“No matter how much she asks. I’m yours, after all.”
Martian Bigfoot, why did you eventually break up with Amber?
How about some pics, so we can decide if you’re exaggerating about either of them.
How many years ago was this? Any updates since then - who’s still got the looks?
Go on the offensive and play the psychiatrist game–counter with questions: e.g., Where did THAT come from?, etc…
You gotta get the upper hand. You had no HAND.
When you are dealing with insecurities, there isn’t a magic bullet which will cure them. No right answer will solve things forever. Some people get over them, some don’t.
She says “I’m not very attractive, am I?”
“You’re right” is the wrong answer.
“What?!”, or “Where the hell did that come from?” with a completely bewildered look might have worked. Staring at her blankly wasn’t that bad of a reaction, IMO. It’s a heck of thing to whip out and drop on the table.
Y’all know what else very slightly bugs me? I was wondering, and still am a bit, why, exactly, Amber was so firmly convinced of this fact. I mean, it was a fact, not opinion. When she said things in that tone of voice, they were true, plain and simple. Too bad she never predicted the lottery in that voice.
I *think *it meant: “Milhouse and I are best friends. She’ll never bang any of my boyfriends, or even ex-boyfriends. It’s a best friend thing.”
But it could have meant: “No way in Haiti are you up to Milhouse standards, buddy.”
Or maybe even: “Actually, Milhouse doesn’t have a vagina. She’s an alien.” Which would actually explain a few things.
But I didn’t inquire further into that. Because I was busy staring into space.
I can see why that would eat at you. Maybe she thought you were into Milhouse, maybe Milhouse was into you, maybe she just wanted to know if you were listening to her at all. Can you Facebook her or something and find out? (This is starting to sound like a '90s movie.)
Had he done that he may have had a chance with Milhouse 
Otherwise “C’est la vie” is about as much as I could come up with at the time.
Thank you for noticing. 
“Bzzzzzzt!”
“…okay, define ‘sex.’”
“Pfft, jokes on you!”
…are all pretty lousy answers.
“Challenge accepted!” then walking out the door probably wouldn’t have gone down well either.
Her conviction may have had less to do with you than about how well she knew Millhouse. Unless Millhouse slept around, which seems pretty unlikely for someone that introverted, the odds of that being true were really good, for any particular person your girlfriend could’ve made the declaration about. I can tell you with utter confidence a whole bunch of guys that my best friend will never sleep with, and given she’s shy like you say Millhouse is, the odds are great that I’d be right nearly every time.
It comes across to me as her being insecure, and thinking you only dated her to be with Milhouse.
I don’t know what I’d have said in the moment, but the best response I can come up with is “not really something I’d planned on doing.”
I do know how you feel. I’ve twice been told by different women, “You find me fascinating, don’t you?” And I’ve never known what I should have said.
“That’s OK, I’ll just have sex with you and think about her” may not be in the Top 100 best answers either.
Maybe Amber knew that Milhouse was a lesbian.
Anyway, the best thing I can think of in response is: “I want you.”
But total silence was probably a good option considering how many chances there were to fuck that one up.
There are some crucial questions for any of us to have any kind of chance at an educated guess.
Had you been banging Amber already when she made her declaration? If so, for how long, and how often? How long had it been, at the time? Was it understood to be exclusive at all, or was it more casual?
Without knowing any of the above and then some, I don’t see how any of us could begin to guess what she meant and what response you should have given.
This. And so was Amber. And they were a couple.
Where exactly Martian Bigfoot fit into this relationship remains unclear, but probably as Amber’s beard in a time when the love that she and Milhouse shared would have been misunderstood by their families and society.
The correct answer would have been “Well, obviously. But we’re still on for dinner with your parents next week right?”
“Yeah, her and about a billion other women on this planet…but with you I’ve got a shot.”
Although she will quickly correct you with “had…had a shot.”