I guess this discussion can go both ways, to those who want to answer, as these type of things tend to get hijacked.
However, since I am a male, I am gearing the following question towards the ladies.
To clarify, I am looking for the answers to the above, in light of an example situation such as:
[li]You are at a bar or party. What would you be looking for, in a person, that would make you take intial action to introduce yourself to someone you knew nothing about?[/li]
[*]After you have met this person at the bar or party, and you have talked them for 15 to 30 minutes, tops, what factors would determine whether you wanted to keep on talking to them, to see the person again, and / or <ahem> get jiggy with 'em?
If I saw a big, tall guy with a kind and intelligent face looking my way with a little smile on his face, maybe a little moustache/goatee thing going on, I’d do the eye thing: look right at him, look down, then up through my lashes and smile just the tiniest bit. I rarely take as bold a step as introducing myself cold. If the eye thing didn’t work, I’d remain in his line of sight for a while. I like men who are confident and open, so this is important. When he does come over and we talk, I look for humor and warmth. And if he is strong-looking and happy, I could see me wanting to see more of him. If he smells good, has a clear blue-eyed gaze(although warm brown is good, too)and asks for my phone number, I’d give it to him. What would make me give it up to him? That happy chemical accident combined with my hormones all being in the right place, his being a good kisser and me feeling safe. That’s a rare thing, but the great big(200+), tall(6 feet+), strong-looking man has the best chance with me on a purely physical level.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by MagicalSilverKey *
[li]You are at a bar or party. What would you be looking for, in a person, that would make you take intial action to introduce yourself to someone you knew nothing about?[/li]
[li]After you have met this person at the bar or party, and you have talked them for 15 to 30 minutes, tops, what factors would determine whether you wanted to keep on talking to them, to see the person again, and / or <ahem> get jiggy with 'em? ;)[/li][/QUOTE]
I would be looking for someone moderately confident and very kind, but not so kind as to indulge a poor fool. I’d also want someone who wasn’t about bullshit at all.
Physical “requirements” I won’t go into because I’ve realized that, as much as I’m attracted most to one very specific type of person, most girls are attractive to me, so the physical doesn’t matter very much.
It would take me being in love with someone for me to sleep with them. But I’d talk to just about anyone who was nice.
Seriously. I realised this one last week whenI was sitting at a bus stop and watching a guy that I knew I wanted to run my hands all over. For a long period of time. And talk to about his opinions on everything.
He was nothing too special to look at and seemedto have negitive fashion sense.
Didn’t matter.
I’m still thinking of just how I want to pet his fingers, caress his shoulders…
Okay…so, confidence seems to be the major determining factor.
[li]What do you look for, that constitutes as confidence, if you don’t know the person? In other words, how may one convey confidence, prior to introduction to a stranger?[/li]More importantly, how may one convey confidence without overdoing / underdoing it?
The best way to illustrate confidence is to make the first move yourself. If you see a girl eyeing you, go up to her.
Before that?
Standing against the wall, alone, kind of shifting to the music DOES NOT convey confidence. Laughing, having conversation, being part of a group, those are all good indicators.
So, let’s pretend that Jane Doe is checkin me out from across the room. Is there a timing to making to making my move? Should I (a)immediately go to her? (b)let her play eye-tag with me for a few momentss, to be certain she is sending me a signal, then go to her?
timing is sooooo important. play eye tag for a couple of minutes, but don’t wait too long, cause then you start heading toward the wall-flower thing. the end.
also, don’t forget to take a hint. the end to the sequel.
