Men, would you still want to have intercourse if you couldn't come from it?

I was thinking about this, partly because of the “how many orgasms?” thread and partly because of a conversation I recently had with a friend. I was talking about orgasms and that intercourse generally didn’t lead to them for me, or, from what I have heard and read, all that many other women. Friend (with whom I have had sex) questioned why women bother to have intercourse then, and claimed that if they couldn’t come from fucking, men wouldn’t bother with it. I told him reasons why a woman might still like to fuck anyway, orgasms or not, and he seemed unconvinced.

Now, obviously from that, he wouldn’t, but what about other men? Are you guys just in it for the orgasms, or would you still want to fuck for other reasons?

Wait…not…want to…fuck?

Well, we’re not in it JUST for the orgasms, it’s just that we’re more privy to them.

Sex minus the orgasm, would I want to do it? Shit yeah, I would.

I had some medication problems some years back that did this and yes, I was still quite interested in enjoying some personal time with my girlfriend of the time.

Of course. There are quite a few other aspects to sex besides orgasm. In fact, there are quite a few other aspects to sex than intercourse, for that matter.

You’d just have to be more creative, that’s all.

Yes, and I asked him if it didn’t just feel good, regardless of orgasm. He said of course, which I thought rather shot down his point. He says a lot of stuff that I don’t understand, though.

Let me also clarify a bit. I don’t necessarily mean that you wouldn’t come at all; I just mean that intercourse wouldn’t be what brought you to orgasm.

Fuck no. (look mommy, I made a pun)
Why start something you can’t finish? But I do acknowledge that sex is different for a woman and an orgasm may not be necessary. I’ve had sex without orgasm (due to alcohol) and it was frustrating more than anything. But if I get to come one way or another, I’m all for it.

I agree. But if such was the ordinary state of affairs, everything would change. All in all… I’d still do it and enjoy it.

Hell yeah.

Not everything in life results in orgasms yet we still pursue those activities.

Not really. If I couldn’t have an orgasm I would more enjoy getting intimate in other ways not requiring penetration.

I’ve had sex without orgasm, orgasm without having sex, even orgasm without an erection. It’s all good. Especially if there’s a lot of intimacy going on.

I don’t always come. (I’m one of those guys who occasionally has too much stamina.) I still fuck. I’m honestly perplexed by the question.

I’m perplexed by your perplexity. I thought it was pretty straightforward–that I wanted to know how true my friend’s assertion was. Is there something else you don’t understand?

Reading over that, it reads as snarky to me, but that’s not how I mean it.

Yep. I was on an antidepressant at one point that made me non-orgasmic while it was frustrating I still wanted to and did have sex.

Well my boyfriend doesn’t always come from sex and we still do it. A lot. I love been a randy teenager.

omg yes! Well actually, with girls, sure, you could have sex for hours and hours and hours and I wouldn’t need to go to the gym anymore. With boys, not so much. Things tend to get sore after a while, but maybe anyway. I have had sex without orgasm on several occassions, and it was fine. Come to think of it, the best sex I had with my ex boyfriend, neither of us came, and it was fantastic.

So, in conclusion, HELL yeah!

Yeah, there was definitely a spell in my life when I’d kinda got out of practice and it took me a long while to get back into it. I still wanted to do it - it’s an enjoyable thing to be doing and you can still arrange to come some other way.

Well, if I personally couldn’t come, then no. It’d take a helluva lot of understanding on the lady’s part; most women have fragile sexual egos and would feel absolutely terrible about themselves if they had sex with a man and he couldn’t come. The hurt feelings on her end wouldn’t be worth it for me. Not to mention the blue balls! That shit hurts and it cancels out all the rubbing and sucking and good feelings in the world IME. But I’ve heard that MMV on that.

But if men as a whole were about as likely to come as women, and women understood and accepted this? Well, that would make the whole thing a completely different game. In that case, of course I would.

More then one guy I had a long term relationship with would occasionally start intercourse with me, only to stop of his own accord after ten minutes or so. The explanation was that he was too tired to do the gymnastics (I can fully understand, I can’t do 10 minutes of push-ups to save my life!) or that he wanted to save energy for the rest of the day. It was never a big deal. So yes, I have experienced guys who liked intercourse without orgasms.

I have never experienced it in relationships that lasted shorter then six months, though.

Definitely. Back in high school (the dark ages of the early ‘80’s), most of the girls still weren’t ready to give up the ol’ virginity so blowjobs were the sex du jour. Unfortunately, I couldn’t come from them. (I can now.) She could be down there doing her best work for half an hour, but while it felt great, I couldn’t ejaculate. Doesn’t mean I ever turned one down, though.

Occasionally she would help me get my rocks off in other ways, but if I had the problem with intercourse that I used to have with BJ’s, I’d still want to do it, then just finish things off with something else.

As another guy who has too much stamina, especially when wearing a condom (what’s the opposite of premature ejactulation?) I say hell yeah. Sex that doesn’t result in orgasm is better than no sex at all, any day. There’s far more to sex than just coming.