What is the most creative excuse that you have come up with for being late for work or school?
I’m usually late for everything, but the best excuse I ever came up with for being late (I was late to a pretty important meeting) was that I slipped and fell on the ice. Good thing it was winter at the time.
I was attacked my three midgets in gorilla suits.
When I was 20, my roomate and I both worked for Nintendo in Washington. After a few weeks we decided it was a horrible job. Our solution? Have a contest to see who could get fired first.
After showing up about 30 minutes late I told my boss
“Sorry I’m late. A truckload of Barry Manilow clones overturned on the highway and it took forever to get around 1000 guys on the highway singing Copacapana.”
His response?
“I see. So I’m going to put you over here today and…”
A friend of mine was supposed to meet his lady love but showed up an hour late. When she questioned him as to where he had been he claimed he had been kidnapped by space aliens.
My most creative excuse for being late coming back to work for lunch was true. I swear. Actually, it was so bizarre it was totally believed.
I was late coming back to work from lunch once because there was a house being moved in the middle of the road and I was stuck behind it. It took up all five lanes of the road. After about two excrutiatingly slooooooooooow miles it turned off into a vacant lot. I was two and a half hours late. However, on the local news that night, (thank Og for a local news station that will report anything) there was a story about a house being moved down the very same road I was on. 
Six years later, I still have the most original excuse for being late story record at work.
Not me but my best friend’s mother-in-law.
Excuse no. 1: “While I was out walking the dog this morning, we were sprayed by a skunk. I can’t get the smell off of me.”
Excuse no. 2–this is true, I swear, and it got her a few days off not just a couple hours leeway in getting to the office: “I won’t be in because I’m having brain surgery today.” :eek:
“Oops. I forgot I had to go to a client today, and headed to our office instead.”
Luckily I “remembered” before I got all the way there. :rolleyes:
(Yes, they were in opposite directions :D)
No really creative ones. The best would be that “I was stuck in the lift”, which was actually true.
Me> I was helping an old lady across the busy highway. These motorists are such pricks. Took us nearly 10 minutes to cross.
Boss> Ahh, thats nice. But, wait! You’re twenty minutes late.
Me> Uhh, yeah. Thats when I found out see never wanted to cross the street in the first place.
No no, its a joke.
When I was in high school I was usually always late and we had to have our parents right us notes if we were late. I actually managed to get up early and get ready with a lot of time to spare so I decided I would be productive and work on a craft project. I used superglue. The tube leaked and I got it all over my hands and we didn’t have any nail polish remover. It took me forever to pry my fingers apart and I had to get my mother up to help and write me a note since I was going to be late. I drove myself to school and turned in the note.
I was told that either I came up with a very creative excuse or it was so crazy it had to be true.
Phoned in. " I just washed my face and I can’t do a thing with it."
My stock excuse:
“Sorry I’m late. There was this big problem… and I’m late because of it.”
Can anyone name the movie I got it from? 
Years ago, my brother had a hamster that got stuck in a heavy cardboard tube similar to what carpet is rolled on, as opposed to the lightweight stuff toilet paper is rolled on. Mr. Hamster decided gnawing wasn’t enough, so he crawled into the tube and got stuck, causing my brother to be late for work as he had to free the critter from the tube.
I once called in sick with athlete’s foot. Another time with a brain tumor. God, I hated that job.
Boss: What time did you start today?
Me: Seven
Boss: You were supposed to start at Five Thirty.
Me: I didn’t want to get up that early today.
Boss: Oh. Ok. Well, don’t make a habit of it.
Me: No promises.
Boss: (laughs). Alright.
True story.
I was once playing a game of Scattergories in which the category was “excuses for being late” and the letter was N.
Most of us submitted things like “no alarm clock” or “not awake”.
My friend Cathy, a completely likeable and harmless person, submitted…
Necrophilia
Not creative, this actually happened:
I forgot my pants.
Explanation: I rode my bike to work (5 miles ~25 minutes) and took a shower at work (our building was next to the company employee park). After the shower I opened my panniers to get dressed and realized I had forgotten to pack any pants. I wasn’t about to go into a meeting wearing a button down shirt and lycra bike shorts, so I went back home to get them (and take another shower)
A friend of mine, who is a bit quirky, was given a bonzai tree for her birthday. She immediately fell in love with it, and was late to class one day because she was busy trimming it. When she got to class, the professor asked her why she was late. “I was busy taking care of my bonzai tree,” she said. The professor let it slide.
Once, in my early twenties, I had a friend call into work for me and tell them I was in a coma. When I showed up the next day my boss was very perplexed and suspicious until I swapped my bogus excuse for another -
“Coma? Who told you I was in a coma? I was in Tacoma!”
Seemed to work.