lol@Unclebill and Gorgon Heap 
We had a depaganized handfasting, with the standard vows for that. Since the circle casting and calling of the quarters were taken out, it wasn’t exactly usual for the religion we stole it from. It suited us perfectly, though.
MY vows were fairly standard, but there was a statement by the minister after the vows that I liked. Instead of the part before the vows “speak now or forever hold your peace” the congregation was admonished “if anyone seeks to divide their heart and sould from one another, let them do at the peril of offending a creation of God’s making, that has His blessing.” And as a new couple, we were told that “if there is anything in your hearts which would alienate your union, let it now be left behind in the mercy of the forgiveness of God.”
OKay since I am recently married, I have them right here:
I, ( Name), take (you/thee), (spouse Name),
to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] husband/wife,
secure in the knowledge that you will be
my constant friend,
my faithful partner in life,
and my one true love.
On this special and holy day,
I give to you
in the presence of God and all those in attendance
my pledge to stay by your side as your faithful wife/husband
in sickness and in health,
in joy and in sorrow, as well as
through the good times and the bad.
I promise to love you without reservation,
comfort you in times of distress,
encourage you to achieve all of your goals,
laugh with you and cry with you,
grow with you in mind and spirit,
always be open and honest with you,
and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
These will be the vows (and ceremony) the SO and I will be saying when we get hitched in May: http://www.thetask.com/thresholds/handfastings/spirithand.htm
With a few adjustments, of course, but you get the idea.
Standard Anglican vows- the Book of Common Prayer. I wanted to promise to obey, but I think our minister would have had fits, and it would have taken a long time to explain what I mean by “obey”. In my prayerbook, it says “ordinance”. We changed the rings thing back to the older prayerbook verion. The new one is:
“With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee honour, and all my wordly goods with thee I share.”
The old one is, “With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and all my worldly goods I thee endow”. One of “worship”’'s older meanings, the one I think the book means, is to give what is right, to give one’s due. I like that.
The East Timorese vows for the woman remind her that the husband is the BOSS!
My wife and I have been teasing each other about that one…
fairly standard Quaker (Religious Society of Friends) vows:
“In the presense of the Spirit, and these our friends, I take thee epeepunk to be my husband, promising with divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful wife so long as we both shall live.”
His, similar routine. We then exchanged rings, on which we had engraved the thing we felt defined how we knew we should get married. Mine to him said “tu et personne d’autre” (thee and no other - that is, I finally found a guy who made me stop looking at other people with a Hmmmm look), and his to me said “pour toujours” (forever, as in, he found someone he actually wanted to spend forever with).
No minister/priest/etc., so you have to memorize your vows. And you even get to decide when to stand up and say them, too. I like the simple approach, fewer loopholes in ‘loving and faithful’ than in some of the custom vows I’ve heard.
Ours were the traditional ones, from the Methodist marriage service (we got married before we became Episcopalians). (Don’t have a Methodist hymnal or service book handy to quote them – it’s in storage, but if anybody has a vintage-1976 Methodist marriage service and can quote them online, I’d be grateful.
I assume you used your IRL names – or else you two are spending waaaaaay too much time on this board!!
My vows were “Nooooo, I don’t wanna get married!”, followed abruptly by me running screaming from the room. 
But seriously, folks:
I’m a 37-year-old man who’s never been married, who lives alone, and who has a whole bookshelf full of D&D materials. And you can see just by looking at my post count how much time I spend online. All I need is to move into my parents’ basement, and it would complete the picture. sigh
Soo… tracer , how you doin’???
“I vow never to use these super-powers ever!”
SCREWPA!
I thought everyone was looking at us funny.
I thought it was because I vowed to OBEY. :eek:
“Sit!”
Like Lissla Lissar, ours came straight out of the BOCP.
Our preist told us that this was the same liturgy they used when people got married by Capt. Steubing on The Love Boat!
I should add, that I had to look that up just now. I don’t actually remember a single word that was said during the ceremony - only that my feet were killing me in those rented shoes.
Do you, Hastur, take _________ as your husband, to mock and destroy the institution of the family and all of western civilization as we know it, bringing down the wrath of Jebus upon the United States, which we know to be the chosen land mass of the Almighty?
We got married in Swaziland. We are both American, by the way, so they didn’t make us put our tribe and chief on the form.
Only one vow. The magistrate said, Do you promise to love each other as long as you both shall live? We said we did.
I liked that. Cut right to the chase.
Then the magistrate added his own words. He said, even though today the sun is shining, someday it will rain. And even though you have both promised to love each other until death, you must not kill each other.
He was so wonderful. It was exactly the type of ceremony I wanted.
We haven’t killed each other so far, going on 16 years. And it has nothing to do with the fact that the form says we can only be parted by the Swazi Supreme Court. Some people have to go to Reno. I would have to go to Mbabane. I’m entertained by that idea, too.
The one from The Old Red Hymnal*, minus the ‘obey’ bit.
*Lutherans will get this one.
I dunno – we repeated what the Family Court Commissioner* told us to. I do remember that “obey” was not in there, because I would have omitted it if it had been.
*Yes, we couldn’t even get a real judge. sob When we get around to doing the renewal thing, we’ll try to have our neighbor/distant relative the state supreme court justice do it. That oughta make things even.