What the hell did my car ever do to you?

The BBQ Pit
1

It wasn’t taking up too much space. It wasn’t too close to your car. It was also parked in a very unobtrusive area, far from the store.

So tell me why, you cowardly little hen fucker, you chose to key my BRAND NEW CAR?! Do you get jealous when you see something shiny, new, and most importanly, NOT YOURS?! Was it the blue paint that sparked interest in that stagnant conglomeration of fecal matter you call your brain? What were you thinking? “Oooh! oooh! oooh! Me touch pretty paint!” Not quite as evolved as the rest of humanity, eh?

If nothing else, you’ve proven that you’re very good at attacking defenseless automobiles. You managed to scratch every single panel on the driver’s side. Nice, deep scratches too - nothing that I can buff out. You do good work… your mother must be very proud… That is, if bilge rats are capable of pride, you miserable swine-felching, donkey-squicking, worthless waste of 80% water and a bucket of whale shit. Next time, try that stunt in front of the car’s owner.

May you spend eternal damnation in the company of a child molester and a used car salesman.

Wanker…

2

Excelent cut down. That was just first rate. I had some dickwad do that to my car about a year ago, and it pisses me off every time I see it too. :mad:

3

Maybe it was’t a key, maybe the fucktard used his prince Albert. You hadn’t thought of that now, had you?

4

Yeah but Prince Albert was in the can.

Lazlo go and watch the scene in Pulp Fiction where John Travolta is chating with his dealer.

5

Yeah, a couple of friends of mine have already said, “No trial, no jury… straight to execution.”

Edward the Head: Thanks!