If.she.can’t.stop.talking.Oh.yeah.One.time.my.friend.and.I.were.talking.about.her.cat.and.I.said.blabber.blabber.yack.yack.cackle.cackle.yammer.yammer…
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
I enjoy conversation as much as anyone, but I have to be allowed to actually take part in it. Fer chrissake, I don’t want to know that your son has herpes and your other son drinks too much before I’ve even told you what I do for a living.
Speaking as a male, I just stay inside my head most of the time. I have had the same commute for about 2 1/2 years. One day, I decided to pay attention to what was actually noteworthy on my commute. That opened up a whole new world. I had never noticed 80% of it and there were some nice restaurants and attractions that had alluded my brain all that time. I just don’t notice many, many things and my brain is doing one thing while my body is doing another most of the time. I think females focus on the outside world more than males do. We have lots of beautiful pictures and other decorations given to us all over our house. If you put them in a police style line-up, my success rate of identifying which ones were from my house would border on chance especially if they were matched by similar things.
You can hear it in track six from this No Doubt album. And as much as I also dislike both the word “hella” and the band No Doubt, that song is pretty catchy.
Since I am diving back into the dating scene there is a couple that have come up…
Being a gamer. I had a really bad experience with one of my past relationships where he made it his life. Meaning our dates were limited on days that he didn’t have “matches”. On our 3 year anniversary, we had to cut our date short because he had a tourny at 7pm. When I start dating someone new and they tell me that they are a “gamer” I find out to what extent. If they are obsessed, it’s a deal breaker. Just not my thing.
Someone that can’t live in the moment. I understand that there are alot of shy people, I get that. Though if we are in the admits of a romantic moment and he just stares at me waiting for me to make the first move, not going to work for me. I understand people are shy, but I am giving all the hints. Leaning in. Eye contact. Stopped talking… duh… I have no problem making the first move, but not the second, third, forth, etc. Gets dull.
Oh and the above scenario when it is obvious there is a kiss about to happen and they ask for permission. To me, completely ruins the mood.
Bad kissers are out. I am 30. I am done teaching.
Smokers
I once went out with a guy who had an onion allergy. When I thought about it, the day after our date, I realized that this was a deal-breaker for me. I did not want to spend the rest of my life only going out to the one restaurant that scours a pan and the grill especially for him, nor did I want to change my cooking style, not when I’m just discovering new foods and flavors! I was glad when he never called for a second date, because I would have felt bad having to say no, since he can’t really help it.
One of my co-workers uses extraneous quote marks around words…like on a PostIt that read…Shipment will be delivered “Saturday”…if she were a guy I was dating, and did that…it’d be all over.
Huh- the only people I ever hear using it here (which is rarely), it’s someone from California.
Wait…so after the second date, he calls you the next day because he thinks he might have left his wallet at your place, so you’d break up with him? 
Oh yes, the leave behind. You don’t want to end up dating George Costanza do you?
I used to be grossed out by open-mouthed chewers but then I fell in love with one. Likewise smokers, and people who can’t spell or use punctuation properly. Oh well. I got over it.
I can’t date belligerent drunks (which are much more common than you’d imagine), or people who are rude or aggressive to anyone, or someone who doesn’t cook (because I love to eat at home and I need to share that responsibility with whoever eats with me regularly).
I have actually ended two fledgling relationships for petty reasons. One guy was uptight. I just can’t cope with that. Personality clash.
The other one is one I’m really ashamed of. I met him on Craigslist and we exchanged some e-mails. It seemed to be going well until he mentioned that he lived in the suburbs. I live in the city. I don’t drive and public transit into the suburbs in this city is a major hassle. My life (job, friends, activities, etc) is based around the downtown, and to adjust to dating someone in the suburbs would mean lots of time waiting for lifts at bus stations, and driving around in the middle of the night, and … well, hanging out in the suburbs instead of downtown. I never responded to his e-mail when he told me about the suburb thing, because I felt so shallow and whenever I tried to figure out how to explain it, it just felt shallower.
I’m still ashamed.
I don’t really have a *list * of dealbreakers. I know them when I see them, but if I like someone enough, I can forgive him a lot. That said… first I have to like him, so if he’s annoying me on the first date, there’s not going to be a second.
cowgirl, you’re not shallow, you’re practical. I don’t drive either, and although pretty much everyone I date does, I don’t expect anyone to go miles and miles out of their way to pick me up or drive me home. I also don’t plan to spend hours of my life navigating the MBTA to get to and from them. After all, knowing that you’ve got an hour or more commute in front of you really kills the afterglow. Those are the kinds of things you do for people you *already * know and love, not random guys on craigslist.
Amen, sisterfriend. I said to a friend of mine just the other day “I’m 37 years old, and I’m not teaching any freakin’ 101 courses.”
And actually, now that I’m thinking about it… anyone under 30. I’ve gone out with a few guys in their 20s, each time thinking “It’s not like I have to marry him, might as well have some fun!” and then, it’s… not fun. Recently one of them referred to Spade and Farley and “the old days of SNL”. It was all I could do not to respond “John, you ignorant slut!” 
Girls who expect ME to do all the calling. OK, I get it, I’m the “Man” so I guess I’ll cowboy up and make the first call, the second call and even the third call (Maybe). But damn, after that it’s give and take. Don’t ask me if I’m mad at you or if I’ve lost interest because I haven’t called you.
The fact that this exact thing has happened to me more than once amazes me.
Cusses too much. I’m not looking for a church lady or anything but if you cuss more than I do; it’s over.
Untidy home. Again, it doesn’t have to be Better Homes and Gardens; I just don’t want to walk through a minefield if I’m at your home.
Cynics: No need to apply.
Someone who believes in paranormal stuff. I stopped dating a guy once after I discovered that he patronized astrologers and psychics.
I can’t think of any. If they are dealbreakers, then pretty much that means I don’t consider them to be minor.
Another vote for bad kissers. Even though I’m 40, I wouldn’t mind doing more teaching. However, it seems that once you get past a certain age, that can’t be done with kissing. Which is a very, very vital element in my attraction to whoever I’m seeing.
Lack of manners in general. If you can’t thank the person who held the door open for you or the wait staff who brought your water, then we’re right out. In my experience, I’ve found that means you don’t have the necessary grease for my wheels on the Polite Society car.
Poor sense of humor and / or takes things too seriously. I can’t work with either of those happily.
Bad tippers = poor character IMO.
Too many compliments really gets on my nerves. I have a mirror and I know that I’m not the Queen of Sheba - cut the crap. Compliments are not the express lane to sex.