I hate Christmas this year (again, with possible request for advice)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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I tried to search for my original “I hate Christmas” thread but screwed it up and I’m impatient. Anyway, it dealt with my parents’ impending divorce and how Christmas is going to be difficult.

My mother called tonight to tell me that my uncle (one of her older brothers) will be dead in the next couple of days. He was diagnosed with lymphoma a few months ago. Unfortunately it was one of the rare difficult ones; his kidneys are now failing and he has refused dialysis since they pretty much told him it would only prolong the inevitable. I can respect this decision. My mom said she thought he had more fight in him, but I figured it’s a control thing. Anyway, he’s now in hospice.

I don’t want to call the family, since they’re going through a difficult time. We’re not particularly close, but a vacation I spent down there four years ago was one of the best of my life and I’d like him to know that before he goes, if possible. I’m thinking of overnighting a card to the house, or to the hospice if I can figure out which it is. Does that sound feasible? Should I call?

I can’t sleep. This makes me really sad. I feel so bad for my mom. Mom feels bad for him, and his grandkids - she says he was so excited.

I’m thinking of making a cross-stitch that says “Christmas 2008 - Yay Memories!” with a passed out stick figure and a bottle of “XXX” booze. Mom might appreciate it.

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call, but still send the card.

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I would call your Uncle, I’m sure he would love to talk to you, and he would appriciate hearing that you have such good memories of him. If you think your Mom would “get” the cross-stitch, do it!

I too am having another difficult Christmas, but we just need to put our head down, be kind to people and get through it. And we will. Take care of yourself.

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Moot point; he died last night. He went very peacefully.

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I’m sorry to hear about your loss. May you gain strength from your loss.

My Day called me three years ago today to tell me he had jaundice and was not well. Two months later he was dead from pancreatic cancer. I mourned but moved on.
This is my first Christmas since I split from my wife and mother of my two kids. In a way it is refreshing but change is always challenging and stressful.
We’ll both try to move forward and search for ways to give joy this season.