The Master is Rush Limbaugh.
You mean this isn’t it? 
Guess I’ll have to go out and try to find it, then.
No threads would ever be closed.
Ever.
Established posters would click on the links in spam threads, purchase the product, and then provide testimonials in the thread.
Oh the horror; let’s hope this never happens. Never.
FTR I’m doing my part to prevent this from happening.
I really don’t understand heterosexuals. First of all, you should never be able to marry.
Fuck off Opal!
The plural of anecote is data.
Twickster banned for not cursing and not engaging in enough ad hominems.
When I say I don’t know the answer, everyone says “Cite.”
RickJay thinks baseball is for pussies.
Absence of evidence is evidence.
We go to the Pit to write nice things about each other
Moved from MPSIMS to Great Debates.
in Bizarro Dope
“How dare you not declaw your cat? Don’t you care about your furniture!?”
“I completely understand this normal, human behavior.”
YouTube comments.
Baker’s Dozen game requires you to name 13 things with absolutely nothing in common.
Astorian WON on Jeopardy! Unfortunately, only the last place contestant keeps the money.
The thread with the largest number of viewers and posters would be "Ayn Rand is the Savior of the World. Post only if you agree."
What did David Crosby do?
Norm. In bizarro world, Norm Crosby is a rapist.
Of course pictures and avatars are allowed! It’s not 1995!
The Phantom Menace is everyone’s favorite movie, and The Princess Bride is considered the worst film ever made.
Dopers brag about how much TV they watch, and laugh about how they’re always late for everything.
Grammatical errors in posts go unnoticed.
Searches are instantaneous and there is no wait time in between them.
There is no maximum edit window. You can edit your post days, or even years later.
The administrators can actually make changes to the forum without beseeching some overworked IT guy.
And then other posters remove the things from the list one by one until they’re all gone. The person who removes the last item posts a new list of thirteen.