What would happen if I killed my boss?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

You note that your boss has no second-in-command.
Depending on the size of the company, that could very well mean YOU are next in line for the newly-vacated role and your boss’ previous responsibilities.

Whether or not you get to enjoy the perks or even perform any of your boss’ obligatory duties will depend very much on what the police/court/prison system says about your alleged homicide.

What do you WANT to happen?
How were you positioned when you slit your boss’ throat?
How much money do you want to spend on your defense?

A really good lawyer might be able to sell “He was Framed” to a judge and jury. That’s a bit harder-to-do if you were standing so his slit throat sprayed across all your clothing.

You might get to BelleVue by insisting, “Yes, I did kill my boss. And my neighbor. And the pope. And Presidents Reagan, Kennedy, and Lincoln – oh, and Jenner, too. Whatd’ya mean there’s no such thing? Caitlyn ran and won when I was a kid!”

–G!

42

I’m not quite sure what I want I think in a perfect world I would like to kill my boss and not be punished for it and replace him which I know will increase my responsibilities but I’ll also get an increased salary.

I don’t plan to spend any money on my defence as I’ll not be refuting any of the charges.

43

Or - and hear me out - you could simply go for a promotion that does not involve killing anyone.

44

We’re trying to think outside the box here.

Regards,
Shodan

45

If your boss was an immediate family member, you should get 3 days off.

46

Why would that be a perfect world?

Before you answer, bear in mind that the next person down the line could, in that world, do the same thing to you.

47

Just make sure you use rare Italian leather gloves that are tight enough that they won’t fit if

  1. You are wearing latex gloves
  2. You forget to take your arthritis medicine and your hands swell
  3. You overact like you cant get them on
48

Fortunately in that perfect world there won’t be a next person down the line.

49

No jail time at all or any thing like that.
It’s one of the benefits of being self-employed that is often overlooked.

50

Are you sure about that?

51

Then you won’t have your boss’s job. Because one can’t be a boss unless there’s somebody being bossed; but if there is somebody being bossed, then there will be somebody down the line.

52

About putting someone in a box, without getting put in the box. I think screenwriter is his best move.

53

If the OP shot his boss, the boss would be hailed as a hero no matter what.

54

I don’t know about hero but I’m quite sure that he’ll be sympathized with by the other staff members.

55

Actually if I can get away with it then I am certain that I will replace him as the head honcho,if there is somebody down the line then it will be several years later.

56

First, place a gun in your boss’ hand. (You DO carry a throw-down piece, don’t you?) Using a gloved hand, manipulate the gun to fire a shot in the general direction of your desk. Dispose of the glove in an effective manner. Wash hands and face thoroughly. If possible, dispose of your outer layer of clothing.

“He was ranting about aliens and fired a shot at me. While he was yelling, I was able to slip behind him. Luckily, I had my Applegate-Fairbarn Covert Folder in my pocket.”

Be sure to retain an agent.

57

Do you work at a call center? I just have to know if you’re the stereotype.

58

No man I do not.

59

So you are angling to lead an organization of 2, by reducing the workforce to 1? Family business?

60

That’s a very a good point and it may seem like I’m digging my own grave and in a way I very well might be but for most of the part I do most of the work myself and he usually just shows up near the end of the month to collect the cheque. There are definitely instances where 2 individuals will speed up the work by a lot but I’ll manage. It’s not a family business.