What would they be? [question about presumed transgender individuals]

On a recent Amtrak trip we sat across the table from two stunning and amply endowed women who shared a room in the sleeper car. During the conversation I noted to myself both had relatively deep voices, one especially so. Nothing particularly unusual in itself. However, after dinner my wife pointed out both had very pronounced laryngeal prominences (Adam’s Apples). With compliments to the surgeons, we assumed they were brought into this world as men.

Assuming our presumption accurate, and if they were lovers (vs just friends) would they consider themselves lesbians, transexuals or just sugically altered homosexuals?


It seems odd that men would get sex changes to become lesbians. Are you sure they weren’t just good cross dressers?

Moved to IMHO, and title indicated to indicate subject.

General Questions Moderator

Not a chance. One in particular had very ample breasts which were half exposed.

NOOOOOOOOOO!!! <slow-motion dive toward OP’s keyboard>

People? A dedicated couple? Happy together? Above little labels that try to pigeonhole the human experience?

Or you could have asked them. If you start a nice conversation you might not sound like a prying busy-body.

Maybe you can write out what one of these conversations might sound like?

“Excuse me, you have some mighty bodacious tatas there, and I was just wondering, if you don’t mind, telling me and my wife…”

No good?

“Excuse me, you have some mighty bodacious tatas there, and I was just wondering, if you don’t mind, telling me and my wife…”

I was down for that direct/polite approach, but my wife disagreed. Go figure.

Couldn’t hurt to try, but I would start with dinner-type conversation, or talking about travelling by train, and *then *yell “Good Lord, what in the world are you?”

Whether one believes themselves to be a woman in a man’s body or not and whether one is attracted to women or not are two different things.

I know a friend who self-identifies as a translesbian.
And her grown children, who still call her “dad”, which she’s OK with.
My friend was always attracted to women and still is, even after the gender reassignment surgery.

Yeah, it’s waaay too individual a thing to even attempt to label from the outside. You just can’t guess. No, really. You CAN’T, so don’t try.

Why would it be strange?

Gender identity isn’t the same thing as sexual orientation. In fact, in some cases transgender people want nothing to do with their birth gender. I had a male-to-female friend who didn’t want to be a man, didn’t want to be around men, and certainly didn’t want to have sex with them. She was perfectly happy in a world full of beautiful, glamorous, kind-hearted women.

uh, assuming they are in fact trans women, we can safely jump on the "they don’t consider themselves ‘just sugically altered homosexuals’ " train.

OP, your wife was right. It’d be pretty rude to just ask them, hey are you trans and also lovers? And if the latter, how do you define that? Holy shit, dude, personal fucking boundaries. Also, ps, trans people don’t exist for you to gawk at.

What’s odd about that? If you have the identity of a woman, trapped in a man’s body, and you have surgery to correct that . . . what does that have to do with being attracted to women?

Just as a point of order, you don’t start using different pronouns just because someone has had their genitals mutilated, they’re still a he/him if born male.

Sure, if one wants to be needlessly rude, then one can go ahead and do that.

BTW, not all trans people get genital surgery. Just FYI.

I have no idea how you come to this conclusion.

For example: I was born female. I look female. People assume I am female. I identify as female, and I identify as heterosexual. The fact that all of that is ‘natural’ is just an accident of birth.
There are so many variations on that theme that I am at a loss how someone can take one look at someone and presume to guess, well…anything. Yes, you go by looks, because that is all one has to go on at first. But to deny a person their chosen identity because you disagree with it is, well…inhuman.

Of course not. I never look at anyone’s genitals or enquire about their surgical history before choosing a pronouns.

I go by what people prefer.