Situation: 47 year old man and woman are married and love each other very much. The woman was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 42. The medication she takes causes intercourse to be too painful to participate in sex? Keep in mind that the 47 year old white man is 6 feet tall, 230 pounds, mostly black salt and pepper hair, green eyes and in fair shape. He is generous, loving, kind and very unhappy with his life. What would you suggest he do to be happy with his life again?
Why does it matter that he’s a white man? Or what he looks like?. Maybe he should just use some of that “loving” quality you said he has and direct that towards his wife who needs him now more than ever! He should stop being so selfish, rub one out as needed and let his wife know that everything is fine and he loves her more than ever because sex doesn’t define their relationship.
Said couple needs to also recognize that there are other forms of sexual expression than just penile-vaginal intercourse.
First thing he could do is post in the correct forum. IMHO. Moved from General Questions.
samclem, Moderator
If he had blue eyes, I’d suggest he try to hook up with other people on internet message boards, but green eyes are a deal killer.
Well, you’re asking, so here it comes:
I suggest he stop posting his description on the Web, and be glad he has somebody who loves him - and whom he loves - very much.
Find other ways to love, not other people.
Buy a FleshLight. It’s about as much pleasure as you deserve.
OK, here you go: he should go out on the sly and find a sexy, willing partner, maybe about 30-35, who will allow him to satisfy his desire for intercourse while his wife is home, unaware. Because he deserves it.
Is that what you were hoping to see? :rolleyes:
If you’re in an honest, loving relationship, then surely the best thing to do is to talk about what would make you both happier.
Some wives might accept the husband needs an ‘outlet’.
Some wives might reveal they were scared they would be deserted.
Some wives might discuss how they could please their husband with no pain.
Some wives would be upset to see this thread, in which the husband appears only interested in what he wants.
Couldn’t have said it better myself. Well written, Bear_Nenno.
Your hypothetical 47 year old man’s wife is currently in a fight for her life. I’m sure that sexytimes are low on her priority list right now, as they should be while she freakin’ fights for her life.
Anal.
So we know it’s not his huge cock that’s the problem.
“Honey, my gynecologist says I should not have vaginal penetration.”
“What does the dentist say?”
What if the OP is the wife in this situation? Would your answers change?
Good one!
I have the perfect solution that leaves everyone blameless but it’s for someone who’s 225 pounds; dang, so close. Any chance you can excise 5 pounds of hubris and resubmit?
Then I would say:
Don’t assume that his unhappiness has anything to do with your inability to engage in vaginal intercourse. Most likely, his concern for you is visible on his face. A loving, caring husband probably feels helpless watching his wife battle cancer. Not surprising that he would seem unhappy with his life. He has to watch the one person he loves most in the world suffer through a fight with cancer.
I suggest you talk to him. Get him involved. Have him help you with even the simple things so he doesn’t feel so helpless. Let him know how you couldn’t do this without him and how great he is and how much you love him.
Or, call him a hooker. Your choice.
It’s my understanding that various sexual dysfunctions are common side effects of various chemotherapies and that for a lot of women, it’s very awkward and difficult to discuss these things with their doctor, but there are treatments that (from what I understand, through a cancer-survivor friend) can help even while the woman is undergoing treatment.
I don’t want to spam the boards here, but I once met someone involved in running FacingCancer.ca, an online community for cancer patients and survivors that deals with the “everything else” that cancer affects beyond the scientific and medical aspects. It’s affiliated with Look Good Feel Better and the woman I met was just so kind, awesome and inspiring that I figure I’ll toss in a mention since it’s relevant to the things the couple in the OP are going through.
I don’t think it’s a very big community yet, but I think it’s a wonderful idea and I would suggest that the woman in the OP take the time to visit it and see whether it helps her. For that matter, let the man in the OP go there too - maybe he can gain some insight into what she’s really going through and can stop thinking about his dick for five minutes.
There may be other groups (in the USA?) that provide similar support and advice - cancer sucks, but there can be another side to things.
Good luck (to the woman, at least… the man needs to think about his priorities!)
It may be morally permissible for a person who has been deprived of the ability to have normal sexual relations with their partner to seek physical solace outside of the marriage, even if the other partner will not consent. This tends to apply when the illness is one that permanently makes sex impossible (whether due to a physical OR mental disorder), *and *the healthy spouse is the long-term caretaker of the ill spouse.
*This *situation does not appear to meet those criteria, though. Investigate other kinds of sex you can have together, and keep it in your pants. IMO it is not permissible to cheat *unless *1) this has become a permanent problem, 2) you’ve gone years without sex, and 3) she won’t consent to allow you to seek sexual satisfaction outside the marriage.
If you **do **decide to cheat in the future, under the above circumstances that make it morally permissible, you need to be discreet and use 2 forms of protection (condom or vasectomy+birth control or tubes tied). But this should not come up unless your wife has been laid up and unable to have any form of sex for… at least 5 years, if you made me put a hard number on it. If you guys are still able to do oral and/or handies and/or anal, do that instead of cheating.