What constitutes “smug” definitely depends on the listener and their milieu. The linked thread is about a song that lampoons a certain type of pregnant woman. As seen from the perspective of the childless 30-something women who wrote the song, this “type” of pregnant woman comes across as smug because they can’t talk like a regular person. However, another observer, like the OP in that thread, may not see this at all.
So I’m thinking that it might be helpful for us to discuss smugness in general. What does it mean to be “smug”? What is a real life example of a smug remark that you’ve experienced first-hand? And if personal insecurities or negative experiences make one prone to “hearing” smugness, how can a person make sure they don’t make “smug” mistakes? Are there some topics that you suspect you sound smug about?
To me, smugness requires the person to be blatantly sarcastic in their body language (i.e. eye-rolling, crossed-arms, raised eyebrows, etc) as they speak their knowledge, as though irritated that the receiver doesn’t already know it, or alternatively, annoyed that they have to endure the presence of someone who knows so much less than them. Something like that. And I do think that personal insecurities and/or negative experiences make people more prone to hearing smugness, such as in the example of that thread. I think the questioner was annoyed that the answer-er wasn’t sharing information, and felt personally offended by it, and therefore interpreted the answer as smug to make up for their own bruised ego.
Last one I heard was when having an unintentional argument at the local DMV. Basically the clerk was saying the stamps on my passport where not the “right” stamps, implying I had not passed through customs. I asked her if she had ever gone through it, and she replied “Of course not, I’m local, I don’t have to pass.” It just dripped of an entitlement sense of her being better than me, a foreigner. BTW, it is also wrong, because even nationals have to get a stamp when they return, just like US. citizens get stamps in their passports from US customs when they return from other countries. Let’s just say the whole thing went down fast after that.
I am sometimes afraid of coming smug if I mention my education or my job. So I keep that back and vague until the other person keeps asking and asking and asking. If the other person is not interested, I see no need to volunteer that information, unless it is immediately relevant.
I just love smug people who do it after making assumptions about me.
Some of the RUB’s (rich urban xxxxxx ) do it to me because I don’t look the part or look too old or scruffy. Airplanes, boats, especially sail boats, motorcycles, shooting ability, etc…
I just let them go and then wander out, in my gators & shorts and get into or onto the plane, boat or bike they did not know was the one I was operating and leave with the look on their faces as I do just making me feel fine.
I am also an ambush-er when playing bridge. Much more in interested in graphic demonstrations of where their careful planning was not up to snuff than making big hands all through superior playing ability… My Dad broke all of his kids from the pitfalls of poker, bridge, etc., at a very young age.
( Does the ‘etc’ need a period when it is not the end of the sentence like above, with a coma or nothing at all, and does it need a double period when it is the end?
I think the sentence needs a comma but does it really? }
I had hit the up arrow on the remote and accidentally put Fox News on the TV. There was a political analyst named Krauthammer making some supposedly tangent point about Benghazi. :rolleyes:
Granted I’m no beauty, but this guys face matched his personality (and he was an Asshole).
After he made his smug point, the circular wrinkles around his face started to stretch until… As Og Is My Witness… he looked like a smiling asshole with multiple large distended hemorrhoids.
(No, I’m not posting a cite; if I’m wrong someone will post a perky prince charming boy-band pic of him. If I’m right, I’m saving the community from nausea.)
At a wedding the other week I was comparing parent notes, and my conversational partner lamented how hard it was to get her kid to accept the crib. I unhelpfully pointed out that I’ve been quite strict about the crib since day one. I meant to sympathize with how hard it is, but instead I came off smug and had no way to backpedal.
The first time I ever heard the word “smug” was when I first got my drivers license, and the first time my sister let me borrow her car to go someplace by myself. She told me when I got home that I “looked so smug” when I was driving away. So, “smug”, to me, means with an air of just barely justified self-confidence. So, an occasion in those days when I might have said something smug, would have been when I had just learned some interesting fact and imparted it to my listeners, but in fact knew va great deal less of substance about the subject than I wanted them to think…
Come to think of it, most of my posts in this subforum would meet that test.
I think my best friend often makes smug Facebook posts. Instead of being humble or humorous he always sounds sanctimonious and self-congratulatory.
Instead of like “I am smoking pork right now. Can’t wait to try it!” He posts a screed about his superior pork-smoking process.
Yesterday he rode his bike to work for the first time and his post was something like “Rode my bike to work for the first time today. Why? 1. To save gas 2. Consume 650 calories 3. A better me.” It came off as smug to me. I think it’s his use of “Why?” As if someone would question why someone would ride their bike to work.
Actually he does the “Why?” Bit a lot. Like we’re all in store for a great lesson!
Facebook is a vehicle for delivery of the smug. When the network crashes, it is the desolation of smug.
Most of the things people say on Facebook come across as self-promoting, self-congratulatory, “Look at ME, Look at ME!!”, I’m so great and you’re not smugness.
Ah, a wonderful bit of smugness right there a few posts up. Nice job. It just reeks of “Of course, I don’t watch Fox (obligingly thought-spelled as “Faux”) News. What kind of religious trailer-trash do you take me for?”
