I was thinking maybe an ode to all those who’ve already passed the three thousand mark.
That would take effort, though… help me out here.
Here are some ideas:
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Complain about how lousy tonight’s episode of The Simpsons was.
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Answer my recent querry about Viking drinking habits in GQ.
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Explain how you got 3,000 posts in eleven months and I didn’t.
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Tell us what the meaning of life is.
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Savagely mock those who have been on the board longer than you, but still don’t have 3,000 posts.
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Recommend you’re favorite book.
ITR, that stuff will be perfect for 2,993.
1. Complain about how lousy tonight’s episode of The Simpsons was.
Didn’t The Simpsons suck tonight? It was so bad, I didn’t even watch it.
2. Answer my recent querry about Viking drinking habits in GQ.
Any reader of Bill Bryson’s stuff knows that the reasons Vikings are better than Columbus are 1) they really discovered America, and 2) they were manly and drank out of skulls. Not horns. Incidentally, they did have flagons, so if they did do any horn-drinking it would have been when they were out on the road or at sea, where there were no tables for the horns to sit on anyway.
3. Explain how you got 3,000 posts in eleven months and I didn’t.
I have to type a lot so it sounds like I’m working. This is as good a place as any to do all that fake-work typing.
4. Tell us what the meaning of life is.
life, n.- The property or quality that distinguishes living organisms from dead organisms and inanimate matter, manifested in functions such as metabolism, growth, reproduction, and response to stimuli or adaptation to the environment originating from within the organism.
5. Savagely mock those who have been on the board longer than you, but still don’t have 3,000 posts.
<Nelson>HA HA</Nelson>
6. Recommend you’re favorite book.
Oldie but goodie: Catch-22, Joseph Heller
Sci-Fi: Use of Weapons, Iain M. Banks
Fantasy: Silverthorn, Raymond E. Feist
General Fiction: The Moor’s Last Sigh, Salman Rushdie
Nonfiction: Have a Nice Day!- A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks, Mick Foley.
I did a board tribute for 10K, but I’m thinking you’re looking for something on a different level (the list of 3K posters is somewhat larger than the list of 10K). Suggestions:
Something you learned from this place and how it helped you in a specific situation
Your perceptions of this place when you first came (as a lurker? Did you start posting immediately?) vs your present perceptions
How your posting/reading/lurking style has changed over time
Address some topic/point/argument you don’t feel has been given face-time here. We could certainly use the diversity of topic:)
Start a game thread … wait, scratch that last idea;)
Sell your account on eBay.
Piss it away on fast cars and fast women.
Wouldn’t this be more of a definition of life rather than its meaning?
How about revealing your deepest, darkest secrets - we won’t tell anyone - you can trust us, can’t you??
Come on now - all the gory details please - you’ll never be 3,000 again.
Arrange an elaborate ceremony wherein all the other posters with 3000 posts hand you a torch as you reach 3000. The torch passing will not symbolize that you passed some milestone, but merely tied it. I’ve seen something similar done before. It was very moving.
I say waste it, you know, it doesn’t really mean anything. Not that I’m jealous or anything. :
:
What a 10 000 word post on the meaning life. Letting everyone know what lifes purpose is, why we’re here, etc. Then post it but let the hamsters eat it. Then your 3000 post can be bitching about how you were going to tell us all about the meaning of life, but the hamsters ate it.
I did that with my college tuition money. Post 3,000 is far too valuable to waste.
Darlin’, don’t be so silly. The hamsters have already eaten far too many of my finest literary works of art, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to feed them one.
I’ve been thinking about using it for the Floridope/FCM’s leaving do wrapup post, but that isn’t 'til the 24th. Given that this post right here will be 2999, can I even survive not posting five days?
Whoops… I counted wrong, I’ve still got one post le…
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!
The only truly honorable thing to do would be to donate it to charity. Which has the nice benefit of being tax deductible.
Or write a nice essay on the perils of carpal tunnel syndrome from the Internet.
Now you should never post again, just let the clock sit at 3k like Miss Havisham.
I’m kidding, of course.
I knew it! I knew it!
BTW despite my slight jealousy ARRGH! I want 3000 posts! I really didn’t want you to waste it, honest.
FTR, this was his 2999th post. The 3000th post is here. Nothing all that special. He is Really Not All That Bright.
Ouch.
Kick me while I’m down, why don’t you? I completely forgot about the 3,000 thing to chip in for the Maradona thread. The “aaaaaaaargh” was because I had just wasted my 2,999th post on saying that I still had #2,999 available 
<sigh> Time to start planning for 4k…
I think you should skip your 3,000th post; go directly from the 2,999th to the 3,001st.