Here was mine:
According to the search, my first thread was Troll cops
(04-03-2002 02:08 AM)
From memory - it might be my first post (i.e. the search might be correct) but I am not 100% sure.
And there is no flaming in it:eek:
My first thread was {url=http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=154723]Stirring Coffee.
Fixed link 
.
Damn coding.
My Mistake. I read the search upside down. My first post was gibberish Spam
( 03-18-2002 01:54 AM)
Q.E.D. You used a smiley as a link?!
(You learn something new every day)
I think it was “How do canal diggers move away the absolutely last dike?”, a general question that had bothered me before joining the SDMB, and it was the dominant reason at that time for me to join.
One of the great burning questions of our times…
My first post on this board was in the “Welcome” thread where TubaDiva was welcoming all of us AOL alumni to the new message board. Watch as AHunter3 flounders through his first few posts trying to figure out how to copy and paste and how to quote. :o
But if you have America Online, you can glance at the earliest post I can find (or that I’m willing to own up to 
), which is a lot more entertaining –
At the time, active threads, started within days of each other, included:
**
Is God Really the Devil in Disguise?
God Exists, No Need Experiment
God
God – the Movie
Does God Exist?
Does God Exist? Let’s try something new…
God DOES Exist–Proof
Goes Does NOT Exist, a Proof
God or No God
Does God Exist? An Experiment-Refocus
**
So I posted the tongue-in-cheek God is a CAT – a Proof! AOL keyword = aol://5863:126/mB:59300:54753
(My absolutely-earliest post to Straight Dope altogether is lost for all time, because the AOL boards were reformulated some time around January of 1997 and the posts prior to that do not seem to be available. Furthermore I have no idea what it was. Maybe best that way)
Hmmph. That first link should have gone to this specific post. Been on the board 3 years and still have trouble linking to a specific post, dammit!
None of the posts this old show the User Name (and they all list status as “Guest”) for some reason pertaining to the changeover from UBB to vB software, I guess. Mine are the ones with the sig line “Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post”.
My first thread was Quality of the song in your head…, a GQ thread about details of the “song stuck in your head” phenomenon. There’s some interesting info and speculation on the causes of “sticking” in it.
My first thread was:It cost me $30 for a tampon.
Twin Cities was mine, I think. Not sure though… I did a search and that was the earliest I found.
Does anyone ever fall for spam?
Apparently, they do.
It would seem that my first post simply wasn’t interesting enough to comment on LMAO
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=143817
What can I say… I am apparently as boring as I’d always suspected 
Max
PS Are we discussing the first thread we actually started, or the first thread we participated in?
The first thread I actually participated in was this one: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=48514
In fact, I’m barfing just thinking about that video.
Max