This morning, Mrs. Magill asked me to ask our son’s daycare if they could hold onto his carseat tomorrow, so his grandparents could pick him up. I told her that they were unlikely to do that, but I’ll ask anyway. (I’m the husband - I do as I’m told.) She told me, “the worst they can say is no.”
That got me thinking. They could say, “You moron! How dare you ask that? No day care for you! One year!” “That stupid question! You die now!” is another possibility. I think it’s unlikely they’d say these, Mr. Jason, the director, is a pretty nice man. The point still stands though; there are a lot worse things they could say than “No.”
Now I turn to you all. What is the worst they could say?
“Congratulations! Yours was the fifth stupid question of the day, and your son has been chosen for our New Years ritual sacrifice. We’ll continue billing you for the rest of 2006.”
They could say, “We were happy to help you out, Mr. Maus. Feel free to ask anytime. By the way, your dad sure doesn’t look very old but he’s a little forgetful, isn’t he? He didn’t know your son’s name, just pointed and asked if he could have “that one.” And I don’t know why you wanted us to keep the car seat. Mr. Itchy doesn’t drive, he just took your son and wandered off into the woods over there…”
That’s a little too much, isn’t it? If so, I’m sorry. How about:
“Sure, Mr. Magill. Hey, a car seat? You really go overboard on the safety thing, don’t you? No wonder your kid’s such a wimp in the death-cage matches.”
Or even just:
“What’s this crazy thing?”
Felicitations to you, Mrs., and up-and-coming Mause, and the grandparents as well. May your son grow up and grow old knowing the world as a just, safe and endlessly entertaining place. Merry Christmas and/or Happy Hannukah and/or please accept my very best regards and wishes in the best spirit of the coldest month.
This just baffles the shit out of me. That is a common request in a day-care or at least it is in the one my daughter goes too. With these types of things, you have to think about what business these people are in and what type of things other customers are likely to ask of them. Ask a hotel to hold onto your luggage for a while after you have checked out? Sure, that is a very common need of their customers.
Parents often need to leave the car seat for this very reason. I did it last week. Why on earth would they say no to something like that and how would they phrase it? They just throw the thing in a corner or closet. It doesn’t cause anyone discomfort.
Don’t tempt me. They were supposed to come Friday evening - meaning we could have a GI party Friday morning to make the hose ready. We found out yesterday they were coming a day early and are bringing some other guests.
I can think of some really dark answers to this that are orders of magnitude worse than anything posted so far, but I think posting them would be contrary to both board rules and common decency.
What’s a GI party? One with lots of returning troops? One where the digestive system is celebrated? And what preparations have to be done with the hose? Do the leaks need to be mended, or something? And what would that have to do with soldiers or your food metabolism? I’m confused, here.
I’m afraid you’ll have to take my word for it, or not - either way, they’ll be staying beneath the trapdoor in my brain. People think bad things when I let these monsters out for exercise.
Despite having finally won, I still have many, many battle scars from the Dating Wars. “No” was pretty devastating all on its own, without any embellishment.
A GI party is basically a house cleaning party. Top to bottom. Everyone works. No lolly-gagging. It was a term my father would use. In college, my Fraternity would hold regular Saturday morning GI parties - particularly before mixers and parents’ day.
As to the hose - well, that’s a product of spell-check checking the words I wrote, rather than the words I meant to write.