What the hell is wrong with everything anyway?

soda, were I single, I would be on the plane to meet you, and apply for the “rebound” relationship, at this very moment. (OK, waiting for the grammar corrections…)

If you feel anything for your ex, it should be pity - the dope let you go, and he’ll never find another like you. He should have fought for you against all the forces tearing you apart, and worshipped the ground you walk on. That poor slob will never know true happiness, and you will most certainly find a more deserving, more handsome, more virile mate in no time.

As for coctail of choice, I used to like Vodka Tonic, but from today on I’ll have soda.

Let’s just break this down a little, shall we?

  1. You broke up with a guy, he’s out of your life, and he’s not stalking you.

  2. He’s got a new girl to distract and whip him so you can be sure he won’t be back to bother you.

  3. You just got laid.
    Great hopping electrons! I haven’t had a day that good in years! Quit your bitching right now. Either that or send photos of last night, take your pick.