I think you’re all fukked in the head. I pity those who will post in any inane thread just to make themselves feel important. Just because you’re fugly, two-bagger, potty-mouthed swine lovers doesn’t mean you can hide anonymously behind your computer screen posting away like you’re a normal person. Get real!
Specifically, Flamsterette’s problem is that she’s only got 7 toes and 3 fingers and still manages to post over 300 times per day (2/3 of which are to correct spelling mistakes from previous posts).
Horseflesh, you’re problem is so huge, so massively huge that I don’t know if I can contain it in one post! Where do I begin??
You stole your name from a movie character that the coolest ever comedy troup helped produce, in the hopes that some of their creativity would rub off on you. Well, it didn’t!
You have a naughty sense of humor and you like lieu! You actually like this Doper! Good God, man!
You also think the sun revolves around you but you’re just in its space, pal.
You need a dose of reality, bro! Get outside the box and see.
OK, next?
Spidee
Your problem is your obvious love of self…I mean, you have a thread floating around that you started with only two replies, both from you. What’s up with that?
jesleigh, your problem should be blatantly obvious to anybody on this board.
You work in pharmacy and just can’t say no to all the little voices coming from the bottles saying “Drink me! Eat me! Swallow me!” Then Quaismodo comes in once a day and comments on how good-lookin’ you are, not noticing for a second that you’re a quivering mass of seizures on the floor and are bleeding from every orifice. Just say no, jesleigh, just say no.
Your porblem is you want someone to do you. You really should stop looking for validation form other people, especially when it involves sexual intercourse. Try tai-chi.
You know what your problem is Chavardz? You mistype frequently (porblem, form) and perhaps that happens because you are as native spanish speaker as me.
Come on!, if the next’s so brave then tell me what my problem is.
Your problems don’t end with your extreme cowardice, Grousser. Not only are you scared of the dark, your shadow, trees, lint, and the planet Neptune, but your inability to punch your way out of prison made of wet Kleenex ranks right up there with that time you almost strangled yourself with a limp string of spaghetti.
Your Spanish speaking abilities rivals that of any two-year-old North Korean girl, and you’re not fooling any of the authorities by hiding out in Mexico. They’re just waiting for you to come out of your cardboard box and actually talk to somebody so they can nab you in full daylight and do a full body cavity search so the public (and media) can have a show.
You’ve got problems, buddy.
Okay, who’s going to open their big, fat yap about my problem(s)?
What could be wrong with you, SiX? What isn’t wrong with you?!?
Let’s start with your absolute ineptness at identifying parts of the human anatomy (it’s my left buttock, fer chrissakes, not my left ear). Then we can move on to your spastic control of the shift keys on your keyboard. You see anybody else on this board with 4 capital letters in a single word screen name? And how about that location? Who but you would admit to living in a van down by The River? An unheated van in winter, no less.
Lastly, your lick-tac-toe skillz leave a lot to be desired. Try playing against your pets until you can win and then give me a holler.
What a load of manure you are, Horseflesh. Not horse manure, either. Heck, not even bullhockey. Nope, you’re just a steaming, reeking heap of pigshit disguised as Alpo-meat. I know all about what you do when little old ladies ask for help getting across a street. Who do you think you are – some kind of one-horse reliever of the burden on Social Security? Besides, you can’t possibly kill off enough oldsters to balance the budget. At least, not all by yourself.
All right, you wannabe analysts – analyze THIS!! <POW>
You are a violent female, ETF and you’re username takes YEARS to type out. Girl, give our eyes a rest! Stop being such a meanie and hardass! Stop kicking lieu in the nuts, woman. He’s crying like a prissy, lil’ tween at a Justin Timberlake concert. Go and make nice…
Alright, pseudo-Freuds, jump on my bandwagon!
SanguineSpider, your problem is that you were foolish enough to choose as your user name a word which causes an almost immediate phobic reaction in about half of the Dopers who read your posts. The other half don’t know what “Sanguine” means. So the ones that aren’t put off by you are ignorant and the ones who cringe everytime they see you post are the very people you would want for friends – the smartest ones.
You make a lot of bad choices, lady. Why not choose something less offensive like Cruel Crud or Pond Scum? :rolleyes:
Also, you misspell all right just as if you work for some DVD captioning company. Don’t you have any goals in life???
Zoe Your problem is you assume people on this board are not as smart as they really are, you need to be aware that this boards tend to attract smart people, some smarter than you. (Of cours mi smartenes jas bin wel documented).
Also, Grouser I am a native spanish speaker, but that’s not my problem. My problem is I type too fast and sometimes press keys before I should. My english is pretty good. I was trying to mail you, but the system wouldn’t let me. You can mail me at the address shown on my profile.
Chavardz, Chavardz, Chavardz… (sigh) Where should I begin? Shall we start with the “native Spanish speaker”? Just which native? You do realize that speakers of the pure Castilian Spanish are laughing at you behind your back? That “provincial” is the kindest thing they say?
And that hair, that hair! You could get a better cut at a slaughterhouse. Or do you offer your head for people to try out their new lawnmowers on?
I’d get into your clothing next, but frankly, you couldn’t pay me to get into those clothes, with or without you already in them. You really ought to get your eyes checked for colorblindness – I say this as a friend.
And now, just which friend of mine has some gentle hints to offer me???
you know, EddyTeddyFreddy It is altogather too easy to address your issues with the cats and the obvious underlying avoidant personality disorder, so instead I will point out your multiple personality disorder. I mean, when you talk, do you know who you are? Do you meow to yourself in your dreams?
You know what your problem is SiXSwordS? You’re an outright liar. And another thing! What’s with the name? I mean, is it pronounced sick-swords or is it more like six-words? Or are you one of those pansies that has to enunciate, like “six”-“swords”??? It’s really inconsiderate, you know. Perhaps you should have a signature line with the phonetics of your name so we can make fun of you out loud, not just in this thread!
Ghanima–Who are you to talk about weird, pretentious names?! What the hell is a Ghanima, exactly, anyway? An anima from Ghana? Who in his or her right mind, or in the possession of any mind at all, would name him or herself after some screwball, kludged together cockamamie combo of a Jungian force and western Africa? What is this bizarro stuff?
You think SiXSwordS should explain the phonetics of his/her/its name? Well, I think you should explain what wacked-out drug trip inspired yours!
Other than the fact that you named yourself after a bunch of chicken scratches jotted down by an incontinent two-year-old? Hmph.
You’re no fun. You’re dry. You’re dust in the wind. Humor bounces off of you like like a flubberized boat anchor. The last bit of fun was squeezed out of you years ago and you resemble nothing more than a tightly coiled, crusty-topped tube of toothpaste. Go brush your teeth, they just turned another darker shade of brown.
Your problem, Horseflesh, is that you couldn’t tell a good joke from a mile off, even if it was firing off Roman candles while blaring the national anthem. If a joke isn’t so obvious that it may as well be announced by a gong, you don’t get it. So you think anyone with a sense of humor more subtle than a 10-car pileup on the freeway at rush hour is no more than a drab dullard, when, in fact, the true pleasures of life are passing you by.
Try to enjoy life a little more. It would make you so much more pleasant. Go outside. Enjoy the weather. Try taking a nap in a hammock now and then. Go on vacation. Go far away on vacation–so far away that the rest of us can’t smell you, for once. When was the last time you took a shower, anyway? Ten years ago? Twenty? We could probably excavate the dirt on your skin and come up with the archaeological evidence for the existence of Sodom!
Scribble, your problem is so bad I really can’t talk about it. I’ll give you some hints though. First of all, look in the mirror before going out. Second, zits so big they’re popping by themselves are not attractive. Third, retainers and protect protectors are not jewelry. Orange colored shirts are not “sprucing it up”. Sleeveless shirts are to be worn exclusively by people who weigh no more than a fourth of what you weigh.
The voices in your head are not your “friends”, anything they tell you to do is either illegal, immoral or downright ugly.
And to top it all off:
Are not suitable interests. EddyTeddyFreddy Chingas a tu madre. (I say that with no intention of personally offending you )
)