For someone who’s “always afraid someone [would] be offended,” you sure were quick to come in and tell us that we’re doing our message board wrong.
Without any malice, and in all sincerity, I suggest you make up your mind to lurk for a while. Resume posting when you stop worrying about who might be offended by any mockery you might decide to fling.
And welcome to the SDMB. 
Welcome to you, too, Girlundone.
Some people are easily offended by swearing and vicious personal insults.
That’s what I meant. My criticisms did not involve either of those. I try to make sure they never do, for reasons I’ve already mentioned.
The SDMB has several fora where we will argue endlessly with idiots, usually newcomers like yourself, to prevent lurkers from concluding that the idiot is right and that the collapse of the WTC was a controlled demolition, açaí berries cure cancer, the US should return to the gold standard, and Rush is the greatest band EVAH. The Pit is different. Here we get to yell at and about those people and their nonsensical beliefs, as well as employers who are morons and drivers who stop licking their spew from a goat’s asshole to honk at me because I don’t speed shift when pulling away from a green light. While there are Pit threads that provide intelligent discussion of current events, that is not its purpose.
Shortly after joining, I, too, posted a thread about how infantile I found the Pit. I was told then some wise words that I have passed along to many new members: Stay out of the Pit until you’ve been here long enough to know the ropes. Remember that most of us are nice people who sometimes chafe under the yoke of being nice, but instead of machine gunning the lady in the next cubical who keeps pronouncing “gigabytes” as “gigglebytes,” “giggerbytes,” or worst of all, “megabytes,” we behave like the nerds we are and complain on the innertubes.
:rolleyes: Dude, whatever.
My advice above stands. So does my welcome, at least for the time being. 
You still think he’s a newcomer.
How ADORABLE.
[QUOTE=get lives]
Some people are easily offended by swearing and vicious personal insults.
[/QUOTE]
Its like how when I go into a church, I get really offended with all the “god talk” and “praying”. I mean, seriously…I am an atheist. Those members of the congregation really should respect my beliefs and alter their behavior to suit my needs. God, that’s so annoying when I go to church. Ugh… You know what I mean?
[QUOTE=get lives]
How would you feel about your sons behaving like some of the more insulting members here, if they grow up and have otherwise-productive lives?
[/QUOTE]
Well, hopefully I’ve taught them well and they will be able to keep up. They grew some nads a long time ago, so that part is done.
Is this like a church of South Florida white guy culture? Perhaps you believe in the Gospel according to Tucker Max? ROFL
get lives: You just joined a couple of days ago and you have this huge chip on your shoulder about just about everyone on this site. So, pray tell, what are the answers to the following questions:
[ol][li]Why are you blaming others for your problems?[/li][li]What was your previous user name here?[/li][li]When did you get banned here?[/li][li]Why did you get banned here?[/li]What benefit do you get from trolling this site?[/ol]
get lives,
You appear obtuse. I mean that in the nicest way.
(((Hugs)))
This is exactly what the OP is talking about. References to flinging poo are not allowed at SDMB.
I think we should just skip the ‘welcome’ and call him a fart-knocking goat felcher, and leave it at that.
well, Kaylasdad is one of the nicest posters around here. I find him to be sincere, thoughtful and gentle. Sometimes I try to model my style (such as it may be) with his example in mind. I don’t see anything wrong with kaylasdad giving the loving greeting, and then the rioting can commence. OTOH, I suspect the OP is a time-limited opportunity, so you’d best felch whilst you can!
And yes, welcome to girlundone, already proving a welcome voice. And I’m pretty sure Dropzone hasn’t read the whole thread.
Thanks for the welcomes kaylasdad and Truman Burbank.
:: Wanders in. Eats a banana. Leaves ::
Aw, shucks, Truman Burbank, you’re gonna make me blush! 
I am a newcomer, and guessed almost immediately that OP is a repeat performer.
What’s my prize? 
To anyone over 30, Tucker Max is rather irrelevant; references to him even less so.
In the quest to uncover your previous incarnation, we do have at least one clue. You are very young
Maybe you should look up [url=Parable - Wikipedia]parable
The five monkeys in a cage grabbing for bananas and getting sprayed story is not told as a parable. It is told in management books and presentations as the exact account of a scientific experiment which needs to be explained to managers or prospective managers who can’t be bothered to look at the original article. Reading scientific articles is the job of those fussy technical people who understand details, which of course isn’t the job of managers. You can’t allow technical people to be managers, of course, since that would get in the way of understanding the big picture (and, more importantly, fitting that big picture in a pre-established management paradigm). You can’t even allow technical people to directly talk to the managers, since their understanding of details might pollute the minds of the managers and prevent them from worrying about the big picture. You have to have a level of people between those technical people and the managers whose job is to wildly oversimplify and distort the ideas that the technical people are trying to get across. That way these intermediate people can sufficiently stretch the true detailed story enough to make it fit into the pre-existing mindset of the managers.
Look, you want to look as the five monkeys in a cage grabbing for bananas and getting sprayed story as a parable? O.K., let’s look what lesson that story (as told in the OP and various management books and presentations) seems to be preaching: It’s saying that at one point long ago in your corporation someone tried something new. It didn’t work out. After that point, everyone else in the corporation was afraid to try new things. It didn’t matter that eventually everyone who actually saw the new idea not work out has since left. Just the collective memory that a new idea didn’t work has prevented people from trying new ideas. So, the management consultant says, you should try new ideas all over the place. Think outside of the box. Change everything, no matter how much it seems to threaten the corporation. Your whining that the new idea might destroy the organization is like the monkeys complaining that at one point they got sprayed with a hose.
That’s a fairly terrible management lesson. Furthermore, it doesn’t teach most people anything new and useful. Any intelligent person and any intelligent corporation (and any intelligent institution at all) knows already that sometimes but not always new ideas are useful. You should try them if they seem reasonable. Occasionally they won’t work, but that’s a chance you should take. You have to make a compromise between never changing and always changing everything. There’s no really good rule for when changing is best.
Furthermore, the story in the OP has almost nothing with the point that the OP was trying to make. The story is not about monkeys quarreling for no reason at all. It was about monkeys beating newcomers to their cage because those newcomers don’t understand something that happened before. Even taken as a parable, it’s not a parable applicable to the point the OP was trying to make.