I had a small, discreet dealer sticker on the trunk of my car when I bought it seven years ago, and the first thing I did was peel that sucker off - no one is paying me to advertise for them, so they get NOTHING! If I went to pick up the car and it had the dealership’s name emblazoned across my window, I would demand that they remove it on their dime.
A person who says “to be honest” is not to be trusted.
If you dress like, and try to appear as a dangerous thug, I will treat you as one.
Visible tattoos and redneck(-ishly) adorned trucks are both evidence of immaturity. But I rate the redneck slightly higher (he can repaint his truck).
I really do feel bad about this, but any L.A.-type kardashian-esque voice inflections pop up a big ‘avoid this person’ flag in my head.
50% of the population has a double-digit IQ. You should know that, being on the Dope, where everybody has an IQ of 195.
Tight jeans and heels = promiscuous
Long, talon-like fingernails = mean and superficial
I rapidly place other men into “douchebag” and “non-douchebag” categories based on dress and mannerisms. Anyone found in the former will not receive much of my attention, nor time.
I once saw a man driving down 6th Avenue in a huge Humvee, with a bushy Castro beard and smoking an enormous cigar (the driver that is, not the Humvee). My first thought was, “he must have the smallest penis in New York!”
Are you sure he wasn’t Castro?
Maybe the emasculation was so severe he was singing castrado.
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People who write poorly (particularly those who use a lot of “chatspeak”) are not very smart, or else they’re kids who don’t know any better. I have a hard time respecting people who can’t write at least adequately.
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British accent: intelligent (this excludes Cockney accents, which I still like, but to which I don’t immediately ascribe intelligence)
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Women dressed tomboyishly: A woman I might get along better with than the “average” woman
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Men/teens with their underwear hanging out of their pants: morons. This is particularly true for guys in basketball shorts and tighty whities. Ditto guys who sag their pants down so far that the seat rides down somewhere around their knees, even if their shirt is long enough that I don’t have to look at their skivvies.
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Anybody who likes Jackass movies: not our kind, dear.
People who praise Jesus for things they have accomplished on their own (such as narrowly missing a traffic accident due to quick reflexes). Give yourself some damn credit.
White sunglass frames will immediately cause me to place you in the “douchebag” category. White glasses frames will do that, too, but they’re not as common.
We were hanging out around the front of a restaurant after having dinner with a group last summer, and a guy came roaring out of his parking spot and proceeded to screech on down the street, revving his engine and making a huge racket and smell from his hot engine and tires. I yelled, “Too bad about your PENIS!” after him.
Guys with the crotch of their pants hanging down around their knees = not even in the same zip code with cool or intelligent.
If you pronounce “ask” as “aks”, I peg you as lazy or uneducated, or both. I’m comfortable doing this since everyone I’ve ever met that prounounced it that way was, as I came to learn, either lazy or uneducated, or both.
Any guy who talks with a high pitched lilt in his voice (i.e. stereotypical gay speech pattern) must be gay.
I met a guy at work just the other day like this, and immediately assumed he was gay. Later on during conversation he mentioned that he has a wife… but I still can’t shake the impression that he’s gay! :eek:
That people who wear their hair in dreadlocks must be pot smokers.
Men with buzz cuts are thuggish, brutal, and untrustworthy.
Women in headscarves/hijab are brave.
People who say they never lie cannot be trusted.
Middle aged women wearing tribal jewelry and birkies went to a liberal arts college and graduated in the humanities. They are not dangerous.
Buff young people wearing skintight athletic clothing (the branded kind) have uninteresting minds.
Teenagers who speak in a nasal monotone are without merit.
Anyone who looks deeply into my eyes when introduced must be treated with great caution.
Men who wear Carhartt work jackets and boots will be nice to me, and will be of practical use.
People who look hispanic (I live in California) will probably not completely understand what I just said, but they’ll pretend they do.
My snap judgement is that I’ll be snapped-judged. If they’re more affluent, I’m a loser; if of more humble means then I’m “The Man.” if I’m in an outgoing mood I’m a pompous middle age boor. If introspective or simply of low blood sugar then I’m obviously a creepy old guy. Any stranger exhibiting friendliness is either retarded or a predator.