What Kind of Porn Would Jesus Watch?

Wood would smite any offending orfices in the county, that’s what wood would do.

He’d probably watch some chick masturbating herself, then doing the same thing to thy – er, her – neighbor.

I dunno, didn’t the dude say something about “coming not to bring off a piece, but my sword?” Some kinda reluctance fantasy or somethin’… Probably a lot of money shots in that video.

“I…don’t know how to love him…”

So was Judas. Gay porn anyone?

Jesus Christ Superstud

He was a group addict.

Not much - Revelations 22:20.

:smiley:

…there has to be a good “turn the other cheek” joke in here somewhere.

Should we change the beatitudes to say “blessed be the priapic…”?

A two-hour compilation of immaculate conceptions.

Schoolgirl Marys

Threesomes.

Father, Son and Holy Ghost?

Homosexual inscest necrophilia?

Solid gold! Or gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Your choice.

Wow. We’re all going to hell, but I think you’ll be at the head of the line… :stuck_out_tongue:

“…and a dirty old man shall lead them.” :wink:

anti-snuff, people rise from the dead and then get laid…

I’n not that old! :stuck_out_tongue:

It would be gay justifying the motto In God We Thrust.

Maybe a party with two hot Lilys in the field, but first he’d wash their feet.

Then there’s that steamy scene with the woman taken into adultery with her pitcher. Jesus, look at that high hard one! Then he puts a slider into the dirt! Oh, Jesus! Oh, Jesus! Oh, pitcher! Gimme the screwball! Walk me, baby!