What drives you nuts, and churns up your guts,
And makes a slinkity sound?
A spring, a spring, that goddam thing,
Everyone hears his Slinky.
It’s Slinky, it’s Slinky,
It’s really a pain in the ass,
It’s Slinky, it’s Slinky,
Like fingernails scraping on glass!
I have a guy next to me who does the same thing. I am amazed that there are two in the world. If only we could get them to meet and move away
Am I the only one to read the OP and immediately think of Tango & Cash?
If I were encasing a slinky, I’d use ice instead of jello. Less potential mess, clearer view of the scorned object.
The swapping idea is great.
Swap it for Log!
All kids love Log!..
What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs
rolls over your neighbors dog?
what’s great for a snack, and fits on your back
It’s LOG, LOG, LOG!
It-s Lo-og it’s lo-og, it’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood
It’s Lo-og, lo-og, it’s better than bad, it’s good
Go on and get your log, everyone wants a log
everyone needs a log
Log, from Blammo!
Exactly. The idea is to make is such a pain in the ass for him to have to unkink it before he can play with it that it becomes an activity that is no longer worth the effort. But you do have the added bonus that he may very well destroy it himself.
I once held a coworker’s stapler hostage for 3 weeks when she got bitchy about anyone else using it. I made up a fake email account under the name of what’s-his-face from Office Space and sent her pics of the stapler trying to get away, being held dangerously close to a table saw, threatened with a blow torch, stuff like that.
I love this stuff. Of course, while I was on maternity leave everything in my office was turned upside down and backwards.
Tragically, the slinky has been abducted - I had nothing to do with it, but it is SO nice to have silence.
I hope that whoever took it destroys the damn thing and doesn’t just give it back with a “ooooh- gotcha” like it was a joke.
Apparently I’m not the only one that was annoyed.
QUICK! Give him something like a stress ball (that is silent) to play with in the meantime. Then he’ll get hooked on the quiet toy.
GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKIN SLINKY is back. I’m going to just go over there and strangle the guy with it. I’m seriously considering talking to our boss or maybe bring it up to HR. I can’t fucking concentrate with that goddamn noise.
Take a bunch of tie wraps (you know, the little belt-like nylon strips that tighten up but won’t come undone) and put a whole bunch of them on the Slinky so it is compressed and immovable. Should be able to get several dozen on it, depending on what size you use. Use some of the really heavy-duty ones like the cops use in place of handcuffs. Harder to cut through.
If he doesn’t take this hint, then nothing is going to stop him and you will have to talk to his supervisor or just steal or destroy the thing.
Funny you mention that, I already tried it. Problem is that where I work, he has easy access to angle cutters and just snipped right through them. I then tried safety wiring the damn thing shut, but he got through that pretty easily as well.
I wonder if he’d notice if I just lifted up a tile in the drop ceiling and threw the thing up there?
No, no! Please go with the bowl-of-Jello route and take pictures, I’m begging you!
Another vote for Jell-O slinky and pictures.
The problem is the logistics of the thing. He works 4 10hr shifts, I work 5 8hr shifts. He gets to work 2 hrs before me and we leave at the same time mon-thurs. I could jello-ize it on fri, when he’s not there, but I don’t know how I’d get it back to his desk without him noticing it gone.
Unless - I stay late one night. Bring the jello mix with me and mix up the jello slinky at work after he leaves. I could leave him a note to check the fridge when he gets in in the morning. Not quite as dramatic as him getting to his desk and finding the jello-slinky waiting for him.
Any other ideas?
I may just go buy my own, jello-ize it and do the switcheroo. That may be the best bet.
How about a bowl of salt water, a couple copper wires, and a 9 volt battery, rust that sucker closed 
Can I just say I love the word “jello-ize”? I picture you terrorizing people with red jello.
Has it really been 5 years? Wow.
Anyway, I’ve found the answer. What do you do with an annoying slinky?
You imbed it in polyurethane.
Update from then til now. I finally gave up on him being sensible and I simply took the slinky for the sake of my own sanity. I never bothered to post it here, since there was the extremely small chance that he’d find out. I’ve since moved about 400 miles away and changed jobs.
Recently I found the infamous slinky. I had completely forgotten about it. But, now that I have access to all the equipment, I decided to embed it in polyurethane.
It came out great. A veritable piece of modern art! I can’t decide if I should just keep it or track down the rightful owner. I’ll leave it on my desk as a business card holder while I think about it.
Ha! I saw the date of the OP and thought to myself, “Who’s the idiot that raised this zombie from the dead?” That’s a perfect solution. If I had the balls to do anything at the time, I’d have gone out and bought a new slinky, done something like that (probably jello), and replaced the original slinky in the morning.
Good job! I was expecting to see a squarish blob of plastic with a closed Slinky inside, but that’s art.
Okay, that there is funny, I don’t care who you are. I’d love a trophy like that. And it’d be an awesome business card holder.