Tongues and fingers go as far as anything else if you use them right.
Just saying. 
So no, not all of us are toy-crazy.
I’ve met two such couples in the past 8 months. They know of some other long-term lesbian couples, too. I’ve learned from them that lesbians (and lesbian couples) are exactly like other human beings, except for their non-traditional relationships.
Very few of the people that I know would ever consider walking up to a heterosexual female they knew, and ask her if she and her boyfriend would like to have a 3-way. That’s why they ought not do the same to you, Tibs, or any other lesbian, or anyone, for that matter. Lesbians are just like you and me!!!
I’m so enlightened.
Query: What’s the biggest health problem facing lesbians these days? What is being done to fight the problem?
I think a lot of lesbians go toy-free and are perfectly satisfied. 
As for the greatest health risk - I think it’s the same as the greatest health risk to women in general. But I think you mean lesbian specific and I really don’t know if there have been any studies on it.
I’ll ask to see if anyone knows the answer to that.
Tibs.
Health?
I’ve read that lesbians tend to be slightly heavier than heterosexual women. I’d chalk that bit up to less worrying about body image as a community. There’s also slighly higher rates of smoking, alcoholism, and depression.
Lesbians also tend to not get regular checkups and are at higher risk for breast and cervical cancer, I believe.
Tibs if you come to Denver, I’ll take you to Ms C’s! You gotta bring your cowgirl outfit, though, it’s a country western place. I went there a couple of times with the law school lesbian contingent. Entertaining…I can’t square dance worth a s*** & I prefer boys, but what the hey, it’s fun!
Here’s my theory on why lesbian relationships get intense real fast & don’t often last as long. There is no “model”…we straights have all these rules learned in high school…how to flirt, date methodology (boy pays, movie + dinner, to kiss or not on 1st date.) There seems to be an accepted progression…meet parents, officially go steady, get engaged, get married & so on. Lesbians & gays don’t have this blueprint to follow.
The UHaul syndrome is common. My friends “Mary” & “Sue” (I don’t use peoples’ actual names on this kind of forum) have been together for six years, & lived together for the last two, with their dogs.
And what IS it with you guys & your dogs?! Every single lesbian I know has at least one dog. Or a horse (this being Colorado.) Come to think of it, all the childless women I know have dogs :D, I have three. Never mind. [sub] I refuse to call my dogs my kids though.[/sub]
Okay, that’s a deal. When I get my butt out to Denver, we’re partying. And when I was in law school, I was part of that lesbian law school contingent. What fun!
And all the lesbians I know have cats, not dogs! The girl I’m currently seeing (I’m smitten kitten) has 4 cats. I haven’t mentioned yet that I’m allergic to cats. Shhhh, don’t tell her. I’ve stocked up on allergy medication.
Tibs
aka Smitty Kitten
I’m curious about first encounters. If you’re in a situation where you want to make an approach to a woman you’re attracted to, can you often tell that they are lesbian? Or have you ever made an advance in the hope that?
Well, meeting people in lesbian places generally helps one’s quest.
It depends on the situation, really. Sometimes it’s pretty obvious when you’re mutually attracted, sometimes the situation requires some delicate feeling out of the other person.
I have personally never hit on a girl that I knew identified as completely straight.
Well, not seriously. [sub]I do have a reputation to uphold, ya know…[/sub]
Oh, one more thing, toon. There’s this phenomenon called “gaydar”. Basically, in a lot of situations, gay (and straight, sometimes) people can tell when another person is “in the club.” I don’t really know how to explain it, but it exists. There’s a lot of subtle things that can help you figure out if someone is queer.
Of course, there’s always the more direct approach.
I think Colorado is just a very dog friendly state. Folks move there, think “I’m gonna’ lead the Colorado lifestyle,” and within a few weeks they’re the proud owners of a Nissan Pathfinder and a chocolate Lab, the official dog of the City and County of Denver. Considering that, stereotypically, lesbians seem to have more “rugged” tastes than straight women, and it becomes evident why dogs, and Colorado as a whole, are so popular. (I’m a straight male, I’ll admit, but that’s just a thoery. True? I dunno – probably not.)
I’m wondering about the Subaru connection. Seriously, I was considering buying a Subaru Outback, but I noted that almost all of them on the road were driven by rather “rugged” looking women, and about half of 'em have rainbow stickers in the window. Are Subarus to lesbians the same as Volkswagen Cabrios to blondes?
Can a straight male have gaydar? For some reason, I think I have damn good gaydar for a “breeder.” Take my apartment complex, for instance. In my building, there’s two guys who live together – both exactly the same height and build. They leave their windows open all the time, and it’s impossible not to notice that they’re always walking around shirtless. (You have to park in front of their unit, and driving in you can see right into their window.) Seems like with most gay male couples I know, both partners are exactly the same height, exactly the same build. I know this is “ask the lesbian,” but my gay male friends don’t have an answer for the “guy seeks clone” thing. What up wit’ dat?
To be honest, it was something like 15 years ago, when I went with a bunch of people from my dorm. This one girl I was sorta’ kinda’ dating was very eager to check out the lesbian bars. I was the last man she ever kissed.
