What is the perfect first question to strangers?

[Kenm]

Have you been to the Stampede?

[Blaster_Master]

I don’t think there’s exactly a perfect first question unless you literally have nothing to go on. But that’s never the case as you at least have the context of the place where you’re meeting to start up small talk. And, really, you learn the most about people through small talk and where the conversation goes. I particularly hate interview-type questions like “what do you do?” Unless the person is an astronaut or a rock star, it’s probably not going to lead to a lot of interesting things.

That said, when all else fails, I will end up with some sort of variation of a particular question: “Tell me about yourself.” The reason that I like it isn’t so much because of what they talk about, but rather what they choose to talk about. For instance, someone who talks about their job first is going to be very different from someone who talks about their family first who is going to be different from someone who talks about one of their hobbies first. Basically, it’s a way of sussing out what matters most to that person and a bit of information about those things and, based on what those things are, you learn some basics about the fundamentals of their personality.

[Bam_Boo_Gut]

@Anaamika

I’m the other way.

Someone who knows me comes up with Hi Dee, and the newcomers start calling me Heidi.

[snowthx]

@CookingWithGas

Once someone asked me, “What do you do” and I said that I play a lot of guitar, I also like to cook, and do some photography when time permits. She said, “No, what do you do for a living?” I knew perfectly well what she meant but I hate when that’s the first thing that someone asks me. In fact, Miss Manners (and others) think it rude to ask about one’s livelihood because it gives the impression you are trying to evaluate what social class they are in and whether they are worthy of your attention.

Yep. This. I avoid that as well. It seems to be the standard, tho, for all situations these days. Even on the news, when they are talking about someone, they always include that person’s job - “Joe Schmoe, a landscaper…” or “Jane Doe, an attorney…”.

Tangent: I also can’t stand when people you DO know start off the conversation with “How’s work going?”.

[Mona_Lisa_Simpson]

Originally seen in “Harold and Maude”

Psychiatrist: That’s very interesting, Harold, and I think, very illuminating. There seems to be a definite pattern emerging. And, of course, this pattern, once isolated, can be coped with. Recognize the problem, and you are halfway on the road to its, uh, its solution. Uh, tell me, Harold, what do you do for fun? What activity gives you a different sense of enjoyment from the others? Uh, what do you find fulfilling? What gives you that… special satisfaction?

Harold: …I go to funerals.

I don’t necessarily recommend this particular set of questions (nor response!) but I did think of this when I saw the thread title.

[Shalmanese]

@DoctorJ

Not a first question, exactly, but in interviews and sometimes just in conversations with strangers I like to ask, “Everybody has a topic they can bore people to death talking about. What’s yours?”

I used this one last night, not at the beginning of conversation, but when there was a lull. Her answer was “tea parties”, not like, The Tea Party but, like, high tea and cucumber sandwiches and the like. It was great and we ended up talking about a completely different side of her that never would have been exposed if I hadn’t asked that question.

Thanks!