What should I do? (relationship related)

A couple weeks ago I met this pretty cool girl online. She goes to the same school as I do, and we share many of the same interests. She role plays, likes fantasy books, does the RenFest thing every year, plays video games, and more. So I go out on a few dates and we hang out. She is 19, I am 28, she will be 20 in a few months, but I will be 29 in a few months… So I am a little wierded out about the age difference. This has come up in the past for me, as I am a non-traditional student and live in a new town with no access to people my own age.

Now, a couple days ago, we get into an argument. Seems she holds to a theory of biological superiority of women. There had been several jokes to me about how I wouldn’t understand “such and such” because I was a man. I laughed and didn’t think anything of it at the time, but after this argument we had I started to wonder. Then she drops the gem about how she thinks women in the near future will no longer need men and women can steralize us men and be done with them. :eek:

Well, needless to say I am inclined to drop her. So I expressed my desire to do so and she begged me to forgive her for saying anything, and asked to have a second chance. So I am thinking about it. It is a pretty big deal for me, I think. I don’t want to be in a relationship (Eventually) in which I am viewed as inferior. And frankly I don’t like bigots and racists. I have ended friendships because their racism was too much for me to overlook.

I have only known her two weeks, and while I like most of what I see, the age thing, her desire to never work out and the fact that she is anti-health (while I plan on being healthy and working out my whole life, and she seems to want to dissuade me of this), and this adds up to me thinking our shared interests isn’t enough.

I don’t know what to do. I could go with the relationship and later it could turn out to be worse and end up badly, or end it now when it is early and feelings are not going to be as hurt. What are some opinions on this? Should I give this girl a second chance? Am I being too critical?

You’re already clear this isn’t going to work out – and you have my permission to not pursue it.

The next time she starts in with this shit, strip her, collar her, and kneel her at your feet. Alternatively, just dump her sorry ass without further ado. Just so she knows that whole dispensing-with-the-opposite-sex crapola cuts both ways. :rolleyes:

This might be because of her age…she’s mulling over “big ideas” in her head and THINKS she believes them but hasn’t actually had the life experience to test any of her theories. There’s a lot of things I thought when I was 19 that I would laugh at myself for thinking now, at 26. She’s probably trying to make herself seem cool and grown-up to you but doesn’t realize how goofy and “left-field” this stuff sounds. And how it’s just plain stupid stuff to say to a man you’re interested in.

You can “wait it out” and see if she changes her ideas as she gets older…but she might KEEP those ideas and then what?

Give her a chance to talk it out. Try to have a serious debate about it (stand up for your gender!) and if she continues to talk gibberish…back away :slight_smile:

In my vast experiences with past relationships :dubious: , I have learned to trust my gut instincts. I would have never gotten married (and therefore recently divorced) if I trusted my gut about the woman and ditched her because of her issues.

Your girl has issues.

Dump her. Now.

While I think the age difference isn’t all that huge it does sound like she’s a bit immature for you. The fact that she seems to want to dissuade you from your healthier lifestyle (meaning healthier than hers) would be a huge deal for me.

Liking some of the same stuff is a good place to start but when you get down to the core values if things don’t click don’t waste your time.

Two weeks is plenty of time to figure out that it’s going nowhere. I’d say keep looking.

Man! Talk about your “Get out of jail free” cards!

This pretty much gives you the freedom to do whatever the hell you want. -And when she confronts you with something like: “Epimetheus! Why did you screw my best friend?!”

Your paradigm response can always be: “Sorry hon, I’m just a man. What do you want/expect from me?” ^:confused:^

I second the motion that she sounds like a rebel without a clue.

If she likes you and respects your opinion then in time she may end up learning something from you and become a more mature and balanced person.

I say stick it out a bit longer. View it as your RL opportunity to fight ignorance; Are you gonna do it or just talk about it?! :slight_smile:

And she may be really good in bed. The crazy ones often are. :smiley: