What to Ask An Alien?

Hi ho,

I’m writing a short story where at one point a person is allowed to sit down with a representative of an alien species and ask him/her/it some questions. I’m having a mind-blank on the sort of questions I’d like to ask an alien. Any top-tens?


Aside from the usual questions about where they came from, technology, and intentions, you could have 'em ask the alien species about the universe (depending on the character and interests, etc…), if they know how it formed and the mysteries that we want to know.

I can’t think of anything I’d personally ask, aside from the usual stuff.

I would ask them about religion. If they have a concept of a god and if so has he/she visited them. And what their moral absolutes are.

Sex - or more politely “How do they reproduce?” :confused:

I would be curious about many things, some already mentioned. In addition, I’d like to know how their economy worked, how they exploited natural resources and how they governed themselves.

And what radio stations they listened to on the way in.

So, what’s the deal with the anal probes?

somebody had to say it.

Where are your erogenous zones?

Just what do you use that extra appendage for, and is it an arm, a pseudopod, or an eyestalk?

Just how do you pronounce your name again?

You gave me an excellent idea. Why not ask the alien about their questions about the universe?

Me: So, Xixack, what’s bugging your species?
Xixack: Well, we always wanted to know the meaning of life.
Me: Great! So do we!
Xixack: And why our planet rains cheap ballpoint pens and matchless socks.

Then we work from there.

well, sex and religion have already been asked. I’d be very interested in their biology and the evolution of life on their planet (or whatever regional anomaly they might otherwise have evolved in)

Other than that, just small talk and see what … pops up?

“Can you give me a sample of your blood and tissue?”
“Can you tell me how to build an interstellar spaceship like yours?”

“When come back bring pie?”

“Is it correct that a warlike species has a very low chance of making it to interstellar travel?”

Does “eep op ork ah ah” really mean “I love you”?

Shall we indulge in rishathra?

“Is time travel possible?”
“Are you going to annhilate the earth?”
“Do you have prince albert in a can?”

(gratuitous Simpson’s quote)

Surely you can’t kill all our politicians ?


Take me to your leader.

Does your homeworld have a unified world government?

Have you met any other species?

How long has your society been space faring?

May I interest you in a great way to make money in your own time… there is this company, called Amway, which…

“Have you registered with the Immigration and Naturalization Service this January?”

When I was a kid they showed these primitive cartoons early ( about 7 AM) every Saturday morning telling aliens to register with the INS every January. As a comic book and SF-loving geek, I couldn’t help but think of it in terms of extraterrestrials. This was helped by the really poor graphics they used, which made the registering alien (supposed to be some guy in a blue suit) look like he really was an ET.

What do your people think of my people?

How do we measure up, developement/behavior/cultural-wise, compared to other species?

We need something to compare ourselves to, people!

42 ?