My uncle Owen died in June, and I’m the administrator of his estate. A week or so ago, I got a package in the mail ($10 postage due) from some friends of his – a couple of nice shirts in Christmas wrapping. Obviously they don’t know he’s dead.
I found their phone number and have tried to call them half a dozen times to let them know. They’ve never been home, and it doesn’t feel right for me just to leave a voice mail that their friend is dead. And the message sounds like a very old person – for all I know they went south for the winter and won’t be back for some time.
I could just mail the package back. I could leave a voice mail. I could just hold onto everything and try again in summer. The money doesn’t matter – I’ll pay the postage out of the estate funds.
My inclination is to give the clothes to the Good Will, but I don’t feel all that comfortable doing that without talking to these folks.
Yep, leave a message asking them to get in touch with you and then once you’ve had a chance to tell them about what happened directly (not on voice mail) ask them what they want you to do with the gift.
If they’re snowbirds they’ve more than likely set up mail forwarding. Send them one of the cards from the funeral home and/or church service along with a note.
After you finally contact them to tel them he’s dead, I would then ask about the present.
Return it to them.
Offer to take it to a charity in town and I don’t mean Goodwill. Nursing homes and shelters would love to receive these for guests. A church would also pass this on to somebody that needs a shirt.
I don’t think they care about the present. The most important item here is breaking the news to them as best you can.
I still remember taking my mother back to visit with relatives and the first person she asked about upon arrival had passed on. You could see it in her eyes that it took the life right out of her. It was one of her oldest friends.
I’d say send a personal note to the return address on the package. Give them your contact information so they can get in touch if they need to talk to you about it. Be sure the note is as much like telling them in person as you can make it. Do you know anything about your uncle’s relationship with this person?
The shirts can be dealt with after the important stuff has been taken care of.