My main worry, when I saw a physician in college (a woman) when I thought I had an inguinal hernia, was that I would have an erection when she was examining me. I can’t recall if I did or not but even if I did I’m sure in hindsight she couldn’t care less.
I made the same joke when I broke and split open the tip of my finger a couple summers ago, to the doc who treated it. I was embarrassed even as I was saying it but I just couldn’t help myself.
“Will I be able to play guitar after this?”
“Sure.”
“That’s great, I couldn’t play before!”
I expected a groan and was surprised when I actually got a genuine laugh. He was a young doc but I figured even the young ones would’ve heard that one a million times.
Doctor: Now we’ll do your prostate exam. Please drop your pants and bend over.
Patient: OK. (does as instructed)
Doctor: This time, Dave, try not to get aroused.
Patient: My name’s not Dave.
Doctor: I know, that’s my name.
When I was in college, I worked part time as a clerk in the Labor and Delivery area of a hospital. I needed a gynecologist and all the nurses recommended Dr. Smith. He was really personable and friendly at work. When I had my exam, I found out that he stuttered, but only during the pap smear part. I asked around at work and found out he was always like this. Everyone laughed about it but never in a making fun of him way because he was such a sweet guy. He couldn’t help it. He was a great doctor and I went to him for years.
My doctor and I discuss whatever happens to pop up.
Sports, music, covid. No politics.
I see what you did there.
Moderating:
The OP asked that we keep discussion in this thread serious and clean. Both these jokes are inappropriate. Knock it off, please.
No warnings issued.
Ding ding.
Do you have an on topic question? Ask it. Just like for the skin or ears exam. There is no expectation to make off topic conversation during the skin or ear exams, good reason to mention on topic concerns, and good reason to otherwise let the health professional focus on the exam.
“The two sides seem different” “Is this thing here (pointing at a specific thing) normal?” “These bumps?” …
Those are reasonable things to say. Don’t be shy about on topic questions.
About to get a prostate exam, I said I don’t know who this is going to be harder for.
I’m not very sensitive about who sees my body, and while i don’t enjoy having my privates examined, i don’t hate it.
But when my (male) PCP asked if I’d prefer having his (female) nurse do the pap smear, i said, “yes”.
I have asked a male dermatologist about a rash on my vulva. That might have embarrassed him more than me. He was professional, though, and gave me good advice.
The dermatological exam that maybe made me feel most awkward was recently, when the dermatologist asked me to remove my mask. I felt more vulnerable than i expected to.
I go to a teaching hospital. It’s true that i get random extra people looking at stuff. But… They haven’t seen it before. They are actually interested in my common rash, or whatever. I feel like i get an extra chance for someone to notice anything that needs to be noticed.
I did feel really awkward when i went to get in IUD inserted, and the gynecologist asked if her student (a man) could try to do it. He aspired to being a family doctor, and was doing a rotation in gynecology to learn the basics. And i thought … a family doctor ought to be able to insert an IUD, what the hell. So I gave permission.
He failed, and it was really painful. But the doctor gave him very explicit feedback, and i got the IUD, and he got some useful experience. So i felt it was worth it, despite the awkwardness.
As someone who had minor (1A) melanoma years ago and now has to get once-every six month skin inspections from a dermatologist, a standard part of that is…a complete skin inspection, including every private area of your body. I’m pretty used to it and don’t think much of it.
“Great weather lately”
“What are you doing on the weekend?”
Living in a semi tropic climate, the various bugs on my skin seem to enjoy the humidity as well. There isn’t anything my dermatologist hasn’t seen before. The nurse pulls the privacy screen, and I show what need to be shown to the doctor and she give the prescription and we’re finished.
Once had a kidney stone removed, and they put in a stent and left it in for 2 weeks, then I had to come back to have that removed. The guy PA explained the procedure to me: first he cleans the end of my penis with an antiseptic, then injects an anesthetic gel into the ureteral of the penis, then the doctor inserts an instrument in there, grabs the end of the stent, and removes it.
Then he gives me a gown, and says to remove all clothing below my waist and put that on. Then he pulls the curtain over the alcove, saying he’ll give me some privacy to undress. About a few seconds into undressing, I tell him “Given what you’re about to do to me, I don’t think my privacy matters much right now!” He did laugh a bit at that.
Well, when I was having a vasectomy he said, “it might feel like I’m squeezing your left nut here”, and I said, “yep, that’s what it feels like”, then we went back to chatting about the weather and stuff.
I much prefer having a female do GYN stuff. Less uncomfortable psychologically for me, and women tend to have smaller hands, so less physical discomfort. Also, a woman’s been on a similar table having the same things done to her, so she knows what it’s like and is likely to be a bit gentler about it.
Trust me, it’s awkward for the doctor too. It doesn’t really seem like a good time to make small talk. When I am examining a male, I usually ask “Any problems recently?” then the best tip I got was to always add “Everything looks normal here” unless of course it doesn’t.
During a female exam I usually spend more time explaining exactly what I am doing because they can’t always see.
The rational perspective says there’s nothing to be embarrassed about: your body is a machine, and you are visiting the mechanic for an annual inspection. But we are not entirely rational. We are human, we have emotional responses to life. If you took a public opinion survey, I expect you’d find that most people are embarrassed or anxious about a genital/rectal exam. We’re all taught growing up that we shouldn’t be exposing these parts of our bodies to anybody else: we poop/pee in private, we shower/get dressed in private, we are chastised/shamed if someone else does see these parts of our body. Many people have difficulty setting those emotional responses aside in situations where they would be better served by a purely rational response. It’s probably more normal than not.
I don’t find prostate exams or hernia checks to be pleasant, but I’m able to deal with them without feeling a need to make small talk, and would prefer that the doctor keep things on topic as well. It’s best to have the space to raise matters related to the exam, e.g. asking the doc about symptoms you’ve had since your last visit.
Count me as someone who is no more concerned about a genital exam than a shoulder exam or feeling for swollen glands in my neck. It’s a body part, covered in skin, just like the rest of my body parts, yah? I really don’t get the anxiety associated with this. And I’m not judging, I’m suggesting a thought process to use to alleviate anxiety.
My guy was talking with the nurse, kind of a training, she must have been new to the office, or to the procedure. He mentioned the last patient, then said that in comparison my anatomical structure was “ideal”. I desperately wanted to make a crack about how he should explain this to my wife, but then I remembered he had sharp things jammed into my scrotum at the time.
For more general privates related things, I’m finding myself firmly in Old Man who DGAF territory. You know the weird old dudes at the YMCA who just walk around letting it all flop around like Whoa! Cover yourself up! That’s where I’m headed.