The other day I was in the grocery store and they played that “If you like pina coladas” song. Damn! In this day and age, does anyone still believe that people want to listen to that piece of crap? I’m surprised no one ran screaming out of th store!
… or only their record company is. A lot of these were one-hit wonders by performers who probably sold their souls for their recording contract.
I’ve been reading Robert Fripp’s online diary WAY too long to believe that the performers are seeing much money out of these.
I came here to mention both Honey and Seasons In The Sun, so i can only second those monstrosities. I’d like to mention also** Yummy Yummy Yummy (I’ve Got Love In My Tummy)** by the 1910 Fruit Gum Co. I have nightmares where this song is the soundtrack.
Just to make you sicker, how about “Honey, Honey” by the Archies?
Her name was lola…she was a show girl…
Everybody was kungfu fightin’
Awesome toe tappin’ tunes!
Are you sure you don’t mean “Sugar, Sugar”?
I was partial to “Jingle, Jangle”.
I know Norman Greenbaum has made a decent living for the last 35 years just his one hit wonder, “Spirit in the Sky”.
What else does Fripp talk about?
From the first time I heard it, I hated Whitney Houston’s cover of I Will Always Love You.
A string of repeated flat notes, belted out loudly. How she got so popular absolutely escapes me (ymmv, of course).
And the winner is:
We Are The World
by Not-the-Bandaid (forgotten if they ever gave themselves a name - wouldn’t imagine they’d want to)
Tell me about it. I saw an interview with Dolly Parton and she was asked what she thought about Whitney’s slaughtering, uh, version of her classic song. Dolly kinda fumbled around the subject saying something about how she was glad it sold over 6 million copies. Ka-ching!
I don’t know if I can pinpoint the absolute worst song I’ve ever heard, but off the top of my head, the first thing that comes to my mind is Jan Hammer’s “Oh Yeah.” (Which is a shame, because he also did the soundtrack to Beyond the Mind’s Eye, which I love.)
There was this song, I think it was big in '98 or '99, and it was called Blue. I loathed this song, even more because it was repetitive enough that it got stuck in your head.
I worked at a popular nightclub in my area at the time and every night the DJ would send out “This special song to our special lady Poysyn, because she loves it so much.”
UGH!
I can’t remember the group, but it was a horrible, horrible song.
Did it have a guy singing “Oh yeah” over and over again in a deep voice? That may have been Yello. That song was used in Ferris Bueller (amongst others).
But… but… those kicks were fast as lightning! It fact it was a little bit frightening.
This one qualifies
Dear God, the earplugs do NOTHING! ! !
Some PAINFUL, PAINFUL songs listed here. Honorable mention out to Lil’ Markie, and EVERYTHING in the list of Kilvert’s Pagan.
However, the absolute WORST song is “Break my stride” by Matthew Wilder
http://www.80smusiclyrics.com/artists/matthewwilder.htm
(shudder) The horror. . . The HORROR! ! !
A co-worker was involved in a student film project back in college for which he wrote and perfromed one of the songs. It was inspired by a scene from the film Northwest Passage, in which a starving cavalry soldier kills an Abenaki indian, cuts off his head, then cooks and eats it. The song (which he sang for me yesterday) went something like this:
One night in bed
I told my wife I wanted head
“What kind should it be?”
“Roasted Abenaki.”
Some very worthy candidates so far (whoever first mentioned Honey, damn you to hell). But what of the song that spawned a group that formed the basis of the whole karaoke thing? And won the Eurovision song contest with it! I refer of course to Waterloo by Abba. I’m so confident of victory here that I won’t even mention the dreck that followed Ring Ring, Mama Mia, Fernando, Money Money Money from the prolific pens of Bjorn and Benny.
I stand by my nomination in many similar conversations of Guns ‘n’ Roses covering “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.” It’s one thing to write a terrible song and play it badly; it’s quite another to take a great one and butcher it to bloody shreds. And this goes on for much too long, too. This is the only song I’ve ever heard that I think should be legally considered a crime again humanity.
The last time we had Ralph Stanley doing a show for the music series I used to volunteer for, his band featured his son, Ralph II. Ralph II looked and sounded like the alcoholic frontman for the sort of third-tier country bar band that isn’t even worth chucking a beer bottle at, but he led more than half the show.
At one point, Ralph Sr. rambled on for what seemed like five minutes about how beautiful Ralph II’s upcoming song was, how it was the most beautiful song he’d ever heard, he cried when he first heard it, etc. Then Ralph II proceeded to give us “Daddy Took His Dinner Bucket Through the Gates of Heaven”. The audience sat politely. The volunteers, all music nerds, just looked at each other like there was some huge joke we weren’t getting. We were unanimous that it was, by a longshot, the worst song any of us had ever heard.
I have still not heard its equal, and that was five years ago.
AHHHHHHHhhhhhhh :eek: