-I’m pretty unemotional, and when I am, I usually don’t show it. I didn’t cry when I got the news that my grandpa had cancer a few weeks ago. I was upset though, but didn’t show it outwardly at all.
-I do the “stolen glances” thing. I had no idea that creeped people out (that much)…or that they even noticed (that much). It’s usually because I find them attractive or interesting. I want to observe people before I approach them. Only once or twice I thought of something violent while doing the stolen glancing, and it was for a REASON!
-I’m almost never sit or stand still, I didn’t know that was a sign of creepiness.
What needs to be done is a psychological study. Get a bunch of women who feel that they can spot threats and then pair them up with a variety of men (ie, have a speed dating test where the women carry on 3 minute conversations with a bunch of men) and make at least half of the men ex cons, child molesters, serial rapists and whatnot without telling the women that this is a psychological study, just tell them it is a speed dating setup. Then afterwards guage the women on who they were creeped out by and who they weren’t creeped out by. See if the women scored higher than chance in picking out the truly threatening. To make the subject even more interesting add in a bunch of harmless guys with bad social skills and a bunch of serial rapists with excellent social skills and see who the women are more creeped out by.
I doubt anyone has ever gotten a grant for that kind of psychological project though. But it sounds like fun.
You don’t have a real clear concept of how a scientific study works, do you?
I think we may be conflating several things. I can usually detect awkwardness or limited social skills and it’s a distinct concept from ‘creepiness’. I’m probably not in the ninetieth percentile as far as social skills go (I hope people don’t find ME creepy, but I’ve certainly never heard myself described as such.) Sometimes people have diminished social skills and are uncomfortable to be around - not because they’re creepy, but because it’s too hard to maintain a normal conversation with people who aren’t fully capable of holding up their end. I certainly don’t mean those people when I describe creepiness.
Also, overt sexual aggression - guys leering or making completely inappropriate comments - is something that’s been cited, but that’s distinct from awkward-creepy and probably-gonna-kill-me-creepy. That’s obviously something volitional and obviously I hope no one is foolish enough to suggest that we give those guys a second shot.
When I describe myself as having been creeped out by the guy I mentioned in my first post in the thread, it’s a feeling that coexisted with my actually enjoying his company because we had some things in common and he was a genuinely funny guy with most of his social skills intact. None of those things stopped him from giving across a vaguely unsettling vibe to me. I don’t know if everyone has those experiences. But I would say that the overtly-sexually-agressive-creepy guy and the awkward-creepy guy are separate and distinct from the probably-gonna-kill-me-creepy and there’s probably some relationship between these phenomena but in my case at least, I definitely make a distinction between these three. So I don’t think that I at least am unfairly prejudging people who just don’t happen to have normal social skills.
**threemae ** and Wesley Clark, I have a creepy guy update especially for you.
Creepy guy has been lurking near my table today, doing god knows what at a table immediately behind where I sit. One of my coworkers noticed this, and asked me out of the blue if I knew the guy’s name or what he was doing. I said I knew he was from the math department, but not his name. So the coworker said “He’s really odd.”
“Creepy?” I and the friend who discussed him before asked. (the three of us were eating lunch together, ftr)
“Yes! Very creepy.” Said the coworker. “I bet I can ask one of the building managers who he is.”
So the coworker does that, and later reports back. “Hey, they were discussing how creepy he was just this morning, so it’s not just us who gets that sense from him.”
Know what? The coworker who brought him up today and the building manager who had also been noting his creepiness are both men. Apparently people with penises find him creepy too.
As you well know, the plural of anecdote is not data. However, the plural of anectdote could be for all I know.
Overall I see more creepy patients now. But that is also skewed by the fact that I see almost no women or children. And keep in mind that 20% of my patients have serious mental illness. I think guys have a higher creepy quotient overall, too.
And when I do see a creepy patient, I believe they are often orders of magnitude creepier than your creepy patient on the outside.
But 90% of my patients don’t give me creepy vibes in my office setting in prison. In my old private patient population I’d say that number was more like 98% non-creepy (wild-ass guess).
Out of 13 patients I saw this morning, only one was creepy to me. Of course he was asking to be placed on estrogen. :rolleyes:
Of course, I’m the boss, so I make my underlings see the really creepy ones, like the guy who’s been stuffing carrots up his urethra.
i find some one who is very drunk to be just as dangerous as the guy on the street screaming and violently gesturing. even more dangerous if there are a group of very drunk people.
having seen the police arrive at frat houses numerous times, and the expierence of some women who were in them, i just stay far away. i’ll avoid such a house, as i would a dark alley, or any area i find threatening.
the problem is when drinking is in the mix, people tend to do things that they wouldn’t do sober or just a tad tipsy.
Dude. I don’t have the equipment, and I’m crossing my legs. :eek:
scratches head For the OP, I’d have to say that a certain person I knew came off as creepy because they, ah, had that air. Sorta like a dog that you knew would roll over and whine at the least sign of assertiveness, and not in the good way. I could get those vibes just from them sitting quietly in the same room, and I’m not sure why, because others didn’t share the same impressions.
Wesley Clark doesn’t seem to grasp what is being discussed here. Creepy is not necessarily dangerous. I’ve been creeped out by LOTS of people who I don’t actually think would ever cause me harm. They just cause me to feel really, really uncomfortable.
Creepy was this older guy in the Jackson Wyoming airport a couple of weeks ago. He stared straight at me, with a faint smile on his face. I made eye contact and then I looked away. When I looked back, he was still staring. Five minutes later, still staring. That’s creepy.
That is creepy. Creepy would also be if he followed you onto or off of a train or you switched seats and so did he…
I saw a creepy guy in the grocery store today–I had run into (literally) another woman’s cart and we both laughed and said something about needing traffic signals etc. The smile was still on my face as I looked around–this guy caught my eye and smiled too (he was too far away to see what had happened) and then he proceeded to move his cart towards me, while keeping eye contact. I broke contact almost immediately, but could feel his eyes on me. He got closer to my cart and looked like he was going to say something, but I moved swiftly down another aisle. He did not follow, thank goodness. I hate that.
Although it’s been mentioned tangentially a few times, I feel compelled to remind everyone here that many of the behaviours mentionned here as “creepy” are associated with autism spectrum disorders. Just off the top of my head:
-inability / aversion to maintaining eye contact
-muted /absent facial expression
-unusual tonality / modulation of speech
-untrendy / geeky manner of dressing or appearance
There are many people who are either sub-clinical autistic, high-functionning autistic, or asperger syndrome who successfully maintain a career and live independantly.
Since folks on the spectrum can often have gifts in manipulating and understanding abstract concepts such as computer progrtamming code or higher math, and Elfkin’s person is in a math dept., I would strongly suspect he’s on the spectum.
One thing to remember: even though spectrum people may not be able to read or convey emotion, they still ***have ***them. They can still be sad, feel hurt, or depressed. Many have described their perspective as being as though all Neuro-typical people had a secret form of ESP they can’t hear, which they say is very frustrating and alienating.
So please try to be kind to them. In a couple of decades, my son will be one of them. I love him more than life itself, and I’m afraid for him, when I read stuff like this.
