Thanks to the marvels of the Universal Life Church I am getting my cat ordained. I am thinking that he will be able to marry people by snuggling up with two consecutive people. What else should I know about this? I also wonder how binding the Universal Life Church’s ordination is. I think it would be a hoot. Judging by my cat’s temperment this could be really entertaining. He snuggles me then goes to random friend in the room and I can then inform them that we are now married and have to do it. I will positively feel like Rik Mayall’s character on the show “Full Bottom.”
Given that cats start out as gods, what makes you think yours will accept a demotion to priest?
It will be a secret. So don’t go spilling the beans.
So, would he sign people’s marriage licenses by dipping his little paw in ink and stomping on the paper?
Is he aware of the fact he can no longer sleep late on Sunday?
If a cat snuggles with you, that means he’s absolved your sins. Then when he snuggles with a random friend, he’s telling all your juicy gossip.
If a cat grooms you, you’ve been baptized.
If a cat dances the Macarena in front of you, then performs the same ritual in front of someone else, THEN you’re married.
If a cat craps on your bed, you’ve been excommunicated.