Let’s say there were a rift in the space-time continuum that sucked you out of your den and into a comic-book universe. The transit between universe has mutagenic effects giving you mid-level super-powers on a par with Ms. Marvel–tough enough that you’d be an asset to any super-hero team, but not so tough that you’d never need help. You learn through consultation with Stephen Strange or Dr. Fate that you’re stuck in this universe for a a year, after which you’ll be able to return to our world; but you’ve also managed to piss off the local cosmic baddie, Thanos or Darkseid–somebody you clearly can’t hope to fight off on your own, and who intends to kill you only after a few unbelievably long hours of torture. Your mystic advisor is too busy with his own crap to baby sit you, he advises you to ally yourself with a super-hero team to increase your odds of surviving.
I think we should all get to pick an era. And not ALL the Legionnaires had idiot names. Wildfire, Timber Wolf, Dawnstar, Shrinking Violet…those were all reasonable.
I’m ambivalent about the Giffen-Levitz era Legion myself. On the one hand the group is full of hot chicks, all but three of whom fight Khunds in their lingerie. On the other hand said hot chicks are all taken, generally by guys who can either crush your bones into dust, burn you to a crisp, or both. Plus, my one-year restriction means that, in comic-book time, you’d have a fair chance of being around during the Crisis…and being a newly-introduced character during that particular cosmic event was a good way to end up dead.
The Authority. I’d be an uber-badass, engineered to always have the upper hand in any fanboyish “Who would win?” argument. My teammates and I could do anything we thought was right, even invade sovereign nations and depose the rulers we disapproved of, and take control for the common good of the people. We’d kill our super-villains so they could never return to hurt more innocents, we’d engage in massive rescue missions all the time, saving millions of lives, and we’d party a lot and have lots of sex (with each other and our tens of thousands of adoring fans) in the Carrier, our dimension-spanning shiftship powered by a caged baby universe.
The Defenders. You get to have the Silver Surfer on your side! But…you’d be a Defender…
Naw, JSA. I’d spend hours just wandering around looking at stuff and listening to their stories. And, since I know I’m going home at the end, I can go out in a blaze of heroic glory! Ok, so I know I don’t die, so maybe not so heroic. It would still be fun. And there’s no Bat-jerk on that team, either.
Given the choice, I’d pick Larry’s Negative Man’s powers. Sure he’s supposed to die if he stays in that form for over a minute, but how does anyone really know? Seems to me the only way to be sure is to wait over a minute and see what happens.