Obnoxious things to teach a 3 year old [NEED ANSWER FAST]

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m babysitting my friends’ 5 month old and 3 year old tonight. The baby is the nicest, most calm baby ever, so I’m not worried about that. The three year old, on the other hand, is a handful in all the best ways (seriously, she’s super smart and super funny). So, what obnoxious things can I teach the 3 year old (well, she’s almost 3) in a span of 3 hours?

Ideas thus far:

[ul]
[li]I could teach her how to Dougie.[/li]
[li]I could teach her to respond to everything with, “BUT DADDY, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE HIM!”[/li][/ul]

More ideas?

(And before everyone thinks I’m a crappy friend, her parents already do things like this. For example, one day, she was playing a game where she decided she was hiding from snakes. Her dad taught her to say Nazis instead. So, now, she hides under the stairs at my house, pretend shouting that the Nazis are coming).

2

Teach her the wrong words to nursery rhymes and children’s songs. Bonus points if they are just random words you sing to the tune.

3

My cousin taught a friends kid to point at people and say ‘Hamster Brain’.

4

Dude-speak.

As in “hey duuuuude!” or “I don’t - what do you think, duuuuuude?”

I did that with a friend’s 3 year old and it was…very effective. I got in a bit of trouble because the kid would not stop. Face it, the word Dude is pretty funny on a few levels to a little kid…

5

I was also thinking of trying to teach her to say something super creepy in Latin, totally straight faced without blinking.

6

“Milk milk lemonade” is a popular one.

7

Teach him that if he wants something, the best way to get it is to scream “stop hitting me!” as loudly as possible.

8

How about the “It’s a small world” song?

9

“Redrum! Redrum!”

10

This is an old favorite.

11

Teach her how to make fart sounds by putting her hand in her armpit. I must’ve driven my parents batty when I discovered that one.

12

I like to teach kids how to do a Bronx cheer or raspberry. If the kid’s dad is a sports fan, teach her to follow it up with the name of his favorite team.

When I was small, my uncle, who was a NY Giants fan, taught me to do that and go up to another uncle who was a Dodger fan and go Thbbbbbbbbbt! Dodgers!:smiley:

13

Play the kazoo?

14

The idea of teaching a 3-year-old girl do do ‘The Dougie’ amuses me immensely.

I suggest you teach her to stare at someone, tilt her head at an odd angle and cheerfully say, “I… Must… Find… A… New… Host!”

15

When my 4-year-old niece had her birthday, I taught “Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo” to her older sister. Older sisters need to know things like that for a younger sibling’s birthday. I’m her mother’s older sister, I know these things.

16

Show her where the cupholder is on the computer.

17

Teach her to sing the fight song/cheer of her dad’s hated sports rival. This works particularly well if the dad is a college football fan.

18

Teach her to say “that’s what she said” in response to everything.

19

DRUMS, teach her to play the drums, you can get her a kids set cheap or even just a snare, be sure to send them home with her. Drums+Kid=Awesome

Capt

20

Teach her to call out “loser” and “sucker” to cars being passed while they’re on the highway. My son started doing that and it was pretty funny, until he started doing it to people’s faces.