I taught my sister’s kids to make the following face:
[ol]
[li]Pull the corners of your mouth outward with your pinkie fingers;[/li][li]Stretch the corners of your eyes outward with your index fingers; and[/li][li]Pull your nostrils outward with your middle fingers.[/li][/ol]
Practice it in a mirror; done properly, it is horrifying. My sister was not pleased.
I also have some friends, a married couple, who recently adopted a beautiful two-year-old who is, developmentally, about at the level of a one-year-old. I’ve taught her to give me five, which never fails to make her laugh.
I must admit I do find it funny when i find out a little kid knows a swear word. So i do end up giving them a few more. And when they see you in tears of laughter they just wont stop with the word. I’m sure there parents hate it but oh well not my kids!
Yes, I have made it my life’s ambition to have all my children able to recite Monty Python quotes under any circumstance. They are becoming quite the MP fans too. They absolutely love “Holy Grail” and they will often request to watch episodes of “Flying Circus” I have on DVD. One of their favorite albums is the soundtrack to the musical, “Spamalot!”
Just a note: while “Help, help, I’m being repressed!” is funny as shit, it’s also completely aggravating when your friend teaches your toddler to scream it in the grocery store while you’re steering the kid away from the boxes of Crunchy Sugar Bits (Now With More Corn Syrup!). Mostly 'cause you have to try not to laugh at it while it’s being used against you.
My girls, age 3 & 4 know ALL the referee hand signals for Football. And they perform them on request. My 3 year old’s first word was “touchdown”, complete with hands in the air. Although it came out more like, “Tadaaaw!”
My older daughter started (mis)telling a knock-knock joke before she was two:
Knock knock?
Who’s there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Who who.
My younger daughter’s first knock-knock joke (at about the same age) was possibly even cuter, but it required her accent:
Knock knock?
Who’s there?
Iss dust me!
I taught them to say “rock and roll!” whenever I held up “goat horns”.
I started the eldest, now three, on Mah na mah na when she was about 2yrs old. Then we had a second child who became obsessed with it. We’ve got Cake’s version of the song on an album, “For the Kids,” that the youngest demands any time we’re in the car.
Yesterday the cd wasn’t in the car. The whole 15 minute drive I was treated to:
Kid #1 (not quite 2yrs old) Mah na mah na
Kid #2 (not quite 4yrs old) Do dooo do doo doo.
Kid #1 Mah na mah na
Kid #2 Do do do do
{repeat x1542 times}
I may have created a monster. Or two.
My mother had a sister four years younger than her. When the little sister was about 2yrs old my mother taught her to respond when asked what time it was with “Half past a monkey’s ass, quarter to his balls.”
As punishment, she had until dinner time to teach her to say the blessing.
I was listening to Spamalot with the toddler this morning. My goal is to have him learn all of the words to “You Won’t Succeed On Broadway If You Don’t Have Any Jews” by the time he turns two.
For what it is worth, I have not yet found an 18 month old who cannot quickly learn to hold up a bent index finger and croak “REDRUM! REDRUM! REEEEDDDDDRRRUUUUMMMMM!”
Just went to my pantry, grabbed a straw and tried it. Works like a charm.
Then i put the straw back into the cub that the rest where in. Now i dont know what straw i had in my arm pit so now we got no more blue straws, had to throw them all out cause i didn’t know which was the dirty one
A friend of mine had a friend visiting; he passed gas in front of the kids by doing his best karate kick while singing out “Everybody was kung-fu farting!”
For the kids, hilarity ensued (for months afterwards). For the parents, not so much.
My SIL hasn’t been happy with me since a few Christmases ago. I went outside to play with their dogs, and it was muddy, so I came back in covered in paw prints. My niece said something about it, I don’t remember what, but my reply was, “Meh, they’re just clothes, they’ll wash.”
That apparently became her catch-phrase, and SIL’s laundry load increased, although I understand the kids do some of it now that they’re tall enough to reach the controls!
