mother asked the woman when she was getting married. The woman (we’ll call her Sally) had to explain to my mom that it just didn’t work out and that she wasn’t going through with it. Actually, her fiance had cheated on her and ran off with an old flame…Then my mother started talking about car seats and how when she had a baby they never had to use car seats, but how it’s probably for the best because there are so many car accidents and children are probably safer if they are restrained instead of just floating about in the car and on and on and on (despite me trying to motion to her to stop, please, for the love of God, STOP!!!)

Sally’s little girl had died in a car accident because she wasn’t wearing a seat belt :eek:

Why do these things happen? Please deliver me from witnessing awkward situations in the future…That almost killed me!

5

I was once putting the moves on an attractive young lady that I had very recently met. I had my arm around her shoulders and was softly working my magic in her ear. After awile she leaned her head back and turned toward me. I immediately thought she was offering me her lips, but before I could react she softly said “I think you’re full of shit.” I was speechless for a moment and then broke out laughing, she joined in the laughter and, after we settled down the relationship proceeded very nicely. She wasn’t averse to my advances, she just wanted to establish that she wasn’t a fool.

6

Aww, now you had me going until the end!! :stuck_out_tongue:

7

I had a couple of fraternity brothers that loved to do “the walking 69” in public. The big one would hold the little one upside down, each with the head positioned over the other’s crotch and arms around each other’s waist. The upside down guy would flail his legs like he’s having an orgasm and the other guy would just walk around nonchalantly. It was pretty hilarious to see them doing it around campus but I once observed them doing it right after the father’s dance with the bride at a wedding and the parents were not… ummm… amused.

8

They were wearing clothes. I hope that was clear.

9

I was at waterpark with a group of people-most of whom I didn’t know very well.
One of the men pointed at his wife’s breasts and asked those of us standing close by “How do you like them-I just bought them for her last week?”

10

The most awkward moment was at a birthday party of a friend of mine… where a friend of her mother a lady almost 60 years old said something quite embarrasing. We were chatting about AIDS and the danger of it all… when this lady calmly makes a the following remark:
“Yep its so dangerous… one has to do it with the hand nowadays”.

Suddenly the living room was all silent in shock of her overly frank statement. This older woman talking of masturbation just like that. She didn’t notice the silence either. There was the very awkward 30 secs where no one spoke. My brain was trying to overcome the shock of it all… and all I could think of was how to break the ice… and get the conversation going !!

I just blabbered something in order to get everyone talking again…

11

For a couple of years when I was single I tended bar at a local establishment. During that time I dated a young lady and began seeing another.
One dark night both women were at the bar at the same time.Completely flabbergasted was I. As the evening progressed many of the patrons commented on my situation.
Two comments stand out these many years later.
One fella said" Man I feel sorry for you."
The cook,a routund old busybody said" Caught like a dog aintya."
A couple of minutes later the cook appeared again and said “Do these two know there is a third?”
The third comment was kinda ancient history but I didn’t really need the antagonisn at the time.

12

About 15 years ago a cow-worker’s mother died a prolonged and awful death from brain cancer. Fast forward two weeks post-death, when New Woman in the office is making small talk with a group that includes me and the woman whose mother had recently died.

New Woman was experiencing a headache at work that day and went on and on and on in the vein of “My God, I feel like I have a brain tumor/brain cancer.” I finally discreetly pulled her aside to let her know it wasn’t the best conversation to be having at this particular moment :smack:

13

A little complicated, but worth it:

I was at a couples’ home for a party (Ed & Sandy)*. Many people, about half were relatives, the rest friends/neighbors. We went through a ton of alcohol, so at one point Ed left to get more beer. Although he was drunk, there was a place a mile or so away and nobody objected to his driving. It was a different era where DUIs were not common, and if stopped by a local cop Ed would likely be told to go home and sleep it off.

Sandy’s brother’s wife (Jill) needed cigs, so she went with Ed. They were gone a long time. People were getting worried, even considering calling the police for fear that there had been an accident.

Then, Ed and Jill walk through the door. Disheveled. Very disheveled. Look up disheveled in the dictionary and you will see a pic of those two. In a nanosecond everyone knew, even old aunt Dorothy. Everyone left the party in silence.

This all happened many years ago. To this day, Ed maintains that he was raped. There was a load of family strain, but no divorces!

  • All names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
14

My friend K was visiting me, and had been in the house for several hours. K has a glandular problem that causes her to have really bad, strong BO despite being a clean and hygienic person. I’m used to it (having known her since we were 12 and it was already in evidence then) but I know it must be a shock to people who meet her for the first time. Anyway, we were just hanging out, chatting and so forth (as she grew ever more fragrant) when my husband got home from work. He walked in the house and said “Hello” and then added “Pwhor! What’s that smell?” I said “I don’t know, I can’t smell anything” and tried to mentally telegraph the message “Change the subject!” to him. Unfortunately, the message wasn’t getting through because he kept on about it. “You can’t smell that? It’s revolting! Surely you can smell it. It’s a horrible smell!”. Through gritted teeth, I snarled “It must have been something I cooked earlier. How was your day?”. “Nahhh. There’s no way that’s a cooking smell. Can’t you smell it? It’s like BO on steroids. It’s gross.” says my darling husband, ignoring my question and strolling around the house sniffing the air through his screwed up nose. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I insisted, sneaking concerned glances at K. She was unsuccessfully feigning unconcern about our conversation, looking more uncomfortable by the second. “I’m going to open some windows!” my sweetheart exclaimed. “Maybe that will get the stink out”. The second she left, I turned on him and said “The smell was HER, you insensitive oaf!”. He was mortified at the time, but now looks upon it as a great joke (he’s not so fond of K).

