So in the middle of busy working day I go on to kill my boss by slitting his throat and making sure to the best of my abilities that I have killed him and then I sit on the opposite chair while waiting for the authorities.
What will happen in the following days do I get imprisoned for life? The death penalty? Or am I sent of to the loony bin?
As with all things, it depends.
What state are you in? Are you offering any defense? Confessing?
I feel like I shouldn’t mention this but…
If you can make a plea deal, you could potentially plead insanity.
Wouldn’t suggest it though. Blood takes FOREVER to get out of white. Try black, shows up less.
When my son was a senior in high school, he had been admitted to a special program at the local community college, that provided a LOT of support for students who had disadvantages (economic, language, or in his case, developmental). We really wanted him to go forward with this.
Then he got accepted into a regular 4-year university. And, unbeknownst to us, used that as an excuse to tell the community college people “thanks but no thanks”… which we found out a month later, when there was no hope of having him readmitted into the program. His subsequent experience at the 4-year college bore out our worries; he was on academic probation after 1 semester and had to return home after the 2nd.
What, you may ask, does this have to do with the OP?
Well, we called our family therapist about this. And I said flat out “I want to kill him. I’m telling you this right now, because if he turns up dead, you’ll have to testify against me. And my knowing that just might be what saves the kid’s life!”.
So… if your boss does turn up somewhere lacking a functioning circulatory system, you’re now the prime suspect. If the boss dies, it had better be an ironclad case of natural causes!!
You’ll get fired and you won’t get a reference from that company.
Quick question - you are a new member. Why are you asking?
::Applies for one of the now-two open positions::
(I hear it’s a killer place to work at.)
Yeah but they work you to death.
From your boss’ perspective:
All muscles in the body will relax, a state known as primary flaccidity. His or her eyelids will lose their tension and may open, his or her pupils will dilate, their jaw will possibly fall open, and the body’s joints and limbs will be quite flexible. With the loss of tension in the muscles, his or her skin will begin to sag, often causing some bones, such as the jaw or hips, to become more pronounced.
Within a few minutes, a process called pallor mortis causes the skin to grow pale as blood drains from the smaller veins in the skin. The body will begin to cool from its normal temperature of 98.6 F, falling to the ambient temperature around it. During the first hour, it will typically drop 2 degrees C, and 1 degree every hour after that until it reaches the temperature of the air around it. This is known as algor mortis, or the “DEATH CHILL!!!”
With the relaxation of muscles, sphincter tone diminishes and your boss will release his or her bowels and urine.
After about 2 hours, livor mortis sets in, which is a pooling of the blood in areas closest to the ground, due to gravity. If left long enough, what looks like bruising can occur in those areas.
After about 3 hours, rigor mortis sets in, which comes from a chemical change within your boss’ body’s cells, causing muscles to stiffen. The body’s limbs and fingers will slightly flex and curl.
Once you hit the 12-hour mark, you have MAXIMUM RIGOR MORTIS!!! At this point, known as secondary flaccidity, decay causes the muscles to once again loosen. During secondary flaccidity, it may look like the hair and nails are getting longer. They’re not. It’s simply the skin shrinking, creating an illusion of hair and nail growth.
Once secondary flaccidity is complete, you are free to patch your boss’ neck up and tote him or her around, Weekend-at-Bernie’s-style, until the organs begin to liquefy and fluids are released from the body’s orifices. But that’s a story for another time!
But surprisingly, that only happens to management, not the workers; which is the opposite of most workplaces.
Regards,
Shodan
Well one thing that happens is they check your computer history and discover that you posted the question “What would happen if I killed my boss?” That makes it very unlikely you’ll be sent to the loony bin.
Other than that, see Shodan’s reply.
Need answer fast?
Can you afford a really good attorney?
Doesn’t that kind of depend on how popular and effective the deceased was in the workplace? If he was a real slug, you might just get a bonus.
Off thread just a bit but related - If I sprain my wrist while strangling a fellow employee, can I get workman’s comp?
Unless proper strangling technique was part of orientation and new employee training, very likely.
Let’s say I’m in the state of Maharashtra which is situated in India. I’m not offering any kind of defense. I will be confessing to everything that happened.
That would actually be really funny if my boss dies and I’m arrested for it and if I’m sentenced to life imprisonment then I’ll probably die laughing.
I’m not quite sure why I’m asking but I’m glad I did as so far I’m loving all the replies including yours.
OP, I predict you do well on this messsge board. 
But, really don’t go around killing peeps. You can’t have computers in prison.