I was to be griller this month. Henry, I think I am gonna need another brandy.
“Ever done time?”, opens the door for stimulating conversation.
“Is this your car?”
“If I kidnapped you and took you to a place where nobody would find you, which way of horrendously murdering you would you find most palatable? I see. Most horrendous? You don’t say! Good day to you, I hope to see you again.”
I remember reading an article wherein a woman said her opening question at cocktail parties and such was, “So how did you get here?”
If the person came back with a staid, “Oh we took the parkway south, didn’t hit too much traffic…” then this revealed a serio-logical thinker who was too literal minded for her tastes.
If they responded with something kooky like, “Well I guess it all started about 30 years ago…” then this was the creative, fascinating sort that she enjoyed conversing with.
My take? I think it’s unbelievably lame to come with a preemptive set of expectations as to how somebody is supposed to respond to your little personality test. I’d also say this reveals a lot more about you then the person you are trying to meet. (Incidentally I’m directing this at the writer of the article and not the OP.)
I’ve always wanted someone to try this question on me so I can come right back at them with a “Oh piss off why don’t you.”
Anyhoo.
To answer the question, I always go with, “So, hot enough for ya?”
When this elicits the requisite simple chuckle, I give a hard stare, become deathly serious and say “No I mean it, is it hot enough for you?” and demand they answer the question.
How do you meet someone “without context”? Seems to me there is always some kind of context – a business meeting, a social occasion to which you have both been invited, a meeting centered around a shared interest, an attempted pickup in a singles bar. I honestly can’t think of any examples of meeting a stranger without any context, and that context should provide some topic for conversation. If you just walk up to me on the street and try to strike up a conversation, the only acceptable first question I can think of is “Can you tell me how to get to such and such location?” Any other question would have me wishing I had reconsidered my positions on gun control and concealed carry.
My response to that question is always “in what sense?” Usually stymies them, because unlike that person, people are usually expecting one answer or the other and never considered that there were the two you mentioned.
“What do you want?”
“How did I get here?”
“What have you done with him, you monster!?”
Not a first question, exactly, but in interviews and sometimes just in conversations with strangers I like to ask, “Everybody has a topic they can bore people to death talking about. What’s yours?”
I like this one a lot. I usually don’t like talking to strangers and get prickly if they ask me anything personal, but this question would make me open up.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Are you any good at playing ping-pong?” (I actually tried this on a girl once.)
And the classic: “What year is this!?”
“Do you feel lucky, punk?”
That’s a good way of putting it, that it sounds like a job interview. The only people I’ve known to ask questions like this right off the bat tend to be people who are thinking they are making some sort of point by cutting through all the socially expected small talk and just getting to the heart of the matter. Hell, I went through a phase like this in college. I think small talk exists for a good reason, and starting off with such “heavy” questions is off-putting to most of the populace.
On the other hand, it’s a good screen. If you want to interact only with people who find questions like this interesting, knock yourself out.
Either that, or the kind of person who just wants you to finish up real quick so that they can then launch into an endless fucking monologue about what they’re passionate about, what makes them happy, etc.
I Love this & Shamelessly have stolen it!
I’ve found it useful to compliment a person on an item of jewelry (for women) or an unusual tie or shirt (for men) and ask if there is a story behind it. Like, “Wow, what a lovely necklace. Is that alabaster/abalone/gold/hematite/turquoise/krypton/whatever?” Followed by, “Where did you get it?” or perhaps, “Was it a gift?” Pretty soon, you’ll know a lot of their story. Maybe some people would find this too personal, but most everyone seems to respond well to 1) being complimented, and 2) being asked about themselves.
How was Bangkok?
If anyone asks me a direct question that involves me exposing my inner self then I would tell them to mind their business. If you must ask a generic question ensure it is open and does not allow a yes or no response and then you can launch into how what you are selling is not Amway!
Once someone asked me, “What do you do” and I said that I play a lot of guitar, I also like to cook, and do some photography when time permits. She said, “No, what do you do for a living?” I knew perfectly well what she meant but I hate when that’s the first thing that someone asks me. In fact, Miss Manners (and others) think it rude to ask about one’s livelihood because it gives the impression you are trying to evaluate what social class they are in and whether they are worthy of your attention.
I’m the other way. If I say “Hi, I’m Mika”, people invariably hear my name as “Amika” (my real name is very close to Mika). So I’ve made a point of always saying “Hi, my name is Mika,” to be more clear.
Only recently did it really occur to me how stupid people are. People really think I introduce myself by saying “Hi, Amika”? My own name?