Uncle Billy, in It’s a Wonderful Life, managed to misplace $8000 in cash without the faintest clue where it could have gone. As I age, I am sadly finding myself in Uncle Billy’s shoes more and more often (though so far not to the tune of $8000). Things go absurdly, wildly, improbably missing and deducing what could have happened to them is getting harder every day. Yesterday I spent an hour looking for my car keys, and finally found them inside the umbrella I’d left by the door. So what has been (so far) your worst Uncle Billy moment?
Nothing too bad lately. I’ve completely lost a pizza cutter that I know I had when I moved in. I think it must have gone into the trash somehow.
I once lost one of my favorite t-shirts for something like 5 years, then found it (it got packed somewhere it shouldn’t have when I moved someplace that I knew was temporary and never bothered unpacking everything). Oh, and I once lost a CD for almost a year and found it (it got packed with Christmas decorations of all the crazy things).
Probably two minutes ago.
I got a gift card to Lou Malnatti’s for Secretary’s Day and had enough left on it to purchase my Mom her Mother’s Day Gift from Tastes of Chicago online - it was an Eli’s Cheesecake Regular and a Sampler Cake - like almost $60. So I’m filling in the form and input the gift card info - the website says I have no money on it.
I’m freaking out because last weekend I used up an older Lou Malnatti’s Gift Card and a little bit of this new one for our dinner on Sunday - and was freaking out that I kept the zero balance card and let them keep the one with the $68 still on it instead of vice versa. Turns out that I just entered the number in the wrong format…
You know, I’m an idiot…
My wife is always frantically searching for her sunglasses, keys, etc. They’re always in her purse. You’d think she would clue in by now. 
I lost a car. Not just “Did I park in this row?” but full blown “I have no freaking idea where I left it.”
I finally called the police to report it missing. They found it for me.
It’s a regular occurance for me to find myself in some room, like my kitchen, knowing that I’m there for a specific important reason, but I have no idea what that reason might be.
I have half a dozen plates that I know I packed and moved from Texas to New York but I cannot find them anywhere. They no longer exist in my world, which makes me sad because I don’t know what else might have been packed in the box with them when they went missing. I guess it doesn’t matter though, because whatever is gone is something Ive done without for a year with no problem.
C’mon…where’d they find it? Did you leave it there? How long did it take them? Did they ever find out you had merely lost the car?
My Uncle Billy moment: I lost the deed to my house and land. It took me about eight months to find it. I have no idea why I had put it in a box of odds and ends from my childhood, but it is now properly filed.
We had corporate “head shots” taken on Monday. There was a dress code, that everyone should wear a suit or jacket in the photo.
Monday morning I get all gussied up, with my new black pinstripe pants and white blouse. I’m all ready to leave, and I went to the coat closet to get my black jacket. It’s not there. Ok, says I, it must be in the bedroom closet. Nope. I checked my husband’s closet. I looked at every garment bag, drycleaner’s bag, floors of closets, the freakin’ car…nowhere. It disappeared.
I have a feeling I must have left it on the back of a chair in a restaurant somewhere. I haven’t worn it in weeks.
I had to change clothes, and I was late to work. 
I lost a rather large collection of action figures/fast food restaurant toys/etc. awhile back. I had them all arranged on a shelf in a tiny spare room, but when we were going to move I packed them all up in a bag and put them in the garage. I suspect what happened was that somebody found them during our garage sale (even though, knowing me, I’d have put them far back where it was clear that they weren’t for sale) and walked off with them. Otherwise, I’ve ransacked the house and both of our storage units looking for them, and no go. Can’t imagine what else could have happened to them.
I wouldn’t have minded so much except that I had a nearly complete set of figures from "The Tick’ that I was kind of bummed to lose.
They found it a few days later. Full disclosure, I was drunk off my ass at the time I parked it. Somewhat wisely I decided to get another way home. The problem was that I had no idea where the car was.
I never actually said it was stolen…though I imagine they inferred such. Since nothing was missing from the car and I had it back they didn’t try to catch the ‘thief’ and that was the end of it.
The pizza cutter’s easy to explain. You ordered pizza, you cut the pizza into smaller pieces while it was still in the boxes, you got distracted after finishing but before removing the pizza from the box, and the box went in the trash. I’ve done it.
As for me: A few months ago I was giving an ex-friend of mine a ride back to her house. I visited her quite a bit, and always parked in the same place on her street. When her house came into view, I said, “Holy crap! Somebody stole my car!”
Causing my friend to reply, “Um…we’re in your car. I think your blood sugar’s low.”
One day, I misplaced my keys. I couldn’t find them, and the harder I looked, the more hysterical I got. I ended up calling Airman, who came home, moved a stack of papers, and uncovered my keys.
Now whenever I misplace anything, I ask him to find it. He’s a genius at it.
Robin
That would explain it, if I had ever done that. I don’t claim to be above ordering pizza, but I’ve never subdivided it with a pizza cutter. I used the pizza cutter only on fropi.
I find it amazing and amusing how my mind can invent a whole story in a flash, sending me on a tear, when the truth was much more mild and uneventful. Sometimes when I don’t find something where I expect it I will invent the most elaborate fiction as to what happened, and proceed to follow up on that.
I put a cashbox on top of my car while I was getting in and forgot about it. There was about $2,000.00 in there.
Luckily, somebody in a passing car pointed it out to me as I was driving down the street. :smack:
Right now. Because all I can think of is:
“Oh Billy!”
I’m so ashamed.
When I got my first MP3 player, I ripped all the CDs in my collection. Then a year or two later, I couldn’t find the ripped versions of a couple of CDs that I knew I had. So I figured I must have forgotten to rip them, so I looked through all my CDs, but couldn’t find them. I finally concluded that I had never owned them - I had had the LP versions long ago but had never got the CDs. Either that or I lost them somewhere, which is just as bad.
You sound just like this guy. 
Something I did a long time ago, in my late teens I think. I spent nearly an hour searching all over the house for my glasses, before realizing I was wearing them. :smack: