I encountered this on the IMDB forum for Arnold Schwarzenegger. It seems to be written by someone whose first language is not English. The particular nature of the mispellings catches my eye - besides being very funny, certain words are mispelled in a very peculiar way:
As a one time fan and admirer of Arnold Schwarzenegger, certain special document and secrets have been called to my attention and thus, have ruined him in my eye. As a youthful boy growing up in the seventh sector of Louisiana, the French sector, I grew with Cajuns who watched his material with such pension. I watched his moves ferociously and idolized his. As a boy, I viewed the terminators, the kummondoo, and cunan the bountarian. This is the man who created the terminator, and Jake copper from kingdom cup. He was a role model to people all over the bijou, and the satanic causeway. But now, everything is different. I read interviews in which Harold reveals himself to be a lecherous, finthy, gum-bag with no moral, no virtue, or anything whatsoever. On the web, I read an interview from the 70’s, and it’s so disgusting and shows what a farce this man is! He’s nothing more than a big, dub-ox; a Bolshevik bully who is as mean as a slime. In the interview, Arnold candidly talks about drugs, sex, homosex, and group sex. The man clearly has oral fixations. He says that he had groan sex with one black prostitute, and seven, oiled lariats with giant muscles when he was a competition. Then the men enclosed, took turns working with their privates on the female. How disgusting! He also spoke attentively about the fervor that comes with pumping iron rods. “When we got together after the workouts, we would all go into the shower.” Says Arnold. “We would build up such a fervor and get erections. We would go into the shower and pump off each other and pull our ax handles.” I couldn’t believe the print; the disgusting image, and vile splotch. I nearly cried when I reads this. Arnold also talks ago getting juiced on his reed by prostitutes and groaning with women and men in orgies. He also spoke about tantalizing with PCP, Benzedrine, DDT, Steroid, Endocrun, and various hallucinogenic dregs. He went on to speak of his daddy, Hogarth Schwarzenegger. He was a member of the Nazi party, a co-cuspidor, and also an affiliate of the KISA (knights of Satan’s army). So, that’s why Arnold had always been obsessed with power. In Colifornia, his grim political agenda have hurt many people. Have you wandered why the man owns B-70 tanks, kendoskeletons, and B-bombs on his property? It’s because, I theorize, that he has unknown agendas to dominate the zenate and eventual seize. It’s quite possible. When they dug dirts on him during his run for governor, it was proven that he has stakes in the south eastern hemisphere, as well as in Zansabar. He stood behind president as they deployed troops into Moronica. It’s deacause of his SMEAR campaign. The misinformation he produces are astonishing. He is an egomaniac; greasy, wind burg politician. He is in an evil CORP with president. He cheats on his wife, too. That big rotter.
The first instinct, due to his comment about Louisiana, is to assume that his first language is French. Is this likely? He has good command over the English syntax, but “kummondoo?” “Kendoskeletons?” “Co-cuspidor?” “Cunan the Bountarian?” What could be compelling him to spell these words this way?