That incident should have taught him to watch his mouth, but alas! did not stop him declaring “Ergonomic keyboards are gay!” (as an expression of disgust, not endorsement) to two of our homosexual dopers when we met them at a Dopefest. I hope they forgive us, but I’m getting used to that sensation of wishing the floor would open up and swallow us both now.

15

About 15 years ago, I was on my way home from Taekwondo class. I had a Stop-N-Go that was on the way home that had become a regular watering hole for me. As I’m standing in line to pay, a young girl (turns out she was 15) comes in crying. Everyone in the store goes to help her.

Turns out this was a teenage love story gone bad. She had fought with mom, then run off and shacked up with her boyfriend, the eternal love of her life, and they had had a fight while they were out driving around. He dumped her out of the car and took off. She’s scared shitless, totally lost, but at least she did the smart thing (for once) and headed for a public place. I called her mother and explained the situation; mom’s first inclination was “So? This was her decision, let her live with it.”. I got into it with mom over the phone, and got her to agree to let the girl come home. But she wouldn’t come get her. About that time, boyfriend pulls up and I can see why mom would have objected to him. A true walking shitbag. He wants to take her back to the lovenest. Everyone objects and tells the girl that would be a huge mistake. Boyfriend gets pissed again and burns rubber out of the parking lot.

I wound up taking her home. It was extremely awkward because she spent most of the trip crying and I was visualizing being pulled over by the cops at 10:30 p.m. and having to explain why I have a crying 15 year old girl - that I’m not related to - in my car. I did manage to talk to her a little and suggested that she try real hard to make amends with mom. I also gave her a business card and asked her to stay in touch with me and let me know what happened.

She never did. And every once in a while, I think of her and I wonder what happened to her.

16

We were enjoying the breakfast portion of the B&B experience when the son of one the other couples staying there did the math out loud and realized that his parents’ wedding anniversary did not properly correspond with his age. TMI for breakfast with strangers, that’s for sure.

17

I got on to a small rant one time, talking about my sister-in-law who has been married 7 times (so far.) I didn’t say anything particularly **bad ** about that fact, I just made it clear that (IMHO) anyone who had been married 7 times by the age of 45 had some issues. After the group with whom I was speaking broke up, one woman told me that another woman in the group was on her 8th marriage. Ooops. I had wondered why she was giving me the hairy eyeball.

I still say that 7 plus marriages is a big ol’ red flag. IMHO.

18

One of the interns in our law office was having an affair with a married attorney who rented space from us.

One morning at a staff meeting, the attorney’s wife came into the conference room. “I just wanted to get a look at the bitch who’s fucking my husband.”

The intern’s face didn’t even get red.

19

This is a two parter but with the same characters. It turned out rather long…let me know if it was worth it.

My hubby and I are in Cuba on a tour of Havana. We’re on a small tour bus with other couples from various resorts. One couple is from Alberta - the wife is wonderful but the husband is really redneck “Notice there’s no big trucks around here, you should see the big truck I got at home”, or “I’m so sick of this damn Mariachi music, what I’d give for some country tunes right about now.”

There are two other couples, both from Toronto. The catch is that one of the couples from Toronto happens to be two males. It seems quite obvious to everyone on the bus that this is a very nice gay couple, to everyone that is except the other couple from Toronto, who we’ll call Sally and James. i.e. James keeps asking the gay guys about thier girlfriends - on the prowl in Cuba for some action etc etc.

After a day of touring around we go to a hotel to change clothes for an evening out at the Tropicana.

Situation 1:
We’re all standing around our guide in the foyer - there are two hotel rooms for us to use over the next hour or so to change for the evening. Two keys for two rooms for 4 couples. I suggest we share the hotel room between two groups of spouses. But James can’t see the benefit of this - he insists that all the males should go up and change together, and the females go up as a group to the other room. Silence. ALL of the other guys are just staring at each other. I’m sortof stunned - he doesn’t get it does he? I look at my husband and he gives this dire look - ‘NO, NO, NO.’ (My hubby has comes a long ways, and is really trying not to be homophobic but really he’s not at the point where he’d be comfortable with this scenario.)

I simply put my foot down and said, that didn’t make any sense since my husband and I have one bag with both of our stuff and we’re going to go in couples, period. Red Neck guy chimes in like I knew he would. And James is like, well what are the two guys from Toronto going to do. I said nothing - just walked away.

Situation 2:
At the Tropicana (great place by the way) all the guys get free cigars and the women free roses. One of the gay guys from Toronto is sitting on one side of me, my husband on the other, and beside him red neck guy. Gay guy wants to smoke his cigar but isn’t really familiar with cigars. My husband meanwhile has lit up his and is puffing away, and grimacing as red neck guy goes on on with his gay jokes which by now is getting rather tiresome. Gay guy wants to smoke his cigar and I said well my husband lit up so I’m sure it’s OK. Gay guy doesn’t realize he needs to bite off the end of the cigar in order to get the cigar to draw air.

Gay guy tries to lite his cigar and sucks and sucks and sucks on it while trying to get it to burn. But he hasn’t bitten the end off it like my husband did, and it won’t draw. I’m looking at him rather confused as it’s not working. He keeps sucking and sucking on the cigar trying to draw the fire and is gathering the entire table’s attention as he does so. And that’s it for Red Neck guy - he bursts out howling and howling and howling in laughter. Gay guy goes red and I pipe up that he probably needs to bite off the end of the cigar first.

I’m vaguely morified for him, and of course James straight guy just doesn’t get what all the commotion is about.

20

Occasionally when my wife and I get on a crowded elevator, I’ll angrily whisper (loud enough for everyone to hear) Well if I’M not the father, who is!?

It’s amazing how quiet an elevator can get. It only really works when she can stifle her laugh for the whole trip, which she’s only succeeded in doing twice.