SAN (Storage Area Network) Engineer. I manage fibre channel storage networks, storage arrays, etc. Over a petabyte of data.
When I tell people I work in storage, many think I am moving boxes around in a warehouse somewhere. Kind of the same thing, but my boxes are data and my warehouse are large arrays.
My profession is career lab monkey, apparently, but I am trying to branch out.
I am a:
Firefighter.
Paramedic.
Police Fire/Arson Investigator.
Police Telecommunications Equipment Specialist.
Network Administrator.
Technology Purchasing Manager.
Police Technology Consultant.
General Pain in the Ass.
I program video slot machines for a living. You’ll probably lose. 
I am a Level 2 (soon to be Level 3) Tutoring coach for a large tutoring center chain. I supervise about a half dozen or so kids who work on computers with special tutoring software, answering questions, keeping kids motivated and giving lots of praise. The pay and hours are really low, but the job is a blast. I enjoy it so much I’m going to apply to be a Director (manager) and try and apply my two years of experience towards being the boss man for a change
I also work as a Crossing Guard. Very easy job, albeit dull at times. Good pay for what amounts to standing around 2 hours a day.
On mondays, I teach beginner piano. Get to teach little 5 and 6 year-olds how to play the piano. Lots of fun, and the pay is good for the time spent. Trying to get more students, since more students=more money. Job has its ups and downs, if people don’t show, I don’t get paid, and had to deal with quite a few flaky parents last year.
Finally, I am a full-time student on top of all that. Should be getting my Bachelor’s degree in English. Everybody keeps asking me, “Are you going to be a teacher?” thinking I studied English with a specific job in mind. Not quite, I took it because it was a FUN major! I’m a good ‘on-the-job’ learner, so anything that says “someone with a BA degree” I’ll give it a shot. That way, if I get sick of something, I can always do something else; for me school was mostly learning for my own personal benefit, not some 4 year ticket to some job I may hate after 2 months.
Just for this year, I am a law clerk in the legal department of a large Australian university. I put up with the various personality disorders of the lawyers for a little pay and a cubicle of my own.
Next year, I go back to doing two-and-a-half degrees at the same uni. I anticipate that I’ll be finished around the year 2076.
I also volunteer at a community legal centre. I’ve been doing that for about four years now. That feels a hell of a lot more like my real job than my paid one does…
I run a large petrochemical facility.
Before I got pregnant, I was a preschool teacher and I worked in a retail store. Now I am a housewife. In just two and a half months, I’ll be a stay-at-home mommy. I think that will be my favorite and most challenging job yet. 
I have been working as a sort of “internal consultant for how to use the computer programs” for the last three years.
It basically consists of
I’m a Health Economist.
Another SAHM checking in.
When my kids are in school full time, two more years, I will be qualified to handle conflict, negotiate hostage situations, Major and Minor Trauma’s (to carbon based life forms and the plastic kind) Theater & Dramatic Arts, Foriegn Language (babble) studies, Crowd Control, Contagious Disease Containment, Diplomacy Skills that would resolve every conflict in the universe.
Sadly, this qualifies me to work at McDonald’s.
I’m for the time being a credit card financial risk analyst for a major hospitality company - my day consists of reviewing reports for fraudulent transactions, answering phones, gathering evidence for fraud investigations.
Soon though I will be working as an assistant controller for one of our properties.
Currently, I serve as the Coordinator of Campus Life at a branch of Arkansas State U. That wonderfully non-descriptive title just means that I’m the special events coordinator and in charge of conference services. I get to do a lot of catering stuff (decor, not food), as well as some cool theatre/performance booking and tech work. I’m a competent sound and light guy, as well as a decent DJ.
I also have a lucrative sideline as an etiquette consultant and guest lecturer.
None of these things have anything at all to do with my educational background, in case you wanted to know.
You must not have met my mom yet. 
She has a knack for sniffing out the winners. Or else she’s found a way to get around the programming. Not bad for a 78-year-old.
Quality assurance manager & technical support for the dominant telco on the east coast. I am responsible for 10 major accounts (companies who buy a large amount of high speed data transport lines from us) and my job is to respond to the client when they are pissed-off about our service and cut through the bureaucracy to make things happen. So I really work for the client, but my paycheck comes from the phone company.
Like Crafter Man, I used to be hands-on until my boss decided that my ass-kissing skills warranted a promotion to the front lines of customer relations.
When I’m not being yelled at for our shoddy service, I spend the day watching all of your datagrams zipping around the northeast part of the country. And some of you should be ashamed of yourselves
Coolest part of my job: I’m expected to be available 24×7 so it really doesn’t matter whether I’m in the office or at home. As long as my clients can reach me via my pager, I’m doing my job.
Worst part of my job: I am expected to be available 24×7, and my clients can page me at any time and make me do my job.
It’s all about long-run probability. Before a game goes out I play several hundred million games (in an automated way, in various game configurations) to make sure the return statistically matches the math payout. Which is typically from 89-97%.
I wouldn’t recommend playing slots for a living. But it can be a fun pastime.
Vlad/Irog:
I’m half serious. I would like to get out of being a technician, but I need to stay at this job for at least a year before I can quit, professional courtesy and all. Of course, when I quit this job I’ll probably just get another technician job, because only one year experience isn’t all that much, but I don’t like the company I work for. We’re a third party, so there’s a lot of crap to deal with from my bosses, the hospital admisistration, nurses, doctors, and the medical device companies. If I get a job where I am actually employed by the hospital itself, I can eliminate one group of those people…and it’s the worst group there, too.
Compliance officer for a well known American credit card company
I’m a student of veterinary medicine. If all goes well in the preliminary medical exam, I’ll be in my third year soon.
Hey BadBadger, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, I finally got a job doing risk and process analysis at probably the same well-known American credit card company. Any chance you work in the New York hub?