My family just returned from our annual jaunt to my husband’s hometown of Pittsville (brief pause for jokes), Wisconsin. While there we attended the Central Wisconsin Fair at Marshfield, WI. Up front I’d like to say that I did do things there other than eat. We checked out the cows – my favorites are the Jerseys with their sweet brown faces. Also, we watched the pigs being judged – one sucker looked like he had 6 foot of bacon along each side! And I saw a beautiful rooster and several chickens who looked to be having bad hair days. We saw lots of neat handicrafts and some big ol’ tomatoes and zuchinis, and sat in on day two of the judging for the Fairest of the Fair. And that evening we went to a Mel Tillis concert that was surprisingly enjoyable. He did a pretty cool big-bandish version of “Orange Blossom Special” that I quite liked. But mostly, I admit, I went for the food.
I started out with a cream puff. That was breakfast. They served either vanilla or cranberry – I went for vanilla. Next, I had a serving of deep-fried cheese curds. Damn, those are good! One of the stands had the white kind battered with beer batter – the best deep fried cheese curds available anywhere! Then I had a corn dog, because you’ve gotta have tubular meat at a State Fair and I don’t do bratwurst (see below for “Things Jess DID NOT eat at the Fair.”) I had the foot long version because Fair corn dogs are the best and also because a foot long corn dog looks pretty cool. Then, I had a second cream puff – after I bought the plain vanilla one I regretted not going for the cranberry. Wisconsin is the biggest grower of cranberries in the US, after all. And the cranberry cream puff was good. Then I had a giant frozen lemonade because I was thirsty. Then another helping of deep fried cheese curds because they don’t have those in Virginia. Then an ear of roasted sweet corn, because I thought I needed a vegetable. By then I was thirsty again, so I had a beer. Then a second beer because the first one tasted so darned good. Then it was time for dessert. I had Turtle Donuts – you know those little donuts they fry up while you watch? They pile 15 of those in a bowl, then drizzle them with caramel sauce and chocolate sauce and sprinkle them with crushed nuts. Good, good good. They were also serving a bowl of donuts covered with hot blueberry sauce and whipped cream. Maybe next year. Finally, I shared a bag of Kettle Corn with my mom and daughter during the concert. I was still full the next morning.
Things Jess DID NOT eat at the Fair: Some things I like but are just too common – I can have pizza anytime, why waste tummy space on it when so many more exotic selections were available? Some things I’ve tried before and once was really enough – deep-fried Twinkies or candy bars, for instance. Other things were just too strange – who the hell thought of deep frying sweet corn? I mean, dipping it in corn dog batter and deep frying it? I saw one lady eating it and asked how it was. She said, “Weird. And not in a good way.” And I never eat bratwurst, even though it’s pratically the Wisconsin State Food. I like hot dogs fine, but bratwurst is just too… chunky. I like my lips and assholes ground finer, I guess.
Well, that deep fried corn cob sounds like a corn fritter. I think it sounds good.
I haven’t had “fair food” this year. But in a few weeks, we’re going to the beach and I’ve been looking forward to some fried dough all summer. That reminds me of a good poll. . .
LA County Fair starts this week.
Indian Fry Bread. You can have yours with honey, like a sopapilla or powdered sugar or whatever, but I pile mine up with chili, cheese and lettuce for what they call an “indian taco”. But that’s after the barbeque.
I’m in awe. This is truly an impressive feat of gluttony. What was the total time difference between the first cream puff and the kettle corn? Dare I even ask how much all that fair food cost? $50?
Now I see what is dreadfully wrong with our fairs - the Danish icecreams are about the only thing worth eating, the rest is uninteresting plastic food. I want to try everything you ate now.
Gawd, I’d kill for deep fried cheese curds. I can’t believe I still live in this cultural wasteland. Ohhh, they try to wow you with their sushi and their five star Thai cuisine and their fancy imported cheese shops, but they ain’t got no fried cheese curds out here. They barely have plain cheese curds; they aren’t reliably available in the supermarket (or the fancy imported cheese shop, consarnit.).
Oooh, jealous. Ours isn’t until next month (although I have to go, as I’m putting a piece of cross-stitch in this year - how’s that for country?) And I can’t go without eating an elephant ear. When I think about the fair I smell elephant ears with that little tiny olfactory tinge of vomit and garbage. Mmmm.
Here you can also get a deep fried turkey leg. Ick. And you can see the giant pile of them in that trailer thing with the fans on them to pretend to keep the flies off. Last time I went my companions insisted on getting them. Eeew.
Elephant ears are where it’s at. The cherry kind. And corn dogs, although it’s also required that you get mustard on yourself if you eat one.
Oh, and the fried mushrooms are pretty good even though I hate mushrooms normally.
And you have to have a caramel apple.
And cotton candy, of course.
And the french fries right out of the grease are pretty good, too.
And then let’s go on the centrifugal force rides! :eek:
You know it’s a good description when someone on a different continent, with no idea what half that stuff is, is suddenly overcome with a burning desire to eat their way through all of it…
Well, I didn’t finish the donuts (I made it through 13 of them but just couldn’t finish the last two. And it was more like 1/4 bag of Kettle Corn – I shared it with my mom and daughter, and we still had some left at the end of the concert. Plus the sweet corn and the second order of deep fried cheese curds. We got to the fair at around noon-ish and the concert was over at ~10:00… So that’s what? A bit less than 10 hours. I also should have mentioned that we had donuts for breakfast before we left for the fair. I ate two of those – the Pittsville Bakery makes lovely donuts. I had a Bismark (sort of a raised cinnamon roll with white icing and peanuts) and a powdered sugar cake donut.
I know, I know. I’m ashamed of myself. And I’m sure it all cost at least $35 and maybe more – I was also buying food for one daughter and one husband (who ate lightly) and one 18 year old son who ate more than I did, believe it or not, so I’m not sure of the exact total. It’s a good thing I don’t live in Wisconsin!
