He may have stolen this from somewhere else but last week my brother got the knock.
“Can I talk to you about jesus?”
“Yep!. But can I get your address because next week I want to come and talk to you about porn and beer, I like to share my hobbies too.”
Apparently they ran away VERY fast!
Master Wang Ka’s story is always a spot of sunshine and a welcome read.
I have found to get rid of unwanted guests ( JW’s or non JW’s) is put them to work.
We had 2.5 acres of rock strewn ground that needed to be raked before we could plant grass seed. This had been a 2 year half assed job. (We do not live in McMansionville, thank god.)
Up the driveway comes the nondescript minivan and out comes the JW Lady in her off the rack JC Penney’s dress circa 1981. It is Summer. It is hotter than hell and I have no shade on my property.
We did the polite chit chat ( this was not their first visit to Casa Ujest and as usual, I was alone.) All I could think of as they droned on about The World is in Bad Shape blah blah blah was, “Fuck, There are four extra pair of hands and I have four rakes. I bet between the five of us, they could get one pasture cleared of rock. or leave me the hell alone…”
I leaned against my rake, sweating my proverbial balls off, and said, " Look, you can talk all day about what you want but I need help raking up all these rocks…"
I must have had a level of desperate in my voice, but they were gone in a heartbeat.
Works on getting rid of shirt tale relatives, too.
I try to send all JW’s down the street to my evangelical SIL’s house . It’s been awhile since they’ve been here. I wonder if I can send them a postcard with a return address from down the street to ask for a visit.
They were actually incredibly naive about their religion. I think they get very narrow training - talk about what a terrible state the world is in, monopolize on people’s misfortunes and fears, and then tell them all about the magical person who not only can make them happy now, but provides justice and truth in the afterlife.
It’s been a while, but what I remember is that they were totally unaware that there are two accounts of creation in the bible, and they don’t match. Sure, some people will argue with you that they do in fact match (tortured logic follows), but at least they are aware of the issue. These people had no clue.
They also just assumed that the bible was self-evidently true. I asked them how they knew that - what extrinsic evidence shows it to be reliable? I believe I used my old example that I could write on a cocktail napkin, “This is the Word of God,” but that doesn’t make it true or believable. Again, they didn’t have a halfway decent answer. I’d expect an appeal to prophecy at least, but IIRC, they didn’t even pull out that old chestnut.
It was pretty clear they were used to dealing with people who have vague cultural notions of God and Christianity, but who have never once sat down and thought about what they believe, and whether things make sense. Confronted with a thoughtful atheist who had explored her beliefs, they were stymied.
I invited them in and pointed out the incorrect words in their bible, when they quoted scripture. They left after being shown about 10 different passages where their bibles had key words wrong.
I read their founding principles, and they are not what you’d expect from what you see today.
Had a knock on the door today, and experienced the JW’s latest format of door-to-door preaching.
Bloke stood on my doorstep, and asked what my views on parenting are. As I’m single and childless, I said I wasn’t one to really answer that kind of question (I leave such up to the experts). He asked if I had any views on the topic, and raised the dreadful recent cases of child abuse here in NZ. What can be done about it, he asked?
A minute or so into all this, I got suspicious. “And which organisation are you with?”
“Jehovah’s Witnesses.”
Ah ha.
Now, all this just appears sneaky, to my way of thinking. Why not just say up front, “Hi, we’re JWs!” so I can smile, say “No thanks”, and time is therefore saved (even if my soul is damned eternally to whatever hell they believe in).
“The Bible has the answers to all this,” the bloke said, still talking about the child abuse cases. “It’s not just a book …”
“Which parts of the Bible have the answers,” I asked. “The parts left in by those putting it together, or the parts left out because they were written by the other guys?” No real response to that one. At which point, because I (truthfully) was having a day at home today feeling less than well, and also (truthfully) I’d just opened a tin of soup I was looking forward to consuming, I said my goodbyes, and closed the door.
He was wearing a cool fedora, though, and long dark brown overcoat. I’ll give him points for that.
What 10 are those?
When I was in college I had a JW come to my door in my supposedly secure apartment building, a nice older lady. She started her spiel, and I politely interrupted her and told her I wasn’t interested. She went on about how a lot of people in school get into science and away from god, and I just said ‘yeah something like that’, and she left.
A week later I answered a knock at the door, and there was two very nicely dressed large men standing there. These guys were both easily a foot taller than me. One of them said ‘We understand that you were interested in discussing religion with the JWs, can we come in?’. I just told them I was busy, and closed the door. I was nervous for a while after that, cuz I didn’t know the JWs had enforcers.
**Harmonious Discord **, what words are you talking about? I would be interested in learning more about this, I can see it would be a good weapon.
Being the only white guy in south Florida has its advantages. The Converters who come to my door only speak Spanish, and though I can do the same it’s easy to pretend I don’t. My wife, who was born in South America but raised in the States and hates to speak Spanish, has a tougher time getting away from them.
About a week ago I came home from running some errands and there were 2 men standing on my porch. They had been knocking and no one answered, and they were just walking away as I pulled into the driveway.
I got out of the car and they walked over. They handed me a pamphlet and said, “We’re just handing these out in the neighborhood,” and walked away. Easiest I have ever gotten rid of any JW’s.
Of course, it must be very difficult for them, here in the heart of Mormondom.
My mom looooooooooooooooooooooves Mormon missionaries.
Those nice young men are (at least in our area) instructed to be helpful to the people they’re trying to convert. Particularly older ladies (and my mom is in her sixties). In the late spring through early fall (the only times my migratory parents are in my hometown and prime missionary season), my mom has lots and lots of heavy yardwork to do, and my dad is adept at avoiding helping her with it.
They’ll come by and ask if they can talk to her about their faith, and she’ll hand them a garden tool and say “Certainly you can, but I’m gardening today, so you’ll have to talk while we work”. She’ll even ask pertinent and thoughtful questions, just to show willing. She even gives them lunch and cold beverages. She finds Mormon missionaries to be an invaluable gardening tool.
I recall one summer (when I was in high school) when she was putting stone terraces into our yard. She had one set of missionaries she worked like dogs for the best part of a week before someone finally told them she was never, ever going to convert. The terraces are beautiful, though. Those boys did good work!
Same here with my condo in Orlando. They do knock at my door and ask if I know of any Spanish-speaking neighbors, though. Perhaps their English isn’t good enough to debate me, and I’ve been hankering to test out my skills for awhile.
That’s actually a very good question. I’ve been living here a bit over a year (15 months, to be precise), and I’ve been visited three times. Not extreme, IMHO, since I live in a large city with a lot of JW’s and several Kingdom Halls nearby. I’ve never, personally, had a Witness be as rude to me as people are describing in this thread (that is, as rude as posters are describing themselves being. Even in their high-fiving tales, the JW’s aren’t being rude at all, just bullied and out-intellectualized.) They’ve all been very polite and respectful, no one’s asked so much as a single “why not?” or pressed the issue in any way whatsoever.
ETA: I despise the Jehovah’s Witnesses for other reasons, don’t get me wrong. I think they’re evil and despicable and the world would not be a worse place for their sudden disappearance off this planet. But of all their many faults, they have never been rude to me.
I work at home and my office windows have a panoramic view of the front yard and driveway. When the JWs show up I don’t even go to the door. Come to think of it, haven’t seen them for a long time. (Of course now they’ll show up tomorrow.)
When I lived at home, I used to be polite. Which is probably why they kept coming back. One day I was really hung over and they woke me up, mind you it was probably about 10:00 A.M.
I just said “I’m not interested.” To which one of the old ladies replied “What you’re not interested in the bible?” To which I said “That’s right.”
I saw their jaws dropping as I closed the door and they never came back as far as i know.
Luckily my current surroundings seem to be immune to any and all sales people. Not enough housing density to make it worth while visiting.
I got over my “politeness” some time ago for even telephone solicitors. They’re invading my privacy. “Not interested. Thanks.” Click… hmmmmmmmmm.
Or just go to the door yourself and repeat that over and over.
What reasons?
What faults?
We’ve (you and I) already had this discussion in another thread and I don’t see the need to retread it here. To jog your memory: physical and sexual abuse victims being shunned while the abusers are sheltered from social and legal sanction.
jIH yImev jatlh DIvI’ Hol.
I’m not necessarily condoning the source site (some evangelical Christian deal), but here, about halfway down the page, is a list. From my own memory as a former Mormon missionary - who ended up debating JWs a lot - this is not a complete list, but it’s a pretty good one.
JWs will argue that the “missing” verses weren’t actually in the original manuscripts, but were added later by mistaken or corrupt scribes, and that the New World Translation is a true translation of the original texts.
shrugs
I have zero interest in debating a web site, especially one that is near unreadable. What are your thoughts? What do you know of the NWT?