BTW, my comment about Subarus was poorly worded, looking back on it. No, I didn’t decide not to buy an Outback because it seemed like a “lesbian car” – it’s still on the list. The comment certainly counds like that, though. Sorry for any potential misunderstanding.
Elmwood- Subaru has done a lot of marketing to the lesbian community. Ads where cars had license plates of “Xenafan” have been common in gay papers. They’re percieved as a gay friendly car company, and the gay community tends to appreciate that.
I think people of all sexual orientations can have gaydar. I think that gay people have better gaydar, though, as a necessity.
I would say that couples tend to look alike after a time together regardless of their gender breakdown.
Gaydar…I can’t explain it, but it definitely exists! I have fairly good gaydar. It goes beyond the physical identifiers like BDH (Basic Dyke Haircut), manner of dress, or knowing what rainbow stickers on Subarus mean.
Subarus…Yes, I have heard that they market to the lesbian community, too. Great cars, I used to have one. Are there cars that gay men more typically drive? I only know two gay men…one drives a newer Buick, one a Range Rover.
Xena…The roomate of a friend of mine had a full size Xena cardboard cut out. She had to keep Xena turned to the wall, because her two Golden Retrievers would attack it.
Dogs…Yes, Colorado is an outdoorsy, dog friendly state. Dogs collectively owned by lesbians I know: Dalmation, Great Dane, matching set of blonde Cockers, small brown mutt, black Cocker, husky, Newfie, large brown mutt, flat coat retriever, big white mutt, Rottweiler-x.
Gaydar has to do with (length of) eye contact.
When a straight man looks at an attractive woman, he looks at her for three or four seconds, makes (or tries to make) eye contact, and gives her a little smile. When the same guy sees a man (attractive or not) he just gives him a split-second glance and doesn’t smile.
Too bad Oldsmobile didn’t realize that before GM decided to phase out the division. Hopefully, Subaru’s marketing is tasteful, and doesn’t cater to stereotypes.
Let me be the first to stand up and say, “I have no gaydar.” That’s not entirely true - I probably have better gaydar than the average person but can be completely clueless at times. As an example, I’ll share with you how I met the girl I am currently seeing.
About 2 - 2 1/2 months ago, I was at a local pub with a group of friends (including Dynosaur!) where she is a server. One of my guy friends announced that he was going to try to get her phone number. We all agreed she was attractive (long, dark, curly hair…yowza!) and bid him good luck. He went over there and came back grinning, with her number.
About 2 months after that, I was at a gay bar. I saw the same girl there - she came up to me and said, “Heeeyy! You’re (guy friend’s) friend! I saw you when you came into (pub)!”
me: “Yeah! How’d that work out? Did he call you?”
her: (wrinkled her nose and said): “Well…yes, he called but we didn’t go out.”
me: “That’s too bad!”
her: “How come you haven’t been to (pub) lately?”
me: “I was just there for lunch today!”
her: “Well,…I only work in the evenings…I work tomorrow night…why don’t you come in?”
me (thinking to myself, “is there something new on the menu in the evenings that I am unaware of?”): “Uh…I’m going to the ACLU dinner…”
her: “Oh…okay…” Then she wanders off to find her friends.
All my friends start pounding me in the arm asking me why I didn’t get her phone number. I said, “I think she’s straight…?” They all laughed and said, “You’re fucking clueless.” SOOO then I went scrambling across the bar to find her before she left and got her number. Apparently, when my guy friend approached her, he had said something like, “Yeah…I’m here with that group…that’s Holly…that’s Tibs…she’s the lesbian…” etc. So she’d been keeping an eye out for me to come into the pub while she was working! How’s that for me being clueless? (She had apparently given him her number because she felt on the spot and thought that I might see it.)
As for what I normally do when I am going to hit on someone…I don’t look away when they look at me. That’s the simplest way. If they keep looking back, then I have a hint. Of course, if they are hitting on me, I am completely an utterly clueless (as evidenced above). 
Tibs.
Eye contact is definately a part of gaydar, but it’s not the whole thing.
Especially with lesbians, who can be a lot harder to pick out. I don’t “look gay,” nor does quietgirl.
[sub]No, not sex with animals, you pervs![/sub]
When I have seen obviously gay men walking their dogs, I have noticed that their dogs are almost exclusively male, usually of large, powerful breeds. Do lesbians dog-owners have tend towards having dogs of one sex or another?
Billdo, (be careful where you put that thing around here :D)…you obviously haven’t walked around Cheeseman Park in Denver. Never saw so many big gorgeous men walking effete trembly wee dogs like Italian Greyhounds & whatever-poos.
Women, no matter what our orientation, have real dogs, dammit. Big, bouncy, vigorous ones with teeth. Ones that chase balls (hey, hmmm…wait…haha) and climb mountain trails with us and retrieve things from lakes and make our pickup trucks and Subarus smell like damp kennels. Can’t stuff a Rottie in a Mazda Miata, you silly, now can you?