Be sure and get the paternity home test kit, she’s going to tell you it’s yours. Sorry.
Sorry dude, way too many red flags. I can’t even imagine one of my husband’s friends sending me a picture of his genitals - it is just so extraordinarily inappropriate (or my husband sending a female friend a picture of his genitals). It’s not looking like you and your wife have a future together.
Funny how often that happens in threads like this.
Cap10, she’s cheating on you and has been for a while. She has no intention of staying faithful to you. As monogamy is important to you, you need to divorce her and find a mate who values monogamy just as you do.
All due respect, but she does not respect you in the slightest. On the flip side you are behaving like a borderline tard thinking that you are going to “do” anything about her. The only person you can help in this scenario is yourself by pulling the ripcord and bailing.
That you are still dithering means you love her and would like to keep her. The only way that will happen is if you are OK with her fucking other men which is the activity she is currently engaged in. Most men would be gone by now, that you being willfully ignorant is your personal decision.
The upshot is YOU DON’T HAVE KIDS - move on. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER AGAIN. If she gets pregnant while married to you your potential clean and tidy escape gets turned into an epic whirlwind of feces.
The OP was talking about a penis? Well, my stars! Here I thought the OP’s wife’s friend was an enterprising young salesman of some sort, perhaps of vacuum cleaners or kitchen appliances, sending her photos of the latest models. And being the dutiful wife that she is, she was going to surprise him with a top-of-the-line electric range for Christmas so they could cook their favorite meals together. And to think the OP thought she was cheating on him. What a tragic misunderstanding that would have been!
If a man I was not having a sexual relationship with sent me a picture of his “goods” he would no longer be my friend.
Do not have sex with her without protection; you can catch things from her antibiotics won’t cure.
I’d advise cutting your losses.
To be fair, that 1-2% chance she hasn’t fucked this guy yet would be due to comical misunderstandings out of a French sex farce from the 1970s. Like, she was going to cheat on him with this guy, but the lights were out when she creeped in and she accidentally slept with the bellhop instead.
I bet you can track her even more via FB.
Do so and document everything. Then cut your losses.
You deserve better.
Consider STD testing as well. It’s unpleasant to think about, but if she’s sleeping with someone else, there’s a chance that her partner, or his other partners, are spreading something around. Just don’t take the chance.
Obvious is obvious
Or just put it in her butt.
Close your joint bank accounts, don’t have your pay check Direct Deposited any more, cancel all credit cards, and see a lawyer.
If you are renting, go to the landlord and have your name removed from the lease. Put in a forwarding address at the post office.
It really sounds like you were the only one married.
~VOW
#LFMF Get divorced before you bring kids into it.
I’m so sorry. But please believe me… if you have a kid it will just get worse, and in some states it’s really hard to get full custody of your child, or even evenly split custody, as a man.
I agree with all the other advice about bank accounts, etc.
Consider yourself lucky you found the message and leave. There are great women out there who’d love to be with you. They are waiting!
I was married for seven years and this pretty much descibes the warning signs of a cheating wife. Sorry, dude, but it’s over. Your wife’s a cheater, and leopards change not their spots.
The landlord is not obligated to remove you from a lease and has every incentive to keep everyone on the lease so the landlord has as many pockets of money available if someone decides to not pay rent. FYI. You may have to buy your name off the lease.
As Snoop Dogg would say, it wasn’t your fault:
“What she do…
she jumped out of her sleep and left the pad at a quarter to two
That’s on you…
you shoulda put your foot in her ass, like a pimp’s supposed to do
But instead of goin’ ‘upside da head’
You bought her a 5 karat wit your bread
And then she went and gave her homeboy Ted some head”
How old are the two of you?
A friend of mine caught his fiancee making out with the best man two days before the wedding. They went ahead with it. They’re not together now - but they did have a kid together, so there’s that.
I had similar - but far less overt - warning signs in a past relationship and every single one of my concerns turned out to have been fulfilled, and then some.
As my grandmother used to say: B.L.O.B. Bad Luck Old Bean.
The next few months and possibly even years, are going to hurt like crazy. As you said, you love her, and perversely you will probably not want to hurt her, even though she’s actively hurting you. But you have to. It’s a scary thought to start it - nobody really wants to kick that sort of thing off when they know it will hurt - but you have to start to rip the band aid at some point.
Good luck, stay strong, it will get better and you will meet someone worthy of you. I did, and I’m happier now than I was before.
Very good advice.
Its going to hurt breaking up with her, but it will hurt more and more the longer you put it off.
You need to get her hooks out of you NOW .
No, she’s right: you don’t trust her. But if the situation is as you describe, who in their right mind would?
Pack up your stuff. Move out. Get a divorce.
And by no means have sex with her ever again. There’s no point in taking the slightest risk that she might get pregnant by you.
ETA: take VOW’s practical advice. Per Bearflag70, you might have to buy your way off the lease, but if the price isn’t exorbitant, it would be worth it. You just want to sever all connections with this woman as quickly and efficiently and with the least fuss as possible.