What is the single greatest line in television history? {Please include context & Episode of the Series}

“What am I? Some sort of blind ghost with clothes?”

  • Geordi La Forge in the ST: TNG episode The Next Phase after Ensign Ro insists they are both dead and in the afterlife.

“There! Are! Four! Lights!”

  • ST: TNG: Chain of Command II: Final line of Picard to the Cardassian torturer who has been trying to get him to say that there are five lights as part of the process of breaking him.

“In your own words, this is not our affair. We cannot interfere in the natural course of your society’s development. And I’d say it’s going to develop significantly in the next few minutes.”

  • ST: TNG The Hunted. The context is a situation where the planetary ruler, who has been insisting that the situation is an “internal affair” and the Federation can’t interfere hypocritically begs Picard to intervene now that he’s surrounded by the armed people he’s been persecuting.

From the recent HBO mini-series DTF St. Louis:

That’s where all the dildos go…

Context: Peter Sarsgaard’s character explaining to two detectives why every suburban strip mall has a MailBoxes ETC. “Now, do you ever wonder why all these normal people who have homes out here need all these P.O. boxes? It’s for privacy. That’s where all the dildos go, sir. Mail Boxes Etc. They should call it ‘Dildos Etc.’”

“Yes you did, you invaded Poland!”

Moderating: i think we’ve beaten the dead pussy… I mean horse long enough. Please no more comments on that line.

Another poignant line from MASH:

“There are certain rules about war. The first rule is young men die. And rule number two is doctors can’t change rule number one.” Henry to Hawkeye, “Sometimes You Hear The Bullet”

Every morning before I step out the door to go to work: “Lisa, do I have my pants on?” Said by Homer Simpson as he is about to leave the house.

I mean, it’s The Simpsons, and it’s a one-liner, but what a line…

Speaking of the Simpsons:

“I know now what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and utter dependence!”

“Soylent Green is people!”

Charleton Heston + movie of the same

Agree with this. Gordon Jump will live forever because of this line.

Not a television quote, though.

I’ve seen Soylent Green on TV​:grin:
Oops, my bad.

I’m sad for anybody that didn’t immediately see that scene in their heads the second they read that line…

Similarly, in B5 when Sheridan (again) is being interrogated.

Capt. John Sheridan: You know, it’s funny, I was thinking about what you said, that the preeminent truth of our age is that you cannot fight the system. But if, as you say, the truth is fluid, that the truth is subjective, then maybe you can fight the system. As long as just one person refuses to be broken, refuses to bow down.

Interrogator: But can you win?

Capt. John Sheridan: Every time I say “no.”

“I am called Valen, and we have much work ahead of us.”

Another one from Babylon 5. I guess it seems like a pretty pedestrian line without the context.

“Space - the final frontier.”

If you need context, then I don’t know where you’ve been.

“Young lady, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!”

While I like “As God is my witness …” from WKRP, in my opinion, it is edged out by “‘To Serve Man…’ It’s a cookbook!” from the original Twilight Zone.

Can’t find clip, but… West Wing, Toby and Sam. “I don’t understand. Did you trip over something?”-----

Sam: Last week I accidentally slept with a prostitute.

Toby: A prostitue?

Sam: A call girl.

Toby: Accidentally?

Sam: Yes.

Toby: I don’t understand. Did you trip over something?

:smiley:

“Whatever you do, don’t mention the War! I did once, but I think I got away with it.”

In “The War of the Simpsons,” Homer and Marge go on a marriage retreat. The Flanderses are there too, and Ned is asked to reveal something that irritates him about his wife:

Ned: Maude, God blees her… She’s always marking passages in my bible instead of hers!

Homer: (Sotto voce) Humph! Good thing you don’t keep guns in the house!