Turning Japanses was done by The Vapors.
I am such a nerd!
Bad Religion’s I Love My Computer.
Depends on what kind of nerd you are. These are three I’d nominate for physics, chemistry and microbiology nerds.
Sing to the tune of “Home On The Range.”
Oh, give me a locus where the gravitons focus
Where the three-body problem is solved,
Where the microwaves play down at three degrees K,
And the cold virus never evolved. (chorus)
CHORUS: Home, home on LaGrange,
Where the space debris always collects,
We possess, so it seems, two of Man’s greatest dreams:
Solar power and zero-gee sex.
We eat algea pie, our vacuum is high,
Our ball bearings are perfectly round.
Our horizon is curved, our warheads are MIRVed,
And a kilogram weighs half a pound. (chorus)
If we run out of space for our burgeoning race
No more Lebensraum left for the Mensch
When we’re ready to start, we can take Mars apart,
If we just find a big enough wrench. (chorus)
I’m sick of this place, it’s just McDonald’s in space,
And living up here is a bore.
Tell the shiggies, “Don’t cry,” they can kiss me goodbye
'Cause I’m moving next week to L4! (chorus)
Sing to the tune of “America The Beautiful” –
The carbonyl is polarized,
The delta end is plus.
The nucleophile will thus attack,
The carbon nucleus.
Addition makes an alcohol,
Of types there are but three.
It makes a bond, to correspond,
From C to shining C.
Spreading My Favorite Disease
(Melody: A Few of my Favorite Things)
Eat uncooked chicken and raw pork for dinner
Don’t wash your hands first and you’ll be the winner
of Campylobacter, trichina worm eggs
You won’t be able to stand on your legs
Your bowels are bursting while you’re in the pool
Empty them now and leave brown trails of stool
The water’s now tainted, your belly’s at ease
Look out, you’re spreading my favorite disease
Salmonella
And Shigella
Klebsiella, too
Explode from your butt like a terrorist’s bomb, be glad you don’t have the flu!
Mycobacterium tuberculosis
Is a great deal worse than bad halitosis
Chest pain and coughing and hocking up phlegm
Airborne transmission, now pass it to them
Mug one of your neighbors with a rusty knife
Clostridium toxin which will take his life
The tetanus toxin will lock shut his jaw
This will prevent him from calling the law
Make your dog bite
Transmit rabies
Get some plague rats, too
With proper skill you will spread a disease that won’t be helped by hot soup
Sometimes microbes can be fun for a reason
Their by-products stink and they ooze from your lesions
Putrescine causes stench corpses decay
All ‘cause of arginine dihydrolase
Pustulent blisters from which microbes issue
Neutrophils gather round infected tissue
The body’s defenses, they don’t always work
Sneaky bacteria hide and they lurk
Swirl that flask now
Pour its contents
Splash that jerk you hate
All he needs now is a horrible case of flesh eating strep in his face!
Go to the Third World and bring home a virus
Hemorrhagic fever, perhaps meningitis
How ‘bout a prion for brains like kuru
What lovely disease shall I pass on to you?
Aedes aegypti, a vector mosquito
Let’s send infected ones to Escondido
The dumb airheads there will think dengue’s so cool
We surely won’t miss such a bunch of damn fools
Find receptors
On the neurons
Of your enemy
Design a virus to exactly match, and he will be dead, you see.
Syphilis is quite a nasty infection
You can transmit it by showing affection
Have you a past lover you’d like to avenge?
Then ask him if he’d like to see you again
Skunks, voles and possums and vampire bats,
Squirrels, mice and chipmunks, and don’t forget rats
Spread hanta and rabies plus bubonic plague
Tularemia, typhus, and maybe the ague.
Peromyscus
Oryzomys
Our little fuzzy friends
Their ticks and excreta transmit the diseases that bring us to our end.
How about Tom Lehrer’s Elements Song?
Through Being Cool, by Devo, most definitely.
“If you live in a big place, you might meet a dozen or two
young alien types who step out and dare to declare:
'We’re through being cool!”
Also Time Out For Fun is a good one. Every time I hear that song I can’t help but jump with joy!
“Don’t you lose it, now listen to us,
everything’s gonna be alright!
Take a break, make some time,
everything’s gonna be alright!
Don’t you lose it, remember to take
Time Out For Fun!”
Good advice.
Zebra –
yes, those are the complete lyrics. I realize now that the comma at the end left it a bit ambiguous. Perhaps you could add some more of your own to your liking?
Seconded. Which makes it especially humorous now that it’s on a shampoo commercial.
Although, personally, I’d rather listen to Devo.
Can’t believe the thread’s gotten this far with no mention of They Might be Giants - I Palindrome I immediately sprang to mind, followed closely by How Does the Sun Shine? and Particle Man.
Devo and TMBG are both fine choices, but what about something by the Violent Femmes for the angry and depressed nerd? “Kiss Off”, maybe?
Jon
If we’re gonna go with TMBG, I vote for “We Want A Rock”. Only the true nerds want to wear prosthetic foreheads on their real heads.
And you know, we can’t forget about the Dead Milkmen either. “Punk Rock Girl” is the ultimate nerd love song.
Jon
Or even “Black Girls” for the sexually ambiguous christian nerd.
Jon
Also from TMBG, “James K. Polk”:
“In 1844, the Democrats were split
The three nominees for the presidential candidate
Were Martin Van Buren, a former president and an abolitionist
James Buchanan, a moderate
Louis Cass, a general and expansionist
From Nashville came a dark horse riding up
He was James K. Polk, Napoleon of the Stump
Austere, severe, he held few people dear
His oratory filled his foes with fear
The factions soon agreed
He’s just the man we need.”
Rush - “Vital Signs”:
"Process information at half speed.
Pause, rewind, replay,
Warm memory chip,
Random sample, hold the one you need. "
Rush-“Natural Science”:
“Science, like nature,
Must also be tamed
With a view towards its preservation.
Given the same
State of integrity,
It will surely serve us well.”
Kraftwerk - Pretty much the whole “Computer World” album, which featured such songs as “Computer Love,” “Home Computer,” and “It’s More Fun to Compute.” Songs on previous albums include “Geiger Counter” and “Ohm Sweet Ohm.”
A nerd anthem would involve fractals.
I think it should be either “We’re Knights of the Round Table” or “Brave Sir Robin,” both from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. 
look@hergo!, the point about posting complete lyrics is that it’s against board policy to do so, if it’s copyrighted.
What was the title of the universe song that Monty Python did?
I especially liked the last line - “And pray that there’s intellegent life somewhere out in space because there’s bugger all down here on Earth.”
Daddytimestwo – thanks for the “heads up”. I’m new here – I didn’t know. Never again.
What ever song is selected as the nerd anthem, Kenny Chesne would be my first pick to sing it.
People…People who don’t need people…are the luckiest people…
While those are all great, nobody has yet mention the ultimate Nerd Anthem. The one song which every nerd on Earth knows, can and will break out into randomly.
That song is…The Imperial Death March.
Dun dun dun, da dun dun, da dun dun…