In the Shagnasty milk story pitting, Dopers were aghast that someone would dismiss a potential lover because she chose to drink milk at a bar. Frankly, drinking alcohol and attempting to appear sophisticated aren’t big issues for me, so I was tempted to jump on the bandwagon (so to speak) bashing the protagonist in Shagnasty’s story. Both Shagnasty and his friend came off as pompous jerks.
Upon further reflection, however, I have to admit that I do use some superficial criteria in my assessments of friends and acquaintances. I’m betting all of us do, so I thought it would be an interesting question to pose.
Mine is (are?) walls. I really notice what’s on people’s walls, whether they’ve got awful sofa paintings or decent posters, or nice prints or even (be still my heart) original art. People with blank walls creep me out.
What superficial criteria do you use for making judgements about people?
Women who are too into their dogs. Especialy small ones.
Now don’t get me wrong I own and love pets myself. It’s just that some women I know and/or have been with talk about “Little shmoopskins” like they are their actuall sons or daughters. It just kind of creeps me out. Especially when all they ever want to talk about is their little dog. :rolleyes:
You would hate my SO. This place had bare naked walls until I moved in.
Women with caked-on mascara or lipstick often strike me as prom-queen-wannabe types who aren’t all that bright. I know it’s not always true, but that’s my snap judgment of them.
I also notice what music people listen to, and I make an awful lot of assumptions based on that, until I catch myself. I snoop through the CDs in the car console, or the entertainment center, and think, “Hmm, Britney Spears…” or “Aah, Van Morrison…” and wham! Judgmental me rears her head.
I used to judge people online based on their grammar, spelling and punctuation, but I finally gave up on that. It was so wildly inaccurate, because some of the smartest people I’ve encountered have the worst spelling and grammar skills.
NASCAR afficiandos. Any major sports fixation really, because I’m not at all interested so there’s a huge potential disconnect, but NASCAR rings my alarm bells in a way ‘regular’ sports don’t.
Superficial? Sure. I don’t actually care if my fella wants to watch the game or the race, as long as I’m not expected to share the enthusiasm. So it’s not even a real dealbreaker, except the racing thing, it just screams ignorant redneck to me even though logically I know it’s not necessarily so.
Clothing that doesn’t fit properly. Too big or too small or whatever.
I guess this is more theory than practice, as I can be guilty of wearing things that are too small/big at times (mostly due to thrift store purchasing). I’m glad I didn’t have this fixation five years ago, because my now-fiance is also very guilty. He’s a slim 120 pounds, and about 5’9", yet I find size XL T-shirts in his wardrobe all the time. The dress shirts are the worst–I think his family buys him all his dress shirts, and they still haven’t figured out that he’s really freaking skinny.
How about original commissioned art? I assume that now you want to marry me. If you can cook, yer in.
Moving on to the crux of the OP…
Men who ever comment on my spending habits, my $$, if I have a credit card, that I have designer clothing, etc, etc. It’s none of their business, they don’t pay my bills, and their opinion doesn’t matter at all to me, so they can keep it to themselves. My lovely SO never comments at all, which, in part is why he’s my SO.
Also - and I really try not to do this - when I see very tanned, bleached blond, hootchie mamma’s with fake bosoms, leaping out of their tops, I always assume they’re going to be abrasive (not nasty, just kind of loud and boisterous I guess). I’m right about 60% of the time, so it’s not really a valid judgement.
I am always suspect of cat owners, especially women who also say they like to go to Sedona and buy crystals and feel the vibe.
I consider anybody an idiot who sends me an email that has to be forwarded on to 10 other people or else I will have some horrible fate befall me. Same with people who seem to think it is classy to have email with bizarre colors as “stationary”.
I distance myself from people who are cheap (in British English, people that are mean). I know lots of people who do not have a lot of money, but there is a difference between not having money and being cheap. When I see it, it is not pretty and they are written off.
And as a Gay man, I can pick up on homophobia from a great distance, so first I blast them back and secondly, write them off. Don’t have time for hate.
I remember one co-worker and I were becoming friends, I babysat her son a couple of times. And she and her husband owned, like, 4 CDs. Four CDs!!! I couldn’t even comprehend. And no books!! Predictably, that friendship went nowhere. And she had the nerve to act superior to me b/c she’s skinny and drives a Range Rover, whereas I’m fat & at the time was driving an ancient Accord with disreputable headlights. Four-CD-no-books-havin’! Pffft!
How can you have nothing on your walls? Put something on your wall already! How can you live that way? What do you look at? You just sit there staring at blank walls all day? How can you do that?
Go to Ikea, buy a poster, get a nail and a hammer, and fix this situation.
Really.
If I go to someone’s home or business and there’s nothing on the walls, it makes me really uncomfortable. I won’t go back if I can help it.
I don’t want to even read about your blank walls. I’m getting creeped out sitting here just thinking about it. Put something on your damn wall. Grab a shoe and put some footprints on your wall if you’re too broke to buy a poster. Smear some ketchup and chocolate sauce on there. A little relish, for texture.
SUV drivers. I live in the Prairie State–'nuf said.
Women who wear too much jewelry–they either clank or jingle when they walk. Yo-you’re not an elf!
Men who do the comb-over. <shudders> Toupees, ditto.
Men with gold teeth–never met anyone of intelligence with a gold tooth, sorry!
People with such attitudes that they may as well wear a sign that says, “I’m a bitch” or “I am one entitled SOB”.
White men of a certain age who feel the need to show their dominance, either by putting down women, or the woman they are with or just in general making as ass of themselves. They may be deacons at their church, for all I know, but all I see is that they can’t hanclle not being first in consideration (restaurant, nurses station, dept store etc). Keep your hands and your nasty, quasi-harassing comments to yerself, eh?
People who say things like, “I could never read the same book twice.” I politely excuse myself, never to meet them again.
People who know too much about pop culture–do you have a life of your own?
Bad hair dye jobs.
Ooh–I could go on and on…! This is very therapeutic! Thanks.
I have real attention issues. I get over stimulated way too easy, and become anxious and irritable: my job is full of stimulation (I’m an English teacher) and when I come home I need things to be as smooth and restful as possible. The last thing I want is to have something complicated to look at! So I have no pictures, and not a single knick-knack unless you count the afgan I keep on the couch.
Plus, pictures on the walls mean fewer spots for bookcases. I do have 26 bookcases. Do those count as “something on the walls”?
Yes. Twenty-six bookcases definitely excuses you, so long as their contents show some signs of wear (those decorative leather-bound books wouldn’t count). Ten wouldn’t be enough, but I can’t argue with 26.
It does surprise me, though, that you wouldn’t want to have some kind of cheery poster near your front door, to greet you. Sunflowers? Or photographs of friends & family?
And what about your bathroom? Wouldn’t you like an image to contemplate while attending to business? Perhaps a couple of framed postcards? Pressed flowers?
Guys who drive Trans-Ams or Firebirds I probably don’t have much in common with.
If I ask you about 80’s music and you tell me about The Cars, Boy George, INXS, Prince, TalkingHeads, The Bangles, then your okay.
If you tell me about BonJovi, DefLeppard, Poison, Warrant, RATT, then we’re not going to get along.
People, particularly men, who make a lot of jokes at others’ expense. Self-deprecating humor, on the other hand, can be very attractive if not overdone.
I’d be very lonely if I wrote off all SUV drivers around here, but if you’ve got a Hummer or a really huge pickup truck, I need to hear a very good reason.